Am I unreasonable for not sleep training
My daughter is one year old and what I have been calling a “high sensory input sleeper”. She spent her first year in a bassinet then cradle. Since the day she was born she has only slept through the night twice. For the first year she was up 5-12 times a night, needing to bf to go back to sleep most times. For every nap and bedtime she needs heavy rocking and she vocal stims, and it usually takes 15min+ (sometimes closer to an hour at bedtime). Finally at a year we started to practice safe cosleeping. She still stirs 3-5 times a night now and will usually have latch herself to get herself back asleep - I don’t think fully awake probably just stirring. Occasionally she will go back with a shush and some pats but usually that just wakes her more. (She is getting about 11-12 good hours now, and is far ahead of all her milestones so the dr says it seems like she’s getting enough sleep). She sleeps the whole night with one body part touching both my partner and I each. She also sleeps much better with contact naps. Without she wakes in about 20 mins and can’t get back down. All this combined with some other behaviors when awake (hates stroller, car seat, and carrier, always wants to be held or in a lap, some other things) makes me believe she probably is very high on the scale of needing a lot of sensory input and a “Velcro baby”.
When I talk to other parents I know with babies or who have older children, they don’t sound like they have anywhere near as hard a time with sleep - even long before any sort of sleep training they fall asleep pretty easily and on their own and wake maybe 1-2 times and fall back with a gentle pat and sush.
Yet the conversation always centers around me having my no cry it out boundaries because I’m just extreme. Even my partner has been pretty angry with me, blaming me specifically for the lack of sleep. (I have done all nights since about 3 months bc of this). In my instincts and knowing my daughter I just feel like her need for touch and co-regulation is a genuine physical need akin to hunger - and I don’t feel comfortable as a caretaker not meeting a physical need of my baby.
For context, my hard line with my child is no cry it out and nothing where a bonded caretaker doesn’t respond to her cries for help. I have searched high and low and am pretty certain I have tried literally every single other method, hint, tip and trick that exists. From schedule, to intense activity before bed, to sleeping in another room while my non-bf partner tries to put her down - even to eating a bit of butter before bed - we’ve tried it all!
Anyways, I’m wondering if anyone has had a similar experience with their child and if my circle of friends is right - am I being unreasonable?