u/cheeseburgermachine

Every waking hour is torture when i try to take it slow. I end up vomiting many times from withdrawal. So then i take a few shots, vomit that up and then try to nurse beers all day.

It was originally morning sickness but now its just constantly through the day feeling sick, vomiting and not even being able to walk around without feeling nauseous and wanting to vomit.

I do eat once a day at least. I drink Gatorlyte every morning with my pills. How the fuck do i break this vomiting cycle? I am losing my mind now.

I average around 22 or 21 drinks a day being my lowest. I try to measure shots and try to save beer tabs to help me keep count. I feel like if i could somehow get down to 16 drinks I'd be ok. But i can't seem to do it.

If i ask for benzos they will send me to medical detox so thats not an option unless i wanna miss work for a week. And i don't wanna do detox because i have responsibilities and shit i need to do. Am i fucked? Do i just need to hit the eject button and do detox again? I really don't want to.

So i think i figured out a way to not vomit. Its quite tricky. When i am sitting down, i feel like i can control myself enough to not vomit.

So what i did this morning was quickly get up, grab my liquor and shot glass, chaser, beer. Then i will measure 2 shots sitting down instead of standing up. Then i will drink those shots with a beer and electrolytes drink chaser and remain seated for about 20 mins until the effects kick in. This helped me not to vomit this morning so i hope it helps someone out there.

How the hell do i get out of this morning vomiting from withdrawal? Do any of yall have any tips? I will take 2 shots to make it go away. Is there anything else i can take? I usually just drink Gatorlyte every morning to hydrate. Tums. Haven't tried pepto. I remember i used to take dramamine to try and help the nausea but it didn't do much. I am trying to reduce but still at 23 drinks or so a day.

Every day i drink 20+ drinks for the past 5 months. I pace it throughout the day but still. I can't seem to climb down from 20. I've gotten close a few times and then ruined it.

Every morning i wake up heart racing, wanting to vomit. Constantly spitting from nausea. I eat once a day which is not nearly enough. Edibles seem to help with hunger and nausea so i eat a lot of edibles every day.

I am still functional but struggling to discern dreams from reality. I am not making any new memories. They are all scattered. I can't tell sometimes if something happened in a dream or in reality. I feel like i die every night and am reborn every morning. I feel like death is creeping in on me.

I still am too stubborn to go to detox. If i go it means I've lost the fight. And i don't want to do it again. Detox saved my ass before but i hate that is my only option out besides tapering. How long can someones soul be torn apart like this over and over again every day. I feel insane but still functional. So i just have to keep trying. Keep trying yall. Keep fighting this. Stay strong. And goodluck

This is too hard. I can't do it anymore. I'm drinking 20 or more a day and it's too much. Why can't i just be normal. I just want to be normal. I just wanna have a few for fun. But now it's work. And i can't just stop. And this is a real problem. It like I'm playing life on hard mode. And i keep self sabotage. I'm drunk af right now. And I've tried to write this about 100 times and autocorrect is fucking with it all . Fuck. I'm fucked. Fuck it. I can't even type how I'm feeling pathetic. Pathetic fucking stupid piece of shit. Thats not good. Stay optimistic. Im fine. I just need some rest. Uhhhh fuck. Why do we do this .its so dumb.

God has commanded me to drink and consume edibles. He hath spoken to me. In his infinite wisdom i will eat this pizza. I will drink until i can't. I will get high and i will go to sleep soon. Who am i to question his plans. I've accepted his plan. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done 🤣

I lay in a comfy nest on my recliner and couch rot with my dog. It is one of my favorite things to do. But i need to stop. And get back to moving forward in my life. I need to make some changes. I need to make some progress. This depression and addiction really takes its toll. But there are good moments too, like laying on the couch and watching a show with my dog and blankets.

I am 40 years old and the xray says is have 24 degree left curve from t5 to t10. From what I've read a back brace wont help me much. The doctor has recommended physical therapy. I will need to schedule some time to do that. Is there anything else i can do to prevent further damage? Any excersize or tips as i have no knowledge on this at the moment. Also it feels painful right in the center of my back now for awhile. It feels tingly and then painful. Anyone else have this pain? What can i do? Thank you.

Yall ever feel like you're not in control anymore. Like the booze is guiding you. And I'm a little control freak and i want to feel in control of what I'm doing. Am i insane. I'm mostly in control. But today not so much. Why is that? Whats wrong with me? How do i fix this? Its been 20 or more years of hard drinking and i still have no answers. They say follow a program. But then what? I follow it then what? What am i supposed to do. Ah fuck. This is depressing. I'm gonna try to watch a funny movie and sleep.

Need some advice. My wife is 40 years old with mild cerebral palsy that only effects one leg. She has always been able to walk. Ever since I met her she sometimes has lost her balance and falls down. Its pretty rare but it is now happening more often. And she knows sometimes that she will almost fall and lose her balance several times in a day.

Today she said, i almost fell down a few times. Shortly after eating lunch she got up and then fell down in the kitchen. She is ok but we are getting older and I'm very worried she is going to fall and really hurt herself permanently. She doesn't use anything to assist in walking. Wears normal flat shoes. I have recommended a cane before but she doesn't want to use one.

Is there something i can recommend or do for her to prevent these falling spells? Is it something neurological? Inner ear issues? We had her do some neuro tests in the past and they all came back ok. Its like she knows on a certain day she will fall. But most days she is ok.

Just curious, how many over 40? Whats your secret lol 😆 mine is being a hypochrondriac and trying to eat lots of supplements and drink lots of water when I've got time in withdrawal. I try to only eat fresh home cooked meals but sometimes fall off that and eat junk. Also I'm fat so that helps me when i go too hard on a night of drinking. Thc/cbd everyday. Low dose Gabapentin to ease the constant anxiety in the morning.

How far to take this? My asshole is on fire. I got left and right side pains. I can't seem to hydrate properly. I think my intestines don't wanna cooperate anymore in absorption of water. I take my b vitamins and drink my electrolytes when i wake up. I can't seem to decrease by much. My blood pressure is crazy. My anxiety even worse. I'm reliant on thc/cbd all day, everyday just to keep a cool calm attitude. I have all these other health issues that i keep at bay because why go to the doc in active withdrawal.

I'm having a good time but suffering physically. Everyday seems to get worse. And i sleep all the time. Feel like that means my body is trying to recover and I'm not allowing it cus i wake up and drink and do edibles until the suffering goes away. Anyways, just yeah fucked up and tapering not working like it used to. I need to suffer. I really do. Just so i can then stop and heal for a bit. Ugh. But its hard to do. Goodluck out there.

Ok just think about it this way, with a little humor, is i GET to suffer withdrawals.

I don't have to suffer withdrawals. I can always go grab another beer.

I GET to suffer them and so I'm sitting here thinking and rapidly decreasing my drinning while trying to do a responsible tapering. But i think wow man i can't wait to see the horrifying hallucinations i gets to see in the morning half asleep. I can't wait to feel the shaking and cold sweats.

Give me the nausea and diarrhea. I can't wait. Am i masochist now? Or am i just embracing the fucking shitty choices I've made leading up to this moment. Or am i just toxic positivity lol 😆 anyways, cant wait to not sleep and feel like shit tomorrow because i cant get adequate healthcare without paying thousands of dollars. Cheers 🍻