u/bovinejabronie

So I wrapped up today so how well it worked is still pending but here are some things I learned along the way that could help anyone doing the accelerated program.

If you have ever sat for a long tattoo session just treat each day like that. I felt wiped out after day 1, kind of had needle shock feeling that I get after a long sit in a tattoo chair. I used that for how I’d treat days 2-5.

Fruit smoothies for breakfast. Easy to digest, boost of energy and vitamins.

Candy. I ate a bunch of candy. Sour patch kids, peach rings and peanut butter m&ms. I snacked like crazy between sessions. Kept my blood sugar up and I fucking love candy so it was guilt free considering what I was doing.

Chew gum. My jaw was going crazy, a fresh piece of gum for each session helped so much.

Stay hydrated.

Take a nap after if you need it. I hate naps. They feel like a waste to me. I napped almost everyday after because of how wiped out I felt.

Give yourself grace and don’t compare how it is for you to how anyone else has felt. I hit the dip hardcore with 1 day of 7 sessions left. That scared the shit out of me because it wasn’t when it’s “supposed” happen. My last 7 sessions today pulled me out of it.

The most important thing is this. Be proud of yourself. You’re trying to get better. Even just looking into this is a step towards better health. Every step after that, the calling about a consult, going to a consult, going to your first appointment is you wanting to get well. I’m pretty fucking proud of myself for finishing this. Frankly I don’t remember the last time where I felt pride on my own.

I begin accelerated TMS on Monday morning. I had my consultation and mapping yesterday, called out of work for the week and I hope this works.

I’ve been dealing with depression for the better part of 20 years. I’ve tried countless medication, therapists and doctors. A few years ago I was out on Wellbutrin and it did a pretty decent job. If the worst depression I’ve had was a 10 the Wellbutrin brought it to a 5 and I was ok with that. A few weeks ago it fully stopped working.

I’m really going TMS works for me. If not I’m not really sure what options I have left in life. I’m so beyond tired of having to live with this.

An anti-Yosemite.

Sometimes I wonder if my apprentice is out there acting gay with someone else during the weekend. I get worried that when Monday rolls back around he won’t want to anymore because he found someone gayer.

So new apprentices, please remember who your gay loyalty is to.