u/chabis_dude

I've been playing FFXIV actively for around 10 years. I've raided throughout multiple expansions, cleared every Ultimate on release, and spend most of my gaming time in XIV. Yet one thing has always been surprisingly difficult for me: finding genuine male friends.

Before anyone asks, I know the obvious answer is "join an FC." The thing is, I don't really enjoy FC culture, which is why I run my own solo FC instead. That part isn't likely to change.

What I'm looking for isn't just people to clear content with. I've had plenty of static groups over the years, but a static isn't necessarily a friend group. You're all there because you share the same goal and schedule. Once raid is over, everyone goes back to their own in-game lives.

What I miss is having a group of bros to just log on with. Running roulettes, chatting in VC, farming random content, doing treasure maps, hanging out, or just wasting time together because you enjoy each other's company.

Ironically, I've found it much easier to become friends with women in this game than with men.

The problem is that I'm in a committed relationship, and out of respect for that, I don't really want to spend lots of one-on-one time bonding with female players. Mixed groups are completely different and something I'm totally comfortable with, but constantly having mostly female friendships isn't really what I'm looking for.

On the other hand, a lot of the male players I meet seem to disappear the moment there's female attention involved. It often feels like they're more interested in chasing an e-kitten than building lasting friendships with other guys. Obviously this isn't everyone, but I've run into this pattern often enough that it's become frustrating.

And then there's the other side of it. Sometimes you do meet someone who's interested in becoming friends, but either your personalities don't click, or they're incredibly quick to rage over the smallest inconvenience, making it hard to build a long-term friendship.

Maybe I'm just getting unlucky, but after 10 years it genuinely feels harder than it should be to find normal guys who simply want to game together without drama, ulterior motives, or constantly revolving around female attention.

Does anyone else feel like this, or has your experience been completely different?

the thing is, after the expedition reset the cheaters are running rampant again.

the amount of level 0 and 1 steam accounts in aggressive lobbies is actually insane. profiles looking like they were generated by a broken vending machine. one game owned, 2 friends, zero history, but somehow they move like they got recruited into esports at birth.

and before the “skill issue” crowd arrives, i literally test my lobbies sometimes.

i hide in random corners of the map where there is NOTHING. no poi, no extract, no loot route, no reason for any normal player to ever go there unless they accidentally disconnected from reality.

sometimes i even stash valuables there just to see what happens.

and magically you get players sprinting in from different directions straight toward my little goblin cave in the middle of narnia like i activated a gps tracker for unemployed wallhackers.

its honestly hilarious watching cheaters play against other cheaters too. suddenly both of them start acting weird as hell. stopping randomly. staring at walls. fake repositioning. crouch spamming behind rocks. its like two raccoons trying to rob each other while pretending to be stealthy.

and some of the aimbotting is so insanely snappy i genuinely dont understand how anti cheat doesnt instantly detect it. some guys flick like their mouse is connected directly to nasa satellites. snapping from target to target like a microwave on max power.

i am a heavy pvp focused player in basically every shooter i touch. Apex Legends, Escape from Tarkov, Battlefield and more. i dont mind dying. i dont mind losing fights. if someone catches me looting or just straight up outplays me, gg.

years of pvp games gave me thick skin.

but arc right now feels less like pvpve and more like a containment zone for people who cant function without wallhacks.

and now they are even downplaying into friendly lobbies to abuse cheats against low level players resetting after expedition. so now you dont even get real pvp anymore. no proper fights. no normal rats. just blatant cheaters farming easy kills.

every round i encounter them now. every single round.

sure, sometimes you can outsmart them because most cheaters have the awareness of a microwaved potato and fully rely on their software. but eventually you hit a wall because surprise surprise, fighting someone with legal xray vision is hard.

and thats the real issue. its not gear fear. its not losing fights.

losing your stuff to legit players is fine. thats the game.

losing your entire kit because some steam level 1 account with one owned game tracked you through 4 buildings like a heat seeking missile is just exhausting.

right now aggressive lobbies feel like trying to play hide and seek against someone who removed all the walls from their game files.

its borderline unplayable.