u/daecrist

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"That is utter madness," Albert said, staring at Liam like he'd lost it.

Liam deflated. "Well, I suppose it was worth a shot, at least."

"No, no, don't get me wrong," Albert said. "That is utter madness, but utter madness is the kind of thing I'm looking for from you."

Liam turned to stare at the cat. He sat on his haunches and stared back at him.

"You want utter madness from me?" Liam asked.

"Well, just a little bit. Utter madness that’s properly supervised,” Albert said with a shrug, which again, looked very odd coming from a cat. "I don't want you to do anything that's going to get you killed, but I also don't want you playing things so safe that you never do anything interesting."

"What about all that stuff about me being your great experiment and wanting to keep me safe?"

"It's all about striking a balance," Albert said, "At least until you start getting on your feet and can finally get around to the world domination I'm hoping for."

"I don't want to dominate the world," Liam said. "I just want to live my life."

"Yeah, and your life will be so much nicer to live if you dominate the world."

Liam opened his mouth to tell the cat exactly what he thought of that, and then he snapped his mouth shut. It didn't seem like one of those situations where arguing with Albert would be useful or productive, and so he decided to not even bother. For the moment.

It's not like he could get up to any world domination while he was trapped inside the coach, after all.

He looked up to the three windows all around him. There was still plenty of light streaming in. The thing rocked back and forth. He felt the discomfort of sitting on a plain board without even a little bit of cushioning.

"Okay," Liam said. "So you said there’s a spell that can do something similar to the wood in the coach?"

"There is," Albert said. "I want you to clear your mind."

Liam closed his eyes, and he tried to do just that. Only worries kept hitting him. What would happen to him if they eventually reached their destination? What would happen to Ana? He was more worried about what would happen to Ana, to be perfectly honest.

He opened his eyes.

"What's the problem?" Albert asked.

"I'm having trouble clearing my mind."

"Yeah, that's pretty typical for someone who is doing this for the first time."

"So what do I do?" Liam asked.

"Do you want to get out of this alive and without being tortured by the Inquisition?" Albert asked.

"I would very much like that, yes," Liam said, licking his lips.

"Then you figure out how in the hells you're going to do it. It's as simple as that."

Liam blinked. It was a touch harsh, but he figured it was also the truth.

So with that new bit of motivation being held in his heart, he closed his eyes and he took a deep breath and let it out. He tried to clear his mind of all thoughts, and when he did, there was a faint pulsing he could sense deep inside him. Two faint pulsings, actually, but one of them seemed far more dim than the other.

"What do you see?" Albert asked.

"I see two bright lights in me," he said. "Like they're waiting for me in the darkness."

"Those are your two cores,” Albert said, "Though this is the first time I've ever heard of somebody identifying a second one."

There was a brief pause.

"You're welcome."

"Thanks," Liam said. "And thanks for stating the obvious."

"You're learning how all of this works, and you're being taught by the greatest sorcerer who ever lived," Albert said with a sniff. "So yes, I will take that thank you, even though I can sense the sarcasm. Plus when you are teaching somebody, you very quickly learn that you should never assume they know what you know."

"I imagine there's a lot that the people you’ve taught don't know, considering how much you know," Liam said.

"Why, yes, that's true," Albert said. "Thank you so much for recognizing my genius. So few that I was forced to teach by those idiot bureaucrats at the Academy with their love of red tape were able to appreciate that."

Liam compressed his lips to a thin line as he felt around those two shining points of light in his body. It was funny they were those tiny points, and yet at the same time, he could also sense the vast pool of mana that was being held within them. Odd that something so small could hold that much pure power.

"One of them is dimmed," he said.

"That sounds about right," Albert said. "That will be the dampening effect of the arcana wood."

"I can still feel the other one like usual, though."

"Interesting," Albert said. "It would be easier if we had the demoness here to assist with this, but we don’t. So we're going to have to muddle along as best we can and see what there is to see here.”

"And what exactly are you thinking? Liam asked.

"What I'm thinking is I want you to think about a spell that has the same mana dampening effect as the wood all around you. That should bring it to mind for you.”

"Okay, I'm thinking of that," Liam said.

Something faint started to pulse fitfully in front of him in the darkness. It was there and then it was gone.

"What do you see?" Albert asked, sounding eager.

"I thought I almost saw something in the darkness just now, but then it was gone," Liam said.

"I was afraid of that," Albert said.

"Why is it doing that?" Liam asked.

"There are two things happening at the same time here," Albert said. "The first is that you are new to spell casting, and even having mana, and so being able to see a spell will be more difficult for you."

"But I was able to see the spell for Wind and the spell for Slow Fall easily enough," Liam said.

"Yes, but both of those are relatively simple spells. Well, the Slow Fall wasn't necessarily simple, but it was simple enough that it would have been easier for you to see. The same can't be said for a mana dampening spell. That’s starting to scrape the very bottom of the barrel of spells I’d consider to be true magic.”

“Wonderful,” Liam said. "So, I just concentrate on it and I should be able to see it?"

"Well, that's another part of the problem," Albert said. "What I've done is give you a spell codex in your mind."

