It’s almost 1pm. I’ve been here since 10am. I came in because I’ve been having trouble breathing since 5am. It feels like there’s a giant lump in my throat and it’s blocking my air way. I just got sent to zone 2 which is full of people too. My chest is burning and I’m gasping for air at times when I sit here waiting.
I just started a new job last month at an office. My hours are 8-5 Monday to Friday. When I started, I told them that I needed to come in later on Weds, June 24 as my daughter is having her grad ceremony at 9am and it’s very important that I be there. I couldn’t give them an exact time but I said it should just be a couple hours but I would keep them in the loop. They said it was totally ok. Now, I just found out that the ceremony ends at 12:30 which I could get to work by 1. I really don’t want to miss her grad ceremony. At my last job, I was there for over 5 years and I felt like sometimes I was prioritizing work and putting work first sometimes. I know that sounds bad. It’s so tough being a working mom. I know this is so silly to be nervous about telling work that it is longer than a couple hours. I just told them maybe 2 weeks ago that my dr called and I need to get a procedure done on July 13 and I need the day off but I’ll be back the next day don’t need any recovery time. I very rarely take time off or call in sick. I have a good work ethic but I’m nervous about letting them go especially since I’ve only been here for a month. I don’t have any friends here yet and I haven’t got close to anyone that I can go to ask what’s the deal about taking time off and if anyone will get upset or whatever.
My dad died 6 years ago. We shared a love of music. He sang in a barbershop chorus and so did it. Not the same one, but both of our rehearsals would be on the same night. My daughter is now 9 and she is in the school choir. They had a performance outside at a big park today.
Without getting into details, I’ve been having a really hard time lately and I’m not in a good mental place right now.
In my dream last night, I was outside with my daughter and a black and orange butterfly came and I said “oh look, it’s grandpa!” And then today right before her performance, I was sitting waiting for my daughter to come on stage. And I look to my right and I see the exact same butterfly right beside me.
I’m 36 and my husband and I have 4 kids together ages 2-13. My mom is always there for me but she does stress me out a lot and doesn’t think before she says things. I can’t explain it but she drives me crazy. His mom is an alcoholic and has been his entire life. Even now, we tell her she can’t see the kids unless she’s sober. We don’t want that around the kids. And she’s been in agreement with it for a very long time. Whenever we make plans to hang out so she can see the kids, she gets drunk instead. She starts her morning off with a few beers almost every day. But now, she has had a stroke and lost mobility on part of her body. She’s been in the hospital for about a week. I don’t know when she gets out but I think it’s soon. Because she asked if we all wanted to spend Mother’s Day with her and have a picnic. My husband said yes. I really wish he would have checked with me first. I don’t know what to do. To be honest, I just want to spend Mother’s Day with my kids, not my mom or even my mil. I always stress about Mother’s Day because I never know what to do and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by saying I don’t want to go out of my way to see anyone esp my mil who never wants to see us. I like Mother’s Day but at the same time it stresses me out too much every year.