u/caffeine0717

im 🇯🇵, grew up in the midwest, my parents completed their education and married before moving to the us. i was luckily in a good area and didnt face much overt or violent racism, but due to a small area i didnt grow up as part of any wider asian american community

im in california for college (not an asian area more hispanic) but i know a lot of the asian american students here grew up in asian dominant areas of california

idk this all reminded me of this one post one i believe socal girl made that basically went: if an east asian is attractive but doesnt act like theyre attractive, they just grew up in the midwest. hey so what does this mean???

hi freshman just got here tried to go the gender neutral bathroom and flipped the light switch about four separate times. didnt do shit. do i need to wait for the door to close all the way? is the light just evil? curious

i dont really pass as anything but usually if i say actually im a dude sorry everyones like ah alright. and that very much was my plan for college, to kinda stealth whilst taking hrt. i know its internalized transphobia or something but i do not enjoy being trans. the whole situation makes me mad. i really dont want anyone to know definitively what i was before or what my body has to be.

my mom knows but my dad doesnt and he wanted to come help me move in. i have a single room and i figured id just subtly prevent him from saying something like this since hes not very social to begin with. but another freshman on my floor approached my room while the door was open and my dad was in the hallway and he told the kid his "daughter" lives in that room.

its just me in that room. now this random kid who knows my name and which room im in thinks im a girl and is on my floor. i still plan to use the communal mens restroom to shower and whatnot. i wont do anything unless this causes an issue but im just stressed man

my best idea ive got so far is if the kid finds me again to tell him my dads ESL (because he is) and just got the words mixed up. they heard my dads accent, but i still think theyd assume im a trans guy even after i clear stuff up because of the triple combination of how i look, how i sound, and this interaction they had with my dad

anyone got any better ideas?

also: dont want anyone i know to accidentally find this post so after i get some feedback ill probably delete this

my first name is 1. not english and im in an english speaking country and 2. actually gender neutral. so thats all whatever im not gonna change that

i was given an english middle name that is gendered and was taken from a book title, and my mom gave the go ahead to change that later in life id like. no ones particularly attached to this name.

so this book is a fucking autobiography on this guy and his wifes journey with cancer. i was thinking hmm i wonder if theres other names from this book that will work as a middle name no. actually there really isnt.

my one idea for a middle name from this book is the full first name of the author, and the author goes by a shortened version of the name so its a subtle reference and the name rolls of the tongue well

main thing is that this name ^ in question is the exact first name of my friends father. and is also the exact first name of another unrelated friends ex boyfriend. i mentioned this jokingly to the first friend and he was like dude. dont name yourself that

two possible shortened versions of this name arent really something i like as my potential middle name, the first (which is what the author uses) sounds like a name in the language of my first name and i kinda like the asian first name white middle name i have going on bc i feel like most asian american families dont really do that. the second just sounds really fucking transgender and i will probably immediately be asked if i stole it from a tv show

i dont really care about this that badly all things considered but i was curious if anyone else had ever been in a similar situation when it comes to changing their name, would you just go for it?

(also: i dont like talking about being trans and im often paranoid someone will find my posts so ill likely delete this once it gets a few responses)

im very new to both uc merced and living in a dorm environment/with other people in general, so i would like to not run into that many people or have to wait around to shower for that long, i dont care at all if all the "reasonable" times to shower are taken i can work around that thanks 👍