u/bugtran

my [32] dysphoria has been off the charts lately, and it's largely due to my lack of body hair and the fact that top surgery is years away for me. my naked body is still so .. female. i hate it. i wish i had hair on my stomach and legs and ass. i wish i looked as masculine naked as i'm able to look clothed. i pass so well these days. but i feel horrible about myself all the time because i know that when i'm naked i am still so feminine looking, it's disgusting. i feel disgusting. it's starting to affect my desire for intimacy with my boyfriend, which i feel really guilty about/he's starting to notice. i have never struggled with my dysphoria as much as i have since the beginning of my relationship about 4 months ago. it is my first openly mlm relationship and i am feeling imposter syndrome in a huge way. i know i need to see a professional about this, but i also would appreciate any kindness or wisdom you could send my way. thank you

my [32] dysphoria has been off the charts lately, and it's largely due to my lack of body hair and the fact that top surgery is years away for me. my naked body is still so .. female. i hate it. i wish i had hair on my stomach and legs and ass. i wish i looked as masculine naked as i'm able to look clothed. i pass so well these days. but i feel horrible about myself all the time because i know that when i'm naked i am still so feminine looking, it's disgusting. i feel disgusting. it's starting to affect my desire for intimacy with my boyfriend, which i feel really guilty about/he's starting to notice. i have never struggled with my dysphoria as much as i have since the beginning of my relationship about 4 months ago. it is my first openly mlm relationship and i am feeling imposter syndrome in a huge way. i know i need to see a professional about this, but i also would appreciate any kindness or wisdom you could send my way. thank you

tw nfsw and anatomy talk //

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i'm 32, been on hrt injections 2.5 years, levels within normal range throughout that time.

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i'm so deeply unsatisfied with my body. i have an hourglass figure and no body hair to speak of. top surgery is years away, and bottom surgery is out of the question. i just want to look like a man when i'm naked. i don't even care about having a penis so much as i wish i was hairy. i wish i didn't have tits.

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i pass so regularly now too which makes me feel even worse, like i'm being ungrateful for what testosterone has done for me.

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my dysphoria is making it hard to exist on a day-to-day because all i feel is jealousy and resentment toward other guys all the time. and i feel like i don't belong in any queer communities while my emotions are out of control like this, which has me feeling extremely isolated.

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i also have complicted feelings about using my front hole for sex because i genuinely like it but i also hate that it even exists

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this is a disorganized mess but i needed to get these feelings out, i'm sorry