u/champagnemammii

Just curious if he has any openers/did he come out at 8? Seeing him in Baltimore soon and just wanted to know :)

I wouldn’t exactly call my MIL one from hell but I am having issues with the lack of boundaries lately. I’ve been with my husband for almost 7 years now (married for 1 year) and I’ve never really had any issues with my MIL or FIL. They do mean well most of the time but recently it’s gotten annoying.

I’m 26F and my husband is 27M and we just recently bought a house. I feel like my MIL has so much to say about all the things that need to be fixed. It’s like every time they come over she’s always pointing out something and it’s like geez we know. We can’t fix everything at once lol. We had a minor plumbing issue and she kept texting me to ask if I had called a plumber yet. Like no….I was busy at work and did the following day. Once the plumber came she called my husband to see what they had said (they found nothing besides a smell which we knew about) and she lists like 5 different things to do. My husband was kind of getting annoyed because she talks to us like we are clueless children (and I’ve pretty much been on my own since 18) and she goes “Don’t roll your eyes at your mommy” that gave me such an ick 😭😭 Also why do you care so much about this plumbing issue if you’re not paying and you don’t live here???

Also since buying our house I feel like she’s been asking a lot more about our finances which I don’t like. Asking how much something costs is one thing but scolding us about the price/how we spend our money is another. It’s not even like we are irresponsible (my job is also in finance) but I don’t want to be told what to spend money on. For example we bought a house that had old gross carpet and baseboard heaters that we wanted replaced. So my husband ripped everything out and then called a junk company to pick everything up for like $250. She told us to “never do that again” because it was a waste of money. Like the trash company can’t take it all because it’s too much stuff….what else were we supposed to do?? I don’t like being told what to do in general but especially not our own money we earn.

My husband’s brother already had the first grandchild (thank God) but lately my MIL’s new thing has been “okay now that you have a house you need to start having babies!” like excuse me? She has made comments like that on multiple occasions and me and my husband have both said “we don’t want kids right now”. It makes me feel like she’s just bored and wants another grandchild lol. And what if we were struggling to get pregnant? I want to say that to her the next time she tells me to have a baby because it’s nobody’s business and what if we do have fertility issues lol like you never know.

I do love her but she is too much sometimes and there are not good boundaries in place. Even though both of her kids are married/moved out she still treats them like children. It’s just frustrating always being offered unsolicited opinions/advice especially about our house. I have talked to my husband and he supports how I feel but we don’t really know how to instill clear boundaries since saying stuff to her doesn’t seem to work.

Other details I think are relevant: she doesn’t have any friends aside from her sisters and her marriage with my FIL is dysfunctional. They are more like friends but he talks to her very disrespectfully. I think these reasons could also be why she’s so invested in both of her son’s lives and I feel bad but like take matters into your own hands? I just wish she wasn’t so invested in our everyday lives, and we see her at least once a week, sometimes twice. We are about 30 minutes away so there’s a good buffer but always being asked about stuff gets suffocating. My SIL has expressed to me these same type of issues but it sounds 10x worse since she has a baby. I just need help not sounding like a total bitch 😩😩