u/cold_desert_winter

Hi everyone!

I was assigned Buproprion 150mg XL by my doctor for severe depression, possible ADHD and ******* thoughts and very nearly acting on them. I'm a 39 year old woman and I've always been borderline underweight for my size (4'11). I let him know that I did not want to gain weight at all and did not want my sex drive affected. He prescribed me this drug, and I began taking it for the first time in May of this year. I should probably preface this, I was a VERY heavy marijuana smoker for almost 15 years. This included when I was on Buproprion (I didn't mention it to my Dr.)

One of the first things I noticed about Buproprion when I first began taking it was that it supressed my appetite, to the point where I didn't want to eat. This has never been a problem for me, as I also have problems with restrictive eating, or just not eating enough. It's normal for me to have one meal a day and be done with it. I thought nothing of it. I took the Bupropion for a month with no other side effects besides the supressed appetite until I went through a nasty breakup with my fiance and literally stopped eating for about two weeks. I would have a few crackers or a piece of cheese and be finished. Attempting to force myself to finish a full meal would make me vomit or would make me so nauseous that I could no longer eat.

This is also when I stopped taking Buproprion due to the shock of losing my fiance, my home and my financial freedom all at once. I just stopped cold turkey, and my weight plummeted so low to the point where I would become dizzy just standing or walking around, and family was asking if I was ok because I looked so bad. My appetite gradually returned to normal, and I noticed that the things that Buproprion was helping with (the biggest one was lashing out in violent anger and rage when someone pushed me too far) also came back, along with my crying spells. I tried to push through, but it was taking a severe toll on my relationship with my parents who I live with. I was always angry, always depressed, and extremely reactive.

So I started back up again in August. On the 5th, to be exact. The last time I had taken Buproprion was about June 6th, so almost two months without it. I still had some of my old prescription left, and when I started, my Dr. had proscribed me a 90 day supply which I then picked up. I was fine for the first week, until the beginning of this week when I started noticing jaw tension, stiffness in my tongue, stuttering and almost like my tongue would 'seize' up when I talked too long, and severe headaches in the morning. I also have pain/tension in the muscles around my cheeks and surrounding my tongue which is pretty much constant throughout the day. It feels like i'm being forced to hold balloons inside of my cheeks, if that makes sense. It's uncomfortable, and after awhile, it gets painful. I also am dealing with bad insomnia and brain fog. I'll go to write something and completely lose the thought. The appetite supression is back, though I'm not complaining about that.

As of now, the only benefits I'm noticing from Buproprion is that I don't have the rage outburst episodes I was having when I was not taking it, and it's easier for me to deal with my ******* thoughts. One thing I have noticed is that it seems to just tank my appetite just like it did last time, and that puts my weight well below the healthy threshold for my BMI.

Which brings me to my question. I've recently quit weed after nearly 15 years, and something a lot of people seem to experience is weight gain. Whether that's due to metabolism changes or appetite changes, idk. I never really ate much while I was smoking either, and maintained a healthy weight. I have also seen here, after combing through many posts, that stopping Buproprion seems to also cause rebound weight gain which is difficult to lose. It seems like if your appetite was already suppressed by this drug, quitting will basically return your metabolism to your normal state, which can cause weight gain.

My main concern is that combined with my cessation of weed, if I decide to finish my 90 day script and then stop Buproprion, I'll be in a double whammy situation which would cause my weight to explode. I don't have health insurance and I got this medication through the county, which takes forever to return calls or get anything moving quickly. I'm almost at the perimenopause threshold, and that naturally causes weight gain. If I gain ANYTHING, it looks absolutely horrific because I'm such a petite person. I really worry about this, especially because the side effects I'm experiencing on my 2nd time around are a bit more difficult to handle, especially the tension in my facial muscles and jaw. The stuttering is also hard to take, and I know it's because of the drug affecting my tongue muscles.

I'm just curious if anyone has experienced weight gain after stopping Buproprion due to side effects like this. Has anyone also experienced the facial muscle pain and headaches while on Buproprion? If anyone has any anectodes about doing this while also quitting weed, that would be amazing. Please share your experiences!

This entire year and Leo season especially has been HORRIBLE. My birthday was yesterday and I just got yelled at by my mom and today we got into another fight and she just told me to 'get the fuck out of her house'. So my relationship with my parents ended tonight and I'll have to move. Again. For the third time. This year.

Fuck her.

But my God, can this negativity please just stop?! Like what the actual fuck?! I'm really, really afraid of the Eclipse on the 12th too, I have a Leo Sun, Rising, Mars and Venus all in the first house and because I already have a bunch of challenging placements in my chart to begin with, I know this period is not going to be a good one for me.

