u/chovihani_

I’ve read a few times on here ppl suggesting aspirin and HFCS coke on ice when you have a cold.
I’m into it but can someone explain the logic behind the coke?

I am curious for people to share their experiences with dating and when/to what extent you integrate each other into the other’s friend groups.

I know I haven’t had normal experiences bc I dated someone on and off for 9 years without ever mixing social circles, like actually completely separate, with the exception of having met each others families. Although all of my friends knew who he was, and only a couple of them had met him just once. I talked about the relationship a lot tho, told others of his achievements and idiosyncrasies in the way I do w everyone I love, I think that’s how I keep everything connected despite my penchant for compartmentalization.

I always joke that when I die it’ll be like a Laura Palmer thing w everyone putting the pieces together being like who tf is this bitch but I also seem to find others that do this same thing? I can say that for that long term relationship there was a part of me that kept it overly compartmentalized because I realized he was crazy early on and my friends who are mostly f*ggots and man haters wouldn’t approve of me capitulating to a BPD man.

Now I’m in my 30s and trying not to repeat mistakes, but this pattern seems to happen naturally. I’m seeing a guy who lives in a town 30 min away and it’s been 8 months. He’s really attentive and good but when he comes here he sees his friends, then comes to stay at mine after. It’s not a relationship w a future as I’m in a foreign country and I’ll leave in 6 months, but we’re not seeing other people and it’s certainly not ‘casual’… This sort of hurts my feelings but I also don’t need it to change out of a desire to socialize with him, only to placate my fears he’s somehow ashamed of me or whatever other things my imagination can conjure. Not to sound dumb but I’m not someone I think someone would be ashamed to date… I get a lot of attention whether I want to or not and I’m charismatic. I’ve considered maybe it’s the guy being ashamed of his friends or not thinking we’d be a match cus we’re from different cultures (I’m the same race but American diaspora)…
I’ve also always only been on the fringe of hetero dating so when I date a guy like this I can’t even tell what’s normal. We’re not getting married or moving in together so I guess why mix worlds? But it would be nice to know that he’s even spoken of my existence…

But back to my original question, what’s normal for you?

This sub is (understandably) missing humor often so I wanted to share this anecdote that would also only be funny to people who have been thru the disorienting devastation of being completely devalued by their partner.

I was just thinking how in the beginning of our 9 year relationship my ex was self conscious about taking his shirt off around me during sex etc. Like many insecure psychos he got embarrassed easily but in the beginning it was cute and obvious he cared what I thought as I was being idealized at that point. I just had this random flashback toward the end of our relationship after I’d been completely devalued as a person, and was coldly discarded a week or so later, how he came home from work one day to inform me how he’d shit his pants that day. This was someone who never even flatulated around me or spoke of these things ever.

What a funny time skip/comparison to make idk.
Share if you think of anything similar.

Ps I hope he shits his pants at work today, tomorrow and every day after that

Adorable dub song from a forgotten 80s 8bit computer game. Randomly remembered it existed, had it on every YT playlist I listened to in 2017.

Reading a book on it right now. I thought I might have had it because I have strong physical responses to the sound of some people’s voices, feeling it resonate in a certain part of the body. I also practiced with automatic writing for a while and in a general sense have creative interest in free association type stuff cus I’m always trying to eliminate over analyzing and over rationalizing from my process.

After reading the book and reading how strongly some experience it, with notable memories of it from childhood, I’m super curious to hear anyone’s firsthand experience or even if you knew someone who did.

People with it also tend to have superior memories which makes sense as we can take in memories thru the senses. My life experience is a lot more heady which is probably why I am not 100% any of my childhood memories are real or polished and reconstructed thru attempted descriptions over time.

So are any of you special little guys who can taste words, see the colors of letters and numbers, etc?

Lose the mind, come to the senses.

I have had an issue ignoring people my entire life, I do not know why it is such a difficult skill to grasp for me.
Of course once someone manages to reach the level of dehumanizing themselves completely to me and I lose all respect, I can finally ignore them.
I noticed this funny thing I do where instead of ignoring a text, I reply as dismissively or disagreeable and curt as possible, yet get increasingly frustrated when they keep responding and never stop the conversation despite ten successive damn that’s crazy’s.

Partly it is female conditioning probably and a sense of obligation/responsibility to not leave the other with their own unquiet mind.
But I don’t know why else I act so funny and evil about it. Fuck a text message what even is that? I have so much respect for people when they ignore me tbh I’m like thank god you have it in you.

I am a woman btw that is a magnet for projection and lifelong target of incel meltdowns.

Affirmation: I am a normal person and I attract normal human relations

I saw a question asking if anyone had ever gone back and I want to ask one more specific. I’m coming up on one year after a 9 year stint and it’s been on my mind a lot.

Have any of you ever returned to the relationship after a significant gap of being broken up?
Last time we broke up for 1.75 year.

My situation is definitely seemingly a narc one, he has been obsessed w me in I guess unhealthy ways, and my brain is still trained on the weird soulmate shit bc of the intensity. I acknowledge he is abusive and can never go back. I moved actually to further ensure this. The last time he contacted me was an insanely long spam email 5 months ago that went to my spam folder lamenting losing our relationship.

It follows and haunts me wherever I go, I know it will just take more time.

I guess I just want to hear from people who relate. How long of a gap had you left and still gone back? The 7 times statistic is confusing to me as during the ‘dating’ period mine would initiate breakups and getting back together again on almost a weekly basis.

Coming up on a year has a lot running thru my mind. Would just love some engagement, encouragement and to read any kind of similar struggles.