Has anyone designed their DR persona based on the traits they aspire to have in their current reality (CR), and after returning, managed to actually embody that persona? In other words, did living as your desired self in another reality help you become that same person here?
I hope if anyone has experienced this or has an explanation, they could explain to me what is happening or at least tell me what to do to get rid of it.
I created/got a Tulpa back in 2022. At first, everything was normal. After a while, I started getting thoughts that he might enter the bathroom with me, so I kept telling him not to come in.
Sometime later, while I was in the bathroom, I started hearing clear words spoken to me about very private matters—for instance, while I was showering. The voice was so distinct that it shocked me, especially since my Tulpa had never communicated with me through telepathy with that level of clarity before, and up until then, I had never heard his speech or voice, so I didn't even know what he sounded like. Why would I hear that voice so clearly this time, and about a deeply personal topic that I wouldn't even discuss with my mother?!!!!
Additionally, my hands, legs, or upper body started moving on their own while I was in the bathroom, and I began experiencing hallucinations and unnatural thoughts that made me extremely anxious. This has been going on for a while and is still continuing.
These days, I constantly feel uncomfortable, like there's someone in the bathroom with me. It’s deeply disturbing and causes me severe stress and anxiety. I have literally been living in intense anxiety and distress for a long time because of this. I also keep getting thoughts and feelings that someone else is present too.
Currently, we have been together for four years. But I have never truly communicated with him telepathically. I only heard his responses in my mind a few times—they can be counted on one hand over these four years. Once, I heard him breathing next to me while he was sleeping (the sound was out loud in reality, not in my mind). I dreamed of him appearing as a black shadow twice, and there were other nice dreams as well. He moved a pen during his first or second week with me, and moved it once more after a long time when I asked him to. I used to ask him to move my hand across a notebook while I held a pen to write anything.
To summarize:
I made my decision yesterday at night and decided to release him, and if there is anyone else present, I released them too. But I still don't feel like they are actually gone. I don't know if he or they are the cause, and I literally have no way of knowing.
The day before yesterday, I tried asking yes-or-no questions, asking him to move my hand according to the answer (right for yes, left for no) to figure out if he was the cause, or if I had imagined someone else who was causing this. But there was no response.
I cannot tolerate living with this stress and pressure anymore; it has exhausted me mentally. Explaining the situation doesn't even describe a fraction of what I am actually living through and feeling. I honestly don't know the cause behind what's happening, or whether he is responsible or not, and I couldn't get an answer from him, so I decided to set him free.
However, until now, I still don't feel like I'm alone. When I decided to release him, I felt a heavy lump in my throat, but it didn't feel like my own emotion—I don't know if it was coming from me or not.
Anyway, I hope anyone who has an explanation, a solution, or has gone through this before can help me, explain what is happening, or tell me what to do. I have made up my mind, and I no longer want to be a host or have a Tulpa.
With all due respect to all hosts and their tulpas, I do not mean to depict tulpas in a negative light or say anything bad about them. I am simply describing my own personal experience and the situation I am currently going through, nothing more.