u/blackpnik

maybe an unpopular opinion, but i always see people talk about the show having a “decline” and switching from something light and superficial in its drama to a very dark series all of a sudden. personally, however, i did not find season one to be a lighthearted and amusing show, rather it was the systematic breakdown of whitney’s psyche lmao and it was just as hard for me to watch as the rest of it has been!

the first season had connor sharing part of his abuse as a child and he and whitney talking about his infidelity right off the bat. then for i don’t remember how many episodes, everyone turns on whitney for wanting to distance herself from a woman who was just ARRESTED for domestic violence after nearly ruining everyone’s career by implicating them in a swinging scandal they had no part in.

and to make matters worse, the entire internet hated whitney too for not wanting to kiss taylor’s ass and having a cringe fashion style… instead of turning on the woman who literally assaulted her partner and child in the very first episode. but i guess taylor was too pregnant to keep throwing chairs the rest of the season so no one cared anymore!

there was absolutely nothing fun or lighthearted about the way people demeaned and harassed whitney and connor’s marriage and sexuality, especially people spreading rumours he was gay and calling them a lavender couple incessantly in their comments. i remember i made a post on this sub after season one aired saying it was homophobic and disrespectful to speculate on and mock their sexualities, especially because they’re in a literal homophobic cult, and most of the comments were basically saying “it’s my god-given right to be a bigot because they’re on my screen!”

i don’t think the show suddenly and unpredictably took a turn towards something very dark and sinister. it was always that way, but people overlooked it because the editing brainwashed people into hating whitney for being a little cringe and loving taylor for being the actual fucking worst.

the first season started out with domestic abuse, incredibly toxic relationships, mikayla’s childhood sexual abuse and current relationship struggles, everything whitney and connor went through, demi and jessi being fucking nutcases. shit’s never been lighthearted drama when half the cast should be in jail 😭

hi friends, i (mid20s, brown & black female) am on a hiatus from my last degree which ended in december and waiting to start a new master’s program in the fall. i had been dealing with it very well so far; i’ve been studying full-time in a very demanding program for the last 3 years and i desperately needed this “vacation,” as it were. i had not more than a week’s break from full-time studies since 2022.

i’ve been trying to find a part-time job for months but to no luck, then suddenly got an interview for a minimum wage cashier job i thought was part-time at a local pool. i was somewhat excited about it because it’s only a few minutes away from home and thought it would be low stakes, low communication. we had our first work meeting today and i discovered it was not in fact part-time nor was it low communication.

it’s 40 hours a week and would require me to work very closely with a minimum of 10 teenagers per shift who all go to the same schools and come from quite rich, white backgrounds. i had a huge anxiety attack and am seriously considering not going through with this job.

i cannot describe the amount of rejection and shame i felt in that room, being completely ignored by these younger people who all know each other and have worked together for years. the fact that i wouldn’t just be a cashier but would have to work very closely with these kids and feel this excluded and out of place for 40 hours every week for 3 months straight has made me have an ocd relapse.

i am struggling not to feel like a weakling and a failure, but i’m afraid i simply cannot work in such a socially intense environment. i’m struggling not to feel so much shame and guilt about needing a specific work environment to be comfortable with, notably one that’s remote and where my tasks can be done solo or as solo as possible.

i need some advice. i’m pretty certain i will email my boss (who’s only a few years older than me and was surprised someone my age with my level of education wanted the job when he interviewed me, but i thought that was unfounded at the time… i should’ve listened) and apologetically explain why i can’t move forward in the position.

in the grand scheme of things, 3 months of minimum wage income is not life-changing. i am lucky enough to live with family that can survive my not being able to contribute as much financially these coming months until i get my grant and loan for the master’s as my savings are dwindling, and they are supportive of me choosing whichever option will benefit my mental health. the problem is me, i can’t shake this guilt but i also don’t think it is wise to risk a work environment that makes me so intensely anxious and uncomfortable.

what do you think? and thank you if you took the time to read my long-winded rant, sending you love and peace 💛

tl;dr = a new full-time short-term work environment is very challenging to my social anxiety due to my being much older than the people i would have to work closely with and their standoffishness and exclusion of me because of my age and ethnic/financial background. this has caused me to have the biggest ocd attack i’ve had in over a year. is it worth it to work in this environment or should i try to find something else?