"Like a book?" Liam asked.

"I suppose you could say it’s like a book," Albert said. “Though it’s more information that is etched in the mana itself. It’s a trick created by people who are much better at working with runes and mana. When you get into more advanced mana, there are ways to open and close mana pathways and channels that create on and off states that allow you to do incredible things with the mana beyond mere spell casting.”

"I see," Liam said.

"No, you don't see," Albert said. "You shouldn't say you do if you don’t. Simply admit that you don't understand something and then go about trying to understand it."

"Rude much?" Liam asked.

"Merely practical," Albert said.

"Okay, so I don't see, but I think I understand the gist of what you're getting at," Liam said. “There are uses for mana beyond simple spell casting.”

That made sense, of course. There were devices that used magic. He’d seen some of them at Baron Riven’s estate, though they were jealously guarded and fabulously expensive. He’d heard that sort of thing was more commonplace in the king’s city, but he’d never been there.

"You don't, but again, that's fine for now. The codex is a way to use mana to store things, and I stored every spell I've ever learned and gave it to you. I also made sure there was an index that allowed you to summon a spell diagram by thinking of it, though obviously I can’t help you with actually learning how to draw the diagram so you can cast it.”

"But why?" Liam asked.

The cat sighed. Liam opened one eye and looked down at him. He was lashing his tail back and forth in clear frustration.

"I should think that's obvious," he said. "You're my great experiment. I want to give you the best chance to make it in the world."

"So I can dominate that world?" Liam asked, arching an eyebrow over the one eye he had open.

"I'll settle for merely being able to get revenge against those bastards at the Academy if you’re hellsbent against world domination,” Albert said. "Now be quiet. Too many questions, not enough concentrating or learning."

"Right," Liam said, closing his eyes and thinking about that spell. Again it almost seemed like it was there for a moment, and then again it was gone.

"I'm still having trouble seeing it."

"That's the other part of the problem," Albert said with a sigh. "The mana codex, by necessity, uses mana to create and store the information. So if you're surrounded by material that dampens your ability to access arcane mana then it's also going to dampen your ability to access a construct created using arcane mana."

"I see," Liam said.

There was a slight tap at his thigh. The cat smacking him.

“What did I tell you about saying you understand something when you don’t?” Albert asked.

"Might I remind you that I could toss you across this coach?" Liam asked.

"Might I remind you that you're going to need my help if you're going to get out of this?"

"Says you," Liam said.

"The mana dampening is going to make it more difficult," Albert said. "But you need to simply sit and contemplate the spell more. You need to think about it until it breaks through even the effects of the mana dampening spell all around you."

"Damn it," Liam said.

He closed his eyes again. He thought about the diagram appearing in front of him, and this time it started to slowly appear out of the darkness, but then it flickered fitfully, and it was gone almost as quickly as it had appeared.

"What happened?" Albert asked.

"I felt like I was closer, but then it was gone."

"Yes, well, I suppose this isn't going to be like the stories where somebody is immediately proficient in magic," Albert said with a snort. "I always thought that sort of thing was ridiculous anyway."

“Didn’t you just get done lecturing me about how you were immediately proficient in all the magical spells you tried?" Liam said.

"Well, maybe," Albert said. “Maybe I'm remembering things a little differently than how they actually happened. At the beginning, at least. Either way, you need to concentrate. You're going to have to put in the work. You'll need to try and see the diagram in front of you, and then you need to figure out how to paint it with the mana brush in your mind.

"Oh, is that all?" Liam said, rolling his eyes on the inside since his eyes were currently closed.

"Well, most people tend to have weeks, months, or years to grow accustomed to casting spells. You're only going to have maybe the space of half a day to figure it out."

"Wonderful," Liam said.

"On the bright side, the idea that you're preventing your own death or a painful torture session is going to be a great motivator. That’s far more than most students whose only motivation is to avoid the ire of the teacher who's going over everything with them."

"A silver lining," Liam muttered.

He tried to clear out his mind again. He focused on the two cores inside him, and he focused on trying to summon the mana diagram even through the block all around him. Even though his arcane core was diminished compared to what it had been before.

But he could still feel it there. He could still feel the mana that was trying to burst through, trying to break free.

He just had to figure out a way to make that possible. And figure out a way to use infernal mana for the spell he discovered, which might not even be possible.

But first, the darkness, his cores, and the spell. He could worry about everything that came after, well… after.

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The creature stood up on its hind legs and let out a bellowing roar. I stared down at it from our vantage point looking into the enclosure, and I'm not ashamed to admit that a little trickle of nervousness ran through me.

It threw its four massive muscled arms wide. There were paws at the end, but the top paws had digits that looked like they could almost manipulate something. Imagine a raccoon that had the claws of a grizzly bear at the end, and the face of a grizzly bear up top, but with a nose that was a little more snub than your typical grizzly bear.

Only all in all the full package was way more terrifying than your typical grizzly bear.

"Is something wrong, William?" Varis asked, looking at me with a smile.

I looked down into the enclosure. In particular, I looked at all the screaming and shrieking children who seemed to be so delighted by these massive monstrosities.

