u/cityspeaks

I feel like crying. I requested an ADHD and Autism assessment earlier this year. The ADHD assessment was first and I was told I don’t have ADHD and that I am depressed. I did have a significant loss last year but that diagnosis was a huge shock to me at first. I took a step back for a few days and I then accepted I do have depression.

Today I’ve had my Autism assessment finalised and I’ve been told I have “late diagnosed Autism”. The assessor also asked “have you been diagnosed with depression in the past? Or misdiagnosed even?”. I gave her a timeline and yes, I’ve pretty much been in and out of depression for a decade.

I’ve only told my husband and 2 best friends. My husband wasn’t surprised and we talked a bit about the assessment.

I haven’t told my mum. I think she will still be in denial about it.

But I feel so many emotions. I feel like crying, I feel numb, I feel like people won’t believe me. That’s the worst part- when I’ve told friends before- they’ve always said “I don’t think you are”. Except… I am. I’ve felt different my whole life! I’ve masked incredibly well.. but to my own detriment.

To top it off, my manager hates me. Hate is a strong word but she makes my life so difficult. She knows I’m being assessed, so any tips to make work life easier, please send them my way. When I told her I was being assessed, she raised her eyebrow and when I later mentioned it to her on a phone call she said “you don’t sound certain”. The last thing I need is someone who doesn’t believe me to be managing me at work.

My daughter is 2.5 years old and I’ve been told she is likely autistic. I’m so proud of her achievements every single day. But she is developing behind her peers and the guilt feels like a sucker punch to the stomach.

I feel like I’m falling apart at the seams. I’m not sure what I mean by this post and it all feels like a late night ramble.

It’s a lot to take in right now. I just hope someone out there has been through something similar and understands what I’m going through.

My daughter (2.5) hasn’t gained weight in the last 6 months. She hardly eats portion wise and has a very limited selection of foods she will eat- mainly carbs, some protein and some dairy. Veg and fruit have to be hidden. She went through a blueberry phase but that was short lived. She does still drink full fat milk but not huge amounts. It feels like she literally lives on snacks and will refuse to eat all day until she gets some.

She hates certain textures so won’t entertain a lot of foods. Even when she has toast with peanut butter (one of her favourites), she will spit it out if she doesn’t like the texture.

My daughter isn’t at nursery yet so she doesn’t have that opportunity to see peers eating.

It’s also been suggested we get her referred to the neurodiversity team for Autism. Possibly due to the sensory issues and she has delays with her speech etc. It does also make me wonder if she likes things that come out of a packet as they all taste uniform and fresh food doesn’t.

She also vomits frequently and I suspect this is the main reason she’s not gained weight. We will be getting a GP appointment on Monday to revisit this again with them and ask for an intolerance test.

Any advice at all?

Following a meeting with my manager and union rep, I’ve had some reasonable adjustments agreed and some are pending senior management approval. I asked for some modification to my duties, as this had been agreed in principle for a mixed workload 2 months ago (union rep witness to this), but I have now been told this is not possible due to “service needs” to clear waiting lists- lists that have been longstanding and have not just appeared in the last few months.

When my union rep spoke up about reasonable adjustments, she was shot down by my manager several times. This derailed the conversation.

We have another meeting in a few weeks to finalise the reasonable adjustments, but I am now afraid to circle back to the previously agreed mixed workload as I am concerned about retaliatory behaviour.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I have posted about this previously, if you wish to read my original post https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHRUK/s/PqQw8poGAs

Following a meeting with my manager and union rep, I’ve had some reasonable adjustments agreed and some are pending senior management approval. I asked for some modification to my duties, as this had been agreed in principle for a mixed workload 2 months ago (union rep witness to this), but I have now been told this is not possible due to “service needs” to clear waiting lists- lists that have been longstanding and have not just appeared in the last few months.

When my union rep spoke up about reasonable adjustments, she was shot down by my manager several times. This derailed the conversation.

We have another meeting in a few weeks to finalise the reasonable adjustments, but I am now afraid to circle back to the previously agreed mixed workload as I am concerned about retaliatory behaviour.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I have posted about this previously, if you wish to read my original post https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHRUK/s/PqQw8poGAs

I’ve sent the request for items to HR to order items. Some relating to ADHD and some with mobility issues. There is an issue with transport and I’ve read out the section to my manager. How much of the report should I share with my employer? There’s nothing I’m worried about, except how many Kilos I weigh, but wondering how is best to go about this?

I have been diagnosed with two musculoskeletal issues, one for almost a decade and another for 3 years. One is undiagnosed. I have some equipment from Access to Work to alleviate some of these issues.

I also have other health conditions (diabetes) and have had anxiety and depression recently following the death of a parent.

I am currently on a phased return after several months of sick leave following said bereavement and I am worried about which I’ll raise during my meeting with OH next week:

(1) driving that is likely to exacerbate my condition and Access to Work has over 30 weeks waiting lists for taxi rides- what can I ask for as a reasonable adjustment in the meantime? I’m expected to be in the office twice a week, although some staff are able to work from without the same expectation.
(2) brain fog /fatigue/aches and pains where I might need longer breaks from typing-what reasonable adjustments are possible?
(3) attending outdoor work events that happen twice yearly where I’m required to stand for multiple hours and I will struggle to do so with my conditions- am I able to opt out of this and ask for other work tasks instead as a reasonable adjustment?
(4) time needed for gp appointments or physiotherapy/podiatry or counselling sessions during work hours even though I am part time as I only have childcare during the days I work. My manager has not been happy when I’ve gone for an urgent physio appointment during my phased return and asked me to do this in my own time which has made more anxious, but my understanding is this can be a reasonable adjustment?
(5) would I be likely covered under the Equality Act?

I’m really overwhelmed with several issues going on at once and concerned about my employer becoming reluctant to support me. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.