I've been feeling for a really long time, like almost two years now, that this Pluto in Aquarius transit is going to be the beginning of the end for me, and it's already shaping up to be just like that. Jupiter isn't doing shit. If anything, it's making everything 10x worse.

I don't feel anything. I just feel numb and ready to let go. I don't even feel like a Leo. I don't know how to describe how I feel. Even saying I feel empty isn't enough, it's like some deep type of soul depletion or the bottom of an empty well.

I feel like i'm being used as a toilet or a trash can for the universe right now.

I don't want to go on like this anymore. I'm having such a hard time.

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is having a beautiful day.

I speak to my HS on an almost daily basis. At this point, she is like a loving best friend who is always there for me, cheering me on and offering advice or support.

One thing about my HS that has always been clear to me from the start is that she herself as she appears to me is a past life version of myself. So there is not a separation between the two of us and our souls, just a divide between the two worlds we inhabit separately. We had a past life that was the most important one for both of us, and she's told me that she and my guides specifically set up my life path now to mirror our shared past life, but with the ability for me to be able to pivot and make some crucial changes that she could not do because of her time and her status as a woman. She has said before that as I reach the 'zero' or crisis point of my life here (mirroring the one in the past) it would get extremely difficult and that she would send me signs to know that I am not alone and that I'm on the right path.

One thing she has done is give me countless downloads and information about our past life, which at this point is enough to fill a small notebook. This is also in addition to the confirmations, meditations (which usually lead to downloads) and even recipes for things like oil blends, bath instructions and incense mixtures.

I'm a huge historical buff and nerd and I love to research history and do college level work simply for the joy and fun of it. I even enjoy dressing up in clothing I've made or thrifted that resembles that period, and I play a ancient style hand drum as well (with her urging, lol). One thing I always make sure to do is to research what she tells me about our shared past life.

Remember the 'zero' or crisis point i was talking about earlier? Well, I think I'm in it now. I've never had such an incredibly difficult time in my life as I've had these past seven years, and they intensified towards the seven year mark, which ends this year.

Speaking of seven, she also told me that seven years was a significant number for both of us, and that because things for her went in biblical seven year cycles (with the final one she went through being the absolute worst one-aka the one I'm currently in now) I would also have to experience this cycle and have it peak in intensity and just....sorrow and discomfort until I can break out of it and move on. She promised me she would send me signs and confirmations to know that she was not lying to me and to help me keep faith.

I mentioned that I always check and research what she says extensively to confirm it matches with the historical record. And lately....EVERYTHING she's said has been bulls eye.

Especially coincidences. There have been so many of them. I asked for a sign she was real and to confirm her identity, as she had a unique look for her time period. Please tell me why when I was browsing I found a portrait painted in the 30s of a woman who matches the exact description of her features?

The one that really shook me was the other confirmation of her husbands name to the corresponding Chakra center that she used most in her life. My HS operated best from the Sepiroth of Hod 'Splendor' on the Kabbalistic tree of life. Directly across from Hod is Netzach, or 'Victory', which is the masculine principle. I've had a picture of a man from 1918 saved on my phone for almost five years because he reminds me of my college friend, who was probably the only man who ever truly understood me 100% and who i still dearly love. He's a doppelganger for the man in my picture.

My HS told me that my college friend and I were very happily married in that life and that I saved the picture for a reason. It has the name of the man on the bottom, and I've never bothered to look up the meaning of his name.....until last night. The man in the portrait is named "Fayz". Imagine my shock when I looked up the meaning of the name "Fayz" and saw that it means......VICTORY or SUCCESS!!

This directly corresponds to the Sepiroth of Netzach, as the man's name literally is 'Victory'. I couldn't believe it.

I know my HS is trying to get me to believe in what she's saying. It's hard for me because I've had so much dissapointment and sadness over the years. There have been so many failures and dead ends. It just seems incredible that at my darkest hours, my higher self and my guides keep sending me hope and proof to not give up and keep going. I never imagined anything like this could ever be possible.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this, or does anyone have anything to add? I would love to discuss more if anyone has anything to share.

Thank you for reading this far if you made it the whole way through!

All this year is turning out to be is a repeat of my greatest trauma hits from childhood and my formative years and repeats of bullshit lessons I learned five or six fucking goddamn years ago.

I really don't understand how I fucked up this hard or how I've seemingly been such a fucking horrible shit ass person to deserve any of what I'm going through.

