u/callme_orame

I just got diagnosed with HIV, and boy oh boy. Life does come at you fast.

Since I found out (yesterday), almost everyone I’ve spoken to (mainly doctors tbh) has told me some version of “it’s not the end of the world.” I know they’re trying to reassure me, the thing is, I already knew that.

I just finished studying microbiology, and I took medical virology last semester. I know how HIV works. I know about ART. I know what being undetectable means. I know that with proper treatment, people living with HIV can have long and healthy lives.

I knew all of this before I got my diagnosis.

But having it become your reality is really something man.

Right now, I’m struggling with the fact that this is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I’m trying to process what it means for my relationships, telling people, and just how I see myself going forward.

And honestly, I’m also thinking about dating.

My dating pool was already pretty small. Now I have to add HIV-positive to the equation, and suddenly it feels like it has gotten a whole lot smaller. I know there are people who will accept me. I know there are other people living with HIV who have healthy relationships and good sex lives and all.

But right now, I'm just scared, what of idek.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's where my head is at.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me “it’s not the end of the world.” I know it isn't. I’m just trying to come to terms with the fact that this is my reality now.

If you’re living with HIV, especially if you remember what the first few days or weeks after your diagnosis felt like, I’d really appreciate hearing from you, tryna find community.

I just got diagnosed with HIV, and boy oh boy. Life does come at you fast.

Since I found out (yesterday), almost everyone I’ve spoken to (mainly doctors tbh) has told me some version of “it’s not the end of the world.” I know they’re trying to reassure me, the thing is, I already knew that.

I just finished studying microbiology, and I took medical virology last semester. I know how HIV works. I know about ART. I know what being undetectable means. I know that with proper treatment, people living with HIV can have long and healthy lives.

I knew all of this before I got my diagnosis.

But having it become your reality is really something man.

Right now, I’m struggling with the fact that this is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I’m trying to process what it means for my relationships, telling people, and just how I see myself going forward.

Nigerians aren't also the most learned wen it comes to things like this and it also bothers me.

And tbh, I’m also thinking about dating.

My dating pool was already pretty small as a bisexual man. Now I have to add HIV-positive to the equation, and suddenly it feels like it has gotten a whole lot smaller. I know there are people who will accept me. I know there are other people living with HIV who have healthy relationships and good sex lives and all.

But right now, I'm just scared, what of idek.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's where my head is at.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me “it’s not the end of the world.” I know it isn't. I’m just trying to come to terms with the fact that this is my reality now.

If you’re living with HIV, especially if you remember what the first few days or weeks after your diagnosis felt like, I’d really appreciate hearing from you, tryna find community.

I just got diagnosed with HIV, and boy oh boy. Life does come at you fast.

Since I found out (yesterday), almost everyone I’ve spoken to (mainly doctors tbh) has told me some version of “it’s not the end of the world.” I know they’re trying to reassure me, the thing is, I already knew that.

I just finished studying microbiology, and I took medical virology last semester. I know how HIV works. I know about ART. I know what being undetectable means. I know that with proper treatment, people living with HIV can have long and healthy lives.

I knew all of this before I got my diagnosis.

But having it become your reality is really something man.

Right now, I’m struggling with the fact that this is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I’m trying to process what it means for my relationships, telling people, and just how I see myself going forward.

And honestly, I’m also thinking about dating.

My dating pool was already pretty small as a bisexual man. Now I have to add HIV-positive to the equation, and suddenly it feels like it has gotten a whole lot smaller. I know there are people who will accept me. I know there are other people living with HIV who have healthy relationships and good sex lives and all.

But right now, I'm just scared, what of idek.

Maybe that sounds dramatic, but that's where my head is at.

I’m not looking for someone to tell me “it’s not the end of the world.” I know it isn't. I’m just trying to come to terms with the fact that this is my reality now.

If you’re living with HIV, especially if you remember what the first few days or weeks after your diagnosis felt like, I’d really appreciate hearing from you, tryna find community.

so I'm working on something about religion and Christian universities and I'm curious about what happened to your faith AFTER you left. did you get more religious? or nah

tbh I was very religious before i got into uni (a Christian uni) myself and I'm not anymore, so this one's personal for me too

I'm specifically curious about Muslims who went to one of these Christian schools. what was it like for you?

And current students who are over it but don't have a choice or maybe even people who became more religious because of uni.

drop a comment or dm me if this is you, would love to actually talk in length lol

I’ve been trying to find Nigerians abroad for work, where I basically interview Nigerians living outside the country and ask them questions about how they relocated (see past editions here). One thing I’ve noticed during my search is how everybody is now a “Japa coach”.

Everywhere you turn now, somebody is selling a relocation masterclass, consultation, CV package, visa mentorship, Telegram group, “secret route”, etc.

And maybe it’s just me, but some of the prices are insane 😭

Like, I understand people monetising knowledge, but sometimes it feels like people are taking advantage of how desperate and confused a lot of Nigerians are right now, especially because half the time, the information is either publicly available already or came from another random person’s Twitter thread.

I even saw somebody charging for “hidden European countries Nigerians don’t know about” 😭 what's that about?

It just made me realise how deeply capitalistic and exploitative Nigerians can be, especially when we're in a seemingly better situation than before; we barely hear enough from normal people who actually relocated successfully without all this packaging around it.

So abeg, if you moved from Nigeria to somewhere abroad, whether recently or a long time ago (preferably outside the US cos of Uncle Trump and ICE issues), through school, work, skilled visa, Opportunity Card, etc, I’d honestly like to hear how you did it. You can be anonymous if you want to : )

I’m mostly just trying to hear real experiences without all the guru stuff attached to it.

Drop a comment or just fill out this form, and I’ll reach out. Thank ya!!!