u/brakkovet

After IVF to conceive my son, I'm not physically able to carry another pregnancy safely. We have two frozen embryos remaining, and I'm struggling to know what the best choice is.

I love seeing what a fun, cool little kid my son is. I want to give the other embryos that chance, but the last thing I would ever want is for them to grow up feeling unwanted. Surrogacy feels unethical to me for different reasons.

Has anyone been in a situation where there is unlimited contact with the bio family and are geographically close? Shared family vacations, holidays, etc and being open about the donation? And being sure that the adopting family share similar family/parenting values and are financially able to provide for the child, etc.

I feel like this is the only situation I would be comfortable with, until the child is old enough to express the kind of relationship/contact they prefer. Basically like creating an extension to each other's families?

Any insights or perspectives? If it is what's best for the embryos, I would be comfortable donating to research or having the clinic destroy them. But I also don't want to make that decision without fully grasping all options and understanding long term outcomes. Thanks in advance.

Looking for recommendations from like-minded people. Hoping to find something to listen to in the car with my 18 month old that will provide more language/topic engagement than the brain numbing AI slop that's taking over music streaming.

Podcast recommendations that either 1) are light hearted but educational/interesting (topic doesn't matter) or 2) early educational/parenting (mostly for me).

The last podcast I binged was Bible Stories for Heathen Children which was great fun for cultural literacy (it's me, I'm the Heathen Children).

My 17 month old is full force big feelings. Problem is when he doesn't like something he acts out physically.

Example: I don't let him grab my phone, he screams at my face and slaps me.

Or: changing his diaper he pinches the crap out of my arms

I realize this is developmentally appropriate. That he feels frustration but has no ability to mitigate his responses.

But also I'm not going to get slapped. I usually grab his hands, say "NO, I can't let you hurt me" and redirect. I've tried pinching back once or twice when I can't escape. No dice. I often can't remove myself from the situation or disengage from him (ie: he's on the changing table with a poopy butt).

Any suggestions for when he's acting like a complete butt knuckle?