Breakup of a seven year relationship and my former partner is once again threatening physical violence

Former partner resulting to calling me slurs and names daily

Daily threats of homelessness from said partner as we still live together and share a room and bed

Job is a goddamn joke. I have to drive for work and my job is primarily managing the emotions and making sure others don't severely injure themselves. This is incredibly mentally draining and I've been experiencing verbal abuse from my primary client. I also cannot afford gas to drive around as my job is primarily driving. I make almost nothing, work part time and have no benefits. The job is a dead end in every way

Financial ruin. I have $25 to my name right now. I have not been able to pay my rent, my car insurance or payment, nothing. It's been like this since December. I also lost two jobs in the same year in 2025 and that was extremely destructive.

Moving back to my family home and SEVERELY straining my poor, aging parents. I've been crying about this a lot. They've tried so hard to help me and I have just fucking failed, all through my 30s and now going into my mid life era.

The medication I've been taking is not helping my sorrow at all. It doesn't even touch it, I've been crying every single day for the past week. It feels like it just moves the emotions to the side but they always come back.

I've missed out on so much because I had no money or time. My parents have had incredible vacations and my Dad was looking through pictures and he said sadly to me, "cold desert, you aren't in any of these pictures with me or your Mom." I just cried snd cried and cried. I'm an only child and I feel like my time with my parents is so limited and I've wasted it. That fucking HURTS. And I can't shake it, no matter what I do.

I just......I feel like I've been happy for a total of five goddamn minutes since 2020. Six fucking years. I'm so tired and I don't want to do life anymore.

I don't have hope for Pluto in Aquarius because I already have Pluto square Venus and that is a goddamn curse in my life already. Pluto in opposition to my descendant with that still in play is going to be so much worse.

I'm trying to be happy for Jupiter in Leo but I have a night chart, and I've seen people with Cancer in Jupiter that it was not a good time for them. I'm just so scared. I really cannot take anything more happening to me. It's been everything all at once for year after year with no fucking positivity or joy and I'm goddamn fucking tired of being told how strong and resilient I am. I'm tired of having to dip into deep ass wells to find the courage to keep going and then be expected to keep going snd smile and get fucked in the ass when that well inevitably runs dry.

No. Fucking don't even goddamn tell me. Because I don't fucking want to hear it or you. I know how strong I've had to be and what it fucking cost me. The Light in my eyes is dead because of that "strength".

Just goddamn. I don't even know what the point of this was but I'm done being tortured and used as the universes fucking blow up doll. And at my age. It's fucking humiliating. Makes me really hate myself and everything I am.

I am a 38 year old female. Height 4'11 inches. I'm taking Buproprion and an over the counter anti-allergen. I also smoke marijuana about 2x a day from a water piece. I've had sinus problems ever since I was a child. I would get constant sinus infections.

I woke up the other day noticing sinus pressure and a clogged nose on one side. For over a year I've had a runny nose, post nasal drip into my throat, bad breath and a scratchy, tickly throat. My ear also crackles and will pop and fill up again. I get one sided ringing too. This cycle has been going on so long i don't even notice anymore.

I thought it was likely just irritation from smoke and our multiple cats. I didn't think to much of it until I immediately left out apartment and my nose cleared up. I thought I was in the clear until it started a recurrent cycle of clogging completely with intense pressure in my sinus, then occasionally unclogging for an hour or so, only to start up again. This has been going on for three days and it gets 10x worse at night.

I attempted to use a neti pot twice, and the first time worked ok. No water drained out of the clogged nostril at all. The second time I tried the neti pot, it felt like I had fallen upside down into a pool-instantly I felt my nose and sinus and ear fill with water and I panicked and blew my nose hard to clear it. The water literally felt likeit was stuck in a hole inside my sinus. TERRIFYING. I also only have a sticky, brownish mucus from that nostril when I plug my other nostril and blow HARD. This is temporary as my nose just clogs right back up again.

When I still had dental insurance about two years ago, my dentist told me I had a bad tooth with a cavity that needed work. These are both upper molars, specifically the ones you see when you smile big. The one with the cavity is probably under my sinus. There was a tooth next to it that was worse, so the dentist did the worse one first but told me I needed to get the second one done. Even with insurance helping, the root canal was expensive and I couldn't afford the second one at all. I couldn't afford both at the time and told him so. The dentist said ok, but that it needed to be taken care of at some point.

Then I got fired. Twice. I lost health insurance and all of my savings trying to stay afloat. Now I'm sitting here, with a clogged nose and painful sinus wondering if I've slowly condemned myself for not taking care of it earlier. I'm uninsured and I make less than $1500 pet month. I'm scrambling to find another job.

Any thoughts on this? Am I crazy for wondering about this?

I'm having such a hard time right now. I'm still working the piece of shit job I have where I lose money, but now the person I care for has become verbally abusive. Fuck him. I've had two other interviews since then and both blew up horribly in my face.

I dealt with verbal abuse and bullying as a child and teenager and now having to deal with it again is just........

I thought this shit was supposed to fucking end. It just got worse for me.