u/bronze_by_gold

My wife and I are currently a week into an 18 day Holland America cruise with our 3yo daughter and my parents, and we're not exactly enjoying it.

Of course someone is going to point out that this was predictable. Holland America is not known to be a family-focused cruise line, but believe me... it didn't use to be this bad. I used to go on Holland America cruises with my family as a tween and teen in the mid 2000s, and while it wasn't exactly exciting, there used to be outdoor playgrounds with hammocks and spaces to hang out or play, and I remember ship-wide treasure hunts with teens running all over the ship searching for objects that begin with ever letter of the alphabet. (When I was about 13, me and a few other teens, won the treasure hunt by convincing a medical technician in the sick bay to give us what they claimed was a piece of "X-ray" film -- probably just a piece of plastic -- to win the treasure hunt with the final missing letter.) It felt like a more serious type of cruise, with a focus on actual travel, but there was stuff for all ages to do on board. My family actually had some brand loyalty to Holland America back in the day. All told, I've probably been on 7 or 8 Holland America ships in my life. I remember that part of my childhood as a really fun time.

Not anymore. I can't believe how bad it is now. Their kids programming is worse than most daycares. Just a mostly-empty room with a person whose main jobs seems to be to keep kids safe and minimally entertained so parents can get a break. This is clearly a choice to disinvest.

Holland America's whole value proposition seems to be worse now too. Their passengers are older. The musical acts are barely passible as entertainment. The food is increasingly bland with little diversity of flavors, and the quality varies widely. Some excellent food, to be fair, but some of the deserts wouldn't be sent out at Applebee’s. The entertainment even for adults seems more focused on selling you shit than anything else. And mind you, this is not an entry-level cruise. It's priced as a solidly mid-tier option.

We're not big on cruising anyway, but it is a convenient option for travel with older parents. And we're really not at all into the tacky characters and all the rest of the nonsense that goes on with Disney ships. Royal Caribbean looks fun, but the quality of the food seems not great, and as huge foodies, that would be a dealbreaker for us. So I'm not sure where that leaves us. If we go on another cruise in the future I think we'll try Celebrity ships. From what we've read online they seem to have at least put some thought into their kids programming. But yeah, we're so done with Holland America.

I just got some kind of spam email trying to sell me Hinoki cutting boards. In the email they say:

“Hinoki is a dense and fragrant Japanese softwood in the cedar family, with very strong anti-microbial properties.”

Does that make any sense in terms of material science? I thought softwoods were by definition less dense? I’ve heard Hinoki described as hard, light, soft, dense, etc., often all in the same sentence. It seems very unclear what exactly are the verifiable properties of this wood that supposedly make it both durable and easy on knife edges, although anecdotally I will say it “feels” both soft and dense.

What’s is the reality here?

I don’t know what it is about going up that escalator specifically. I don’t get vertigo going down, but going up there’s an optical illusion that makes it look almost vertical despite being no steeper than any other escalator (I assume). I can’t figure out what it is about that specific escalator that does crazy things to my brain, but it’s such an intense sensation that I have to look down or close my eyes.

Does anyone have a Google Sheet of ingredients that are easier to bring in from the US? I know Costco in Taiwan has a lot of things, but some ingredients are still easier to bring in…

We're (M37, F35, and 3yo daughter) planning the following itinerary:

• Fly into San José on November 27th (1 night)
• Rent a 4x4 and drive to Uvita (5 nights)
• Drive to Matapalo, on the coast south of Puerto Jiménez (7 nights)
• Drive to San Gerardo de Dota (4 nights)
• Wake up early on the last day and drive to San José to fly home directly.

We looked into staying in Ojochal, but for one reason or another the housing options didn't seem to fit what we were looking for, so we're in Uvita instead. We're bringing paddle boards and prefer slow travel with a focus on nature and outdoor activities. I know that last drive from Puerto Jiménez up to San Gerardo de Dota is pretty far. Not sure if I should break it up or not.

All three of us, including our daughter, are very experienced international travelers having lived in India, Mexico, Portugal, Taiwan, etc. for a substantial amount of time.

Any suggested changes? Does this sound like a good first itinerary for visiting Costa Rica?

Religious loopholes… is this how the Ixians get away with it?

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There are some older questions about this on this subreddit, but I didn't see many where research was shared in the comment section. So I'm really hoping someone can point me to research on the most effective way to handle out of control toddler "anger" and hitting.

Our toddler knows that hitting is not okay, but lately, when she has a really sever tantrum, she has started hitting me and my wife as a way to show us how angry she is. We immediately tell her in no uncertain terms that it's not okay to hit people, and we remove her from the room where she's in and tell her it's time for her to calm down and we will engage with her again when she's able to control her behavior.

She also understands how to use social engineering to try get attention or provoke a reaction. For example during a timeout she will say things like "I hurt myself" or "I'm going to pull my hair out" (and then she will actually try to do that). If we don't hold the door, she will not stay on "calm down" time but will immediately run back to whatever or whoever was the source of her tantrum / anger and the behavior continues. During her worst tantrums she really appears to be completely out of control.

In general she's a gentle kid who has age-appropriate care and empathy (to the extent that a 3yo has empathy). She has tantrums but not an extreme number of tantrums. Lately their severity seems to be getting a bit worse though. As far as we're aware she's neurotypical and is displaying the expected behaviors for a child of her age. And to be clear our toddler has never been hit by an adult (or by an older child as far as I'm aware). We set boundaries, but she's never really received any kind of consequences beyond "you're out of control and you need to stay in your room until you calm down."

Since she won't stay in her "calm down place," I'm not really sure what the options are. We're really looking for a science-based approach to managing this until she's able to develop a bit more emotional control..