u/creepy_helpp

I am in need of urgent advice about my husbands behavior. I checked out his chats there was nothing vulgar or intimate just casual chit chat but sharing of recent pics (how much they grew in all these years) and i have no issues with them talking too but hiding it from me. I am even friends with one of his school ex and we get along okayish (not met her irl but on chats only).

I just want to kow how to confront it in best way cz i dont want to fight since i am pregnant right now and he has come back to house just 2 days back (he works overseas and I am currentlv in India due to my work and health). It was just sheer coincidence that I went through messages since I was using his phone (my phone was dead). I am in no mood of full fledged fight rather just want clear answers about hiding it from me. Also, important to mention that the girls were the first to text after he posted his photo on hIs socials.

I am currently 6 weeks pregnant. When I told my mother, the first thing she asked was, "How will you complete your studies?" She looked blank and lost in thought. When I asked what she was thinking, she said that she had spent her life taking everyone to hospitals but is no longer fit enough to do that, and that I too had spent years taking care of everyone but now there is no one available for me.

I assured her I would manage on my own, but as the days passed, she never asked if I was eating well, resting enough, or taking care of myself. Instead, she seemed more worried that my pregnancy was "too early." I got married 7 months ago, but I am almost 34 and have been with my husband for 7 years. Given our circumstances, I felt it was not wise to delay pregnancy any longer.

My husband works overseas and comes to India every few months. I am still completing my PhD in my hometown, which is one reason we have not shifted yet. Another reason is my mother. Since my father's death a few years ago, I have been one of the main supports for my mother and brother.

I have always been the responsible eldest daughter. Since my teenage years, I have taken everyone to doctors—my grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, my mother, and even household staff. I still take my mother to her appointments whenever needed. My mother's two brothers and their families practically live in our house, and much of my mother's resources have gone into supporting them. I have also helped raise their children, taken them to doctors, worried about their education, and cared for them like my own.

What hurts is that my mother has always been deeply invested in everyone else's children and pregnancies. Just a few months ago, when my sister-in-law became pregnant and later lost the baby, I was the one taking her to hospitals and follow-up visits. My mother was heartbroken and took great care of her. When my uncle and aunt had children recently, she was thrilled and openly prayed for them.

But when it came to my pregnancy, she did not express happiness. She simply told me not to tell anyone. She does not ask how I am feeling, whether I am eating, or whether I need anything. Today, when I was leaving for a doctor's appointment, she asked if I was going to college. When I said no, she did not even ask where I was going until the last moment. Only then did she formally ask if she should come along.

I did not expect her to take care of everything. She is a patient herself and has health issues. I only wanted her to be happy for me, the way she is for everyone else.

Sometimes I feel like I have spent years being everyone's emotional support, while my own feelings come last. I am now considering moving out and living separately, but I am unsure if that is the right thing to do while pregnant and largely on my own.

I used chatgpt to reframe. I am crying whike writing it. Help me navigate if its pregnancy or I am facing really bad situation right now? How to emotionally handle it? Should i move out ?

32M Husband talks to his exes behind my back.

How to deal with mother who is against your pregnancy?