u/crochetlover_

I’ve been struggling with loneliness for a long time, and I feel like I’ve gotten myself stuck in a really frustrating cycle.
I want connections so badly. I want people to talk to throughout the day, people I can share things with, and people who actually want me around. But I’ve spent so long being alone and depending on myself that I’ve gotten used to it, and now I feel like I’ve almost become too comfortable with isolation.
The weird thing is that I actually get opportunities to connect with people. I’ve gotten a lot of matches on dating apps, and people seem interested in talking to me, but I end up struggling to keep the conversations going because I don’t have the social battery, I feel too lazy to put in the effort, and replying just feels like too much work even though I’m the one who desperately wants these connections in the first place.
Another problem is that I overthink my responses wayyy too much. I’ll want to reply to someone, but instead of just sending a normal message, I’ll sit there trying to come up with the perfect response. I want to say something interesting, funny, or engaging, and I end up exhausting myself before I’ve even replied.
Then I end up all alone again, wondering why I don’t have friends, even though I can recognize that I’m not helping myself when I act this way.
It feels like I’m constantly self sabotaging my own chances of not being alone. I want connection, but I struggle with the effort and consistency that maintaining relationships requires. And the longer I go without connections, the more natural it feels to just keep to myself even though it’s not what I actually want.
I don’t know if I’ve genuinely become lazy, if I’m socially drained from being alone for so long, or if I’ve just gotten so used to relying on myself that making room for other people feels exhausting now.

Has anyone else experienced this??

Does anyone else find it really disheartening when you finally start putting yourself out there and nothing seems to come from it? For a long time I blamed my loneliness on not trying hard enough. I wasn’t reaching out to people, wasn’t putting myself in situations to meet anyone, and wasn’t making much of an effort. Lately I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve been talking to people, joining conversations, trying dating apps, trying to make friends, trying to be more open and it hurts when it still doesn’t seem to go anywhere.I know relationships and friendships take time, but it’s hard not to get discouraged when you’re putting in effort and still ending up alone at the end of the day.

Does anyone else find it really disheartening when you finally start putting yourself out there and nothing seems to come from it? For a long time I blamed my loneliness on not trying hard enough. I wasn’t reaching out to people, wasn’t putting myself in situations to meet anyone, and wasn’t making much of an effort. Lately I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve been talking to people, joining conversations, trying dating apps, trying to make friends, trying to be more open and it hurts when it still doesn’t seem to go anywhere.I know relationships and friendships take time, but it’s hard not to get discouraged when you’re putting in effort and still ending up alone at the end of the day.

Does anyone else find it really disheartening when you finally start putting yourself out there and nothing seems to come from it? For a long time I blamed my loneliness on not trying hard enough. I wasn’t reaching out to people, wasn’t putting myself in situations to meet anyone, and wasn’t making much of an effort. Lately I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve been talking to people, joining conversations, trying dating apps, trying to make friends, trying to be more open and it hurts when it still doesn’t seem to go anywhere.I know relationships and friendships take time, but it’s hard not to get discouraged when you’re putting in effort and still ending up alone at the end of the day.