u/coopsoup247

Unlike the evil Disney sequels, my film respects the characters from the OT. It has Luke training Jedi, and everyone loves him. But then a supervillain called Kathliin Kenidee invades the galaxy with the imperial remnant.

Finn is in my film, and he gets to become a Jedi. Rey does nothing in the film except say "You can do it Finn!" (Also, Finn is white now)

I've already had a lot of criticism from haters, saying my film is nothing more than "key jingling", but I assure you, that it is a rich, thematic story, and the sequel that Star Wars fans deserve.

He's called Starkiller (I named him after the base. I've headcanoned it that they named the base after my OC because he's so badass).

Starkiller is the child of a powerful jedi master. During Order 66, Darth Vader kills his father, but when he sees that Starkiller is super strong with the force (he's only 3, but he's able to disarm Vader), Vader takes him on as a secret apprentice.

During the Empire, Starkiller is this cool assassin, but with a dark heart. He gets this hot new pilot, and falls in love with her, because she gets how damaged he is.

So he does some cool stuff, kills ranchors, kills Shaak Ti, and pulls a fricken Star Destroyer out of the sky using the force.

Vader betrays him though, so he goes and fights Vader and the Emperor (but not before he does kissing with the hot pilot). He easily beats them, but he sacrifices himself so that the Rebel Alliance can happen. Everyone cries because he was so cool and awesome and him dying was really sad.

I have an alt version where he kills Vader, but is reborn as a cool cyborg who hunts down and kills Obi-Wan and turns Luke to the dark side.

The Star Wars books from this era really showed how Vader was a badass Dad. Working to secure his Empire, while having a loving relationship with his daughter.

Disney canon shows Vader as a terrible father. In one of the films, they even show him torturing his daughter. George Lucas would never have approved.

Why does mine not look like everyone else's??

I asked the guy at the counter to help me build "the iconic tool from the world's greatest sci-fi fantasy series", and he got me this thing from the stockroom.

Whose lightsaber is it? It's not one of those Glup Shitto High Republic Jedi right?

In Legends books and comics, Luke:

1. Wrestled a bear naked. The bear yielded and later became Luke’s best friend.
2. Defeated a clone of Palpatine in a lightsaber duel.
3. Was married to Mara Jade, Ahsoka Tano, and Scarlett Johansson. All at the same time.
4. Created the first lightsaber guitar, then defeated a clone of Palpatine in a guitar battle.
5. Became a Coruscant Hills holo-movie star. he won the Isaac for best actor for his performance in the autobiographical film, Luke At Me Now.
6. Became a gourmet chef on Chandrilla. He defeated a clone of Palpatine in a cooking competition.
7. Became a fashion icon and runway model. The “catwalk” was soon renamed the “skywalk”.
8. Became a professional Shockball player with the Tatooine Tuskens. During the 83rd Galactic Cup, he scored the final goal against the Serreno Sith, defeating the goalkeeper, a clone of Palpatine.

Disney would never dare make Luke as incredible as he was in Legends. (Ignore the fact I used a picture of Luke from The Mandalorian for this).

I haven't seen many jedi utilize the Wii remote and Nunchuck for their training.

You're welcome.

So he'd probably have a quirky clone name, like Rex, Buster, or Rover, and he would have told me his clone number, CT-648whatever. But the name might be fake or common amongst clones, and there's no way I'd remember the number.

Obviously a DNA test would be useless, as it would match all the clones.

So if I couldn't find the actual father, would all the Clone Troopers become joint fathers? Or could I lie to a random Clone and convince them that they're the father?

As well as getting them to kill all the Jedi, does the control chip have a setting to make a Clone a good father?

Count Binface is armed with very strong rhetoric, and has many fighters to defend the Eggman Empire. It just seems really unlikely that Ratchet and Clank could have reached the Death Egg exhaust intact without using Groovitron disco balls.

I know that Star-Lord and Rocket Raccoon fly in on the Milano at the last minute to save them, shooting Count Binface's ship, but that's just dumb luck. The entire Star Fox team had been shot down already, so I don't see how Ratchet and Clank, (who are less skilled pilots than Fox McCloud) manage to survive?

After they land back on the Citadel, I really like the scene where Ratchet and Star-Lord get medals from Commander Shepard. But it's never explained why Rocket never gets a medal?

The writing is so good! Because Rey and Ben take turns on being the baddie.

Mario + Rabbids: Sparks of Hope is already the perfect Star Wars tactics game. You've got guns, space ships, Glup Shittos, the lot. There's even an edgelord character with a sword (basically Anakin.)

It's very dark and gritty. Seeing some of those Rabbids suffer... It's harrowing.

So Disney, cancel Zero Company. We've already got the game we need.

I bet Disney is going to try to copy Mario Kart next too. And call it something like "Galactic Racer".