u/corazonsinalma

I know this may sound very silly or dumb but I want to give my little cousin who was supposed to be a ring bearer a gift since he'll be missing my wedding. I sent him a ring security thing and my aunt said she'll have a talk will him about missing my wedding due to her and my mom's inability to bury the hatchet as well as conflicting plans. She had a talk with me that it was nothing personal against me so, there's that.

Is there a little gift or package I could put together for my little cousin to recieve when they get back from their trip that would be a nice present? Like maybe a coloring book, a personalized baseball hat (our theme is baseball) and he likes the same team future hubby does, and maybe put 'Ring Security' and his name or something onnthe side of the hat? And maybe a letter from me and future hubby?

I have no idea what I'm doing here.

I have no real reason to be or feel depressed. I blamed it on my mom annoying me (she and I have an awful relationship, she was in active addiction most of my life and I more or less forgave her but I see all of her narcissistic qualities each and every day). She's also been on leave from work so it's more in my face...and she's always around me being on leave since I can't be alone due to the fact I have epileptic and non-epileptic seizures.

I just wanna put on my headphones, ignore everyone (even my fiancé) and listen to the song Manic Depression by Jimi Hendrix and cry.

I haven't lost interest in all my intrests but the main ones I wanna do, I don't...I think it's because my mom is around and she used to make fun of me for reading when I was a kid and it's been hard to find joy in it like I used to...

Will this make sense if I just relay this as written to my therapist? Sometimes I don't explain myself well at all but I'm hoping this is thorough enough.

For some context: I am disabled (31) and I have seizures and thus cannot drive a car anymore. Then there is this girl I have known since high school but reconnected with roughly a year ago.. Let's call her Tina.

Tina is 33 and she is also disabled. She has autism and while I've felt I can be infantalized by some of my family members, Tina's mother absolutely infantalizes her A LOT.

We have a lot of the same interests, so I invited Tina to a convention about our interests and we booked a hotel since it was over an hour away.

Everything was fine or so it seemed...Tina's mom asked for my mom's number which I didn't think was too crazy. But, then my mom showed me a text from Tina's mom when I got home.

It said something along the lines of Tina's mom implying I'm forcing Tina to drive places at night since I can't and how she hates her daughter driving at night.

Tina and I have gone dancing quite a few times at late night 30+ club events.

While my mother and I aren't the best of friends, she told me about these messages and said she didn't like that Tina's mom said that. I don't either. My mother debated cursing Tina's mom out but chose not to in order to not destroy my friendship.

It's always Tina who's convinced me to go out at night as, I deal with pretty severe fatigue from my illness and it's rare that I can muster up enough energy to do much of anything but going dancing every now and again has been nice. That said, it's not something I can do realistically anymore. I just feel super uncomfortable with her mom thinking I'm forcing her to go out since I can't drive.

Now, that said...Tina is out nearly every single night with or without me. She's always at a bar or something if she can make it after work. I'm not sure her mom understands that.

Tina takes things pretty hard. Like, the other day I got busy and didn't text her back quickly and then she started asking if I was angry with her. Which was not the case, I had a lot to do around the house.

I'm not sure I want to tell her about the text her mom sent . I'm also not really sure how to create distance except for the excuse I currently have: I'm planning my wedding but once that's over, I won't have a real excuse.

I would've never said yes to a 40 people wedding if I hadn't known how many things I would have to pick and choose. I thought I could just tell my wonderful hubby: Which do you like? And he'd pick for me like he does when we go to eat. I couldn't pick a wedding color so, I had him choose it.

Now the event coordinator that was supposedly included is a separate fee but we've decided to do everything ourselves since, we really don't need too much crapola going on.

We're keeping it pretty rustic/minimal and baseball-centric themed (one of the first things we bonded over was our love of baseball and our opposing teams.)

But, I'm hold onto being happy, DIY-ing most things since I do love crafting and making sure I know WE are happy with the day.

Screw what other people think!