Hello! I’m about to start my first day at vans soon and I was just wondering. Do I have to come in with van shoes because I don’t own any and I can’t afford to buy a pair yet. I read that they will give me shoes when I come in so is it okay to come in with my other shoes even if they are a different brand? Thanks!!
Hi guys this is my first post so sorry if I accidentally break any rules. I’m a 20 year old female and 7 months ago my father went through my phone in the middle of the night and found out I had a boyfriend and he saw private pictures of me. When I woke up he told me that he booked me a flight to Syria for a week because my mother was dying and I had to say my goodbyes. I was confused, worried, and I had a terrible feeling about going but I thought why would they lie about my mother dying so suddenly. When I arrived to Syria, I was confused because she seemed fine and when everyone started to act different and my dad stopped talking to me I felt panic and was left anxious.
On the day I was supposed to leave I was awaken by my grandma and mother. My phone and passport were taken away and I was forced to stay in Syria for 6 agonizing months. I was told by my mother that she would have fathered me k*ll myself then shame the family.I had nothing to distract me nor anyone to talk and I was just stuck home with my thoughts. I became depressed and attempted to end my life many times. I was forced to go to the mosque and take Islamic lessons to try to get me back onto the “deen”. I went on the fall break of my college semester and I ended up failing classes and losing my scholarship because I never came back. They withdrew me out of college and sent a breakup test to my bf pretending to be me so he would stop calling them and the police asking about me.
After 6 months, they said I can come back after I pass a virginity test and if I didn’t take it I couldn’t go back. Even after I was crying and begging them that I didn’t want to be touched by the doctor and have them watch her do the test on me, I was told “so a doctor can’t touch you but your bf can”. If I failed the virginity test they were gonna try to find someone to try and “revirginfy” me through surgery. Well because virginity tests are inaccurate and not scientifically proven the doctor after sticking two fingers inside me told them that she couldn’t fully tell but she thinks that I am not and only then was I able to come back.
This whole situation made me feel so weak and helpless. Not knowing when I would come back, if I was going to be forced into marriage, or what would have happened to me if I failed. I couldn’t get any help there and when I tried the first thing I was asked was if I was still a virgin or I was told to not do anything against my parents because they are still my family. I felt defeated and when I came back I realized that I had no one other than my bf to notice that I was gone or missing and that I was just a ghost. That absolutely destroyed me because whenever I wanted to end it I thought about how it might affect others around me but after seeing that it just feels like eventually life moves on for everyone.
After I came back I reconnected with my boyfriend and I decided to move in with him. I wrote a letter and just left. I knew that my family would never except me leaving Islam and that if I didn’t leave I’d be stuck wearing the hijab, not being able to drive or work, and have no privacy or a phone that wasn’t controlled by them. I don’t regret leaving because being able to feel the wind and sun on my hair and shoulders feels so great. I love being able to dress how I want and able to go out places and go to the gym. The thing is even after all they did I still feel guilty for leaving them, especially my little brother who I have such a close bond with. I want to be able to see my family again I still love them so much I just want them to accept me and love me no matter if I’m Muslim or not. But this is something my father may never accept. But I don’t mind because for the first time I feel like I have control over my life. I don’t want to ever feel vulnerable like that again.
So if anyone who experienced something like this or just anyone can you please tell me how to not feel guilty for leaving. How everything will be okay because I’m scared I won’t be able to carry my own weight. If you read through all of this I really appreciate the time you took to listen. Please share your own experiences and how it’s going now.