u/d_cantchangeit

I found a to-do list of things to do before committing suicide among my husband’s belongings. I confronted him about it, and he cried. He also held back a lot of tears and, in the end, just told me to put it back where I found it (I didn’t). What can I do to help prevent him from shutting down and prevent this event he called “D Day”.
I already talk to a friend who was on the list of goodbye texts. And reached out to is family doctor to seek help for him.
He is acting like nothing happened.

Hi everyone,
I’m writing here because I feel overwhelmed and I honestly don’t know what to think anymore.
A few weeks ago I started noticing an unusual vaginal discharge. I went to my gynecologist and after doing tests, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. I’m going to start treatment soon.
I’m in a committed relationship and have been with my husband for 4 years. According to him, he has never been with anyone else during our relationship, and I also haven’t been with anyone else.
What makes this even more confusing is that, around the same time, he had symptoms like burning during urination and an unusual discharge. He went to a doctor and was given antibiotics for what was thought to be a urinary infection, and the symptoms eventually went away.
Since I started being followed by my doctor, we haven’t had sexual intercourse, especially because I had already taken antibiotics earlier (for suspected infection), but my symptoms didn’t fully resolve. It was only after taking a proper sample of the discharge for analysis that the result came back positive for gonorrhea.
We’ve both now agreed to get properly tested, and I’m starting the recommended treatment. I’ve also asked him to attend my appointment with me tomorrow, because I feel we both need answers and clarity on what is going on and how to move forward medically.
On an emotional level, things have been difficult between us for a while. There have been ups and downs in our relationship, and in the past few months he has often said he needs space and has been going out alone or being absent more often. I tried to respect that and give him room, but now I can’t help but question everything.
I feel lost, confused, and alone. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this, and I don’t know what to do next or what to believe.
I’m not trying to accuse him without proof, I just need help understanding how something like this could happen in a long-term relationship, and what possibilities I should realistically consider.
If anyone has been through something similar or has any insight, I would really appreciate it.

I had some weird discharge for a few weeks, family doctor prescribed ant fungus, didn’t notice any difference. So I went to gynecologist and she said I so had a Bacterial vaginosis so I took antibiotics, went back and it was still there (green/yellow discharge with blood). She did a swab and send it to analysis. So today I received a positive for gonorrhea. I’m married and haven’t been with anyone besides my husband for more than 4 years. A few weeks ago he run antibiotics too for a urinary infection (pain while peening and white penis discharge) but is feeling good now.
How this could happen? I’m so confuse.