u/c6h12o6ph

Calling out to the ladies dating younger men... I need your advice and feedback please.

I am 47F- I'm closing my eyes and I will try to meet somebody so much younger. I have so much anxiety wrapped around this meet up. One of the reasons I said yes- he has been following me on stream for a long time. He is travelling to see me and I don't have the heart to say I can't. A part of me is skeptical about this because what if these young men now are just really good at sweet talking and I don't want to be some kind of challenge that they need to complete.

In the real world, when you interact with people in the wilds - in your profession, in business or generally around you, do you feel it when somebody finds you attractive? Or a person who says that is just being narcissistic?

47F. It's been a long time since I agreed to a real 1st date.

1st dates used to be - hotel lounge, real dinner or very casual coffee meet ups. I can't recall a casual lunch 1st meet up date.

Now I'm wondering, is he just a bored non-local that's why he is not too invested on a first date? Or is very casual lunch date a normal thing and i'm just out dated or is this his way of saying he is not too interested? When he sent the link of where we would go... Call me a jerk but i'm having second thoughts about going.

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date update

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I am an anxious jerk LOL.

He turned out to be a really nice guy, this morning he made sure I was ok, asked me if the location was accessible to me and if not I can pick another place, since he is non local he just picked whichever was closest.

I picked a more convenient place for parking - unfortunately the place that was usually quiet... ( i didn't realize I never go to those places lunch time) ....ugh levels noise. So conversation was hard.

After we parted ways, he told me he wanted to spend more time and that he really just intended for it to be a short hi and hello to feel each other out.

47F and recently trying OLD again. I don't want to be racist and biased but it's just my tough luck that my current and past encounters with European men really gives me this uncomfortable feeling. They would start, funny, expressive , sweet ... then at some point comments keep being laced with negative words, like a person who keeps calling me tonta for whatever reason. At first I was going to let it go as his expression but the thing is- I'm really not comfortable with it and I also don't want to get used to that kind of language around me.

When I told him, I prefer to stop communicating and explained why, he laughed it off that it's normal. That I should get used to sarcasm and that in Europe they even talk to their mother's that way.

47F. Some months back I decided I give up on this dating thing, it's too stressful and I am ok being alone. But lately I have that feeling again that I want to feel close to another person. Ideally I want someone monogamous, long term, committed. But I do understand that you can't just meet a person and then decide that same day that both of you are monogamous+ long term + committed.

So, I've been thinking- date again.

There's this friend I mentioned in another thread who's always available for me. He is kind of ok- it's just that there are some things about his personality that I'm really not too happy about. 1. he gambles 2. he is not the type of guy who leads or at least when with me he just pretty much let's me choose anything. Given that I already know what I don't like about him and we already previously dated- is there still a point to date him again? Or should I just focus on finding new people?

Here's the scenario. You're in your late 40's in a long term LDR with someone beautiful. Rich. The only catch, she is short tempered and can be really mean and you loved her for morr than half your life.

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You have a friend she is sweet. Nice. Kind. You enjoy her presence but she is nowhere near as beautiful as your gf. She is also not rich.

Just looking back . When I was still with this ex- we made plans to take our bikes to the top of a certain mountain. A few months after that we had some fights, broke up. We went into no contact. After 6 months I received a photo from him- with his bike on that spot where we were supposed to go.

:( That moment crushed me . I did not reply I just cried the whole day.

Was he being toxic or am I the weirdo for crying about it?

I have a gay friend. He is crazy about a straight guy in our group. He is straight and married. They are very close, my friend loves him and the straight guy treats him like he is really special but... Nothing. My friend tells me that he is ok with the way things are and he does not expect anything.

If I was in a similiar situation, iI don't think I can. II don't think I can stay close and keep on falling without expecting him to be mine. I would rather just stay away and cut it. Or if I can stop and not fall... Then ok I'd dtay friends.

Can you be in that situation?

There's this person I'm interested in. He is a friend of my friend and I just met him recently in person. She tells me that he is - separated. But somebody else who met him (not a his friend) and she mentioned the "wife, "ex wife" . So, I looked up their social media... and she seems to be still employed in the guy's company. She still has his photos , even if the family photos are old. In his Social media, it's just him and work stuff. And no, I don't want to ask him yet because we're not yet close.

If you're in his situation would you keep this kind of arrangement? Not co-habiting but co-working & co-parenting?

Last night I asked my friend (used to be an old fwb) to hang with me at a friend"s bar ( just a friend not fwb) It was really fun reconnecting.

After the event he asked me to leave my car there and ask to go for a drive in his car. He's still fun to be with, he is still fairly attractive but ofcourse not like when we were both younger- i should not complain I aged too.

When, I realized we were going to an area with a string of hotels i laughed and joked - 'you're seriously not taking me there right?' And he was going on and on about missing the old times the whole time he was holding my hand. We were circling the block a few times. And i had a few different variations of no and he drove us back to where we parked- when he leaned in for a kiss i just went for the cheek kiss.

Ages ago i would have enjoyed this. Said yes. I was buzzed with wine and beer it should have been easier to say yes than no.

I just went home and slept.

If you're in a situationship and you find yourself wNting more, do you open the topic or do you wait for the other person or do you respect the 'agreement' and keep it as it is even if it starts to hurt?

Have you ever encountered catfish? Do you also have the same impression as I did that this photo is not legit?

https://preview.redd.it/6jx0bqaz1hzg1.png?width=750&format=png&auto=webp&s=a2dc21eeb47009c1753530d32e385177057c8828

Scenario 1: You meet a woman you like (online or irl) She has most of tge traits that you like, you alreafy exprrssed your interest, do you message her everyday?

Scenario 2. You tell a woman that at this point you akready stopped talking with other women and she's practically the only person you call other thatn your oarents. Do you message her everyday?

Scenario 3: you're already dating. You think she's the one, do you message her everyday?

Kwarentahin

single/ separated

Matino- healthy, semi healthy lifestyle

Maayos- stable job/ stable business.

I know traits above can not be generalized because of personality differences, an athletic person may hangout at different places compared to tech geeks, religious people may hang at different places from party goes.

But that's the thing do people our age just go to places specific to our hobbies?

47F. Now self aware.

There's this on and off person I chat with for more than 5 years now. I always think and complain that he is avoidant and cold. When I get to that line of thought I get really frustrated and we end up arguing and we stop talking.

We are recently chatting again and every time we reconnect it feels nice- 1st because he is familiar, 2nd he is a genuinely nice guy . Anyway this morning I was listening to a random podcast and when the speaker described toxic conversations- it was like a slap in the face for me.

All this time no wonder my friend acted cold sometimes, it was those times when I was being manipulative (and I was not aware- until now)