Like we're talking they were at least as tall as a Sasquatch. Sure, those furry fuckers weren't quite as big as the cryptid hunters always said they were once we finally found them, but still. These things were bigger than that.

"I think it's perfectly rational to be afraid of something like this," I said, staring at the creature.

"Perfectly rational?" Varis said. "Yes, I can see that a man who thinks it's a good idea to run in and take on a prince consort leading a bunch of imperial troops through the irradiated wasteland where the empress has just dropped a nuke on us would do perfectly rational things when it comes to risking life and limb,” she said, her tone flat to let me know exactly what she thought of that.

"Yes," I said, turning to her.

"A man who has augmented strength that makes you stronger than even the greatest livisk warrior on this planet, easily the equal of any of those princes consort in any of the battle links with the empress, a man who has personally flown through the heart of a star he called into the skies with nothing but sheer stupidity and bravery and lived to tell the tale, is afraid of getting hit by the force that can be brought down by a garzeth’s paw."

"Well, yes, there is that," I said, "But I still think this is a bad idea."

"Bill, do you see all the screaming children down there?"

"I do," I said.

"And do you see Sera over there preparing her stun stick?"

"Is it entirely ethical to be using something like a stun stick on wild creatures like this?" I asked.

"They are far from wild," she said, and again she had that flat tone. "They're garzeth.”

"As you keep telling me," I muttered.

"And they really don't mind," Varis said. "If they did, then they’d use their full strength, but there's never been a documented case of a garzeth doing anything like that, ever."

"People said the same thing about killer whales on our planet until they learned how to go after boats that were bothering them," I muttered.

"Killer whales?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Aquatic mammals native to the oceans on Earth," I said. "They're murderous little bastards, too. Like they take pleasure in killing in a way you don't see in many animals in nature. Well, except for humans, maybe."

"They take pleasure from killing?" Varis said, and she seemed even more interested. I could sense the link going from quiet amusement at me being terrified by something that children played with on their world to being fascinated.

"Well, yeah," I said, shrugging. "Like there are videos going back a thousand years to when video started of them doing all sorts of interesting things.”

“Such as?”

“Like swimming really fast and popping their favorite prey out of the water like a missile being launched from a submarine before they eat them, or knocking a seal, that's their favorite prey mind you, off of an ice floe before eating them, or doing a lot of crazy shit like that. They're very big on playing with their food, now that I think about it, and the only other really big megafauna predator in our oceans, great white sharks, will fuck right off if they even get a hint that there are killer whales around."

"Fascinating," Varis said. "Do you think it would be possible for me to get one of these great white sharks or killer whales for the central tube?"

I thought about the massive creatures in those central tubes, and then I thought about putting a great white or a killer whale in there.

“I don't think it's a good idea," I said.

"They are too formidable,” Varis said, nodding in a very false understanding. “They would kill the megafauna I have in there already."

"Not that,” I said. “They haven't ever been able to keep a great white in captivity. There's just something about it that kills them. They have massive ranges and they don't like being cooped up. Even in something as large as the central column in your tower."

"I see," Varis said, "And what about these killer whales?"

"We don't really keep other sapients in captivity like that anymore," I said with a shrug. "People did that once upon a time. Like there were whole amusement parks built around it, real sick shit, but we haven't done that for almost a thousand years."

"I see," Varis said. "I can understand having a respect for these mighty hunters who kill for pleasure. It would be wrong to hold them captive."

"Yeah, wrong to hold them captive," I said. Of course that was the bit she was picking up on, and not that it was wrong to hold sapients captive at all.

"Bill, Bill!”

A bundle of energy slammed into me and almost knocked the wind out of me. I grabbed Sera and whirled her around a couple of times, grinning down at her.

"Hello there, kid," I said.

"Bill, you are coming in there with me, right? You're part of a battle link and you had to fight the empress multiple times, so you're not scared of something like a garzeth, are you?"

She turned and looked at Varis with a wicked twinkle in her eye. Something told me Varis had already had a conversation with the kid about this. That or she'd picked up on my reluctance to go into an enclosure with creatures that were easily five feet high walking on all fours. Though in this case it was walking on all sixes. And when they stood on their hind legs, they were easily eight feet tall.

Like I said. Bigger than a motherfucking ‘squatch.

I looked down at her. I saw the expectant smile on her face, and then I glanced at Varis who was hitting me with a look that said I was trapped whether I liked it or not.

I grinned down at her.

"Of course, kiddo," I said, grabbing her by the shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "We're going to go in there, and we're going to fight for the glory of Varis."

"Yeah," she said. "We're fighting for the glory of Varis! Fuck the empress!”

I arched an eyebrow and turned to look up at Varis. Meanwhile, there were several livisk families with their children who were so pointedly not looking right at us that I knew they had to have overheard that, and they had to be judging us.

I couldn't be sure whether that judgment was because of the potty language, or if it was coming because she just said something you really weren't supposed to say about the empress in polite livisk society. Not unless you were suicidal and wanted a quick trip to a slow-moving disintegrator chamber.

Which, considering all the myriad ways there were for somebody to off themselves for the glory of the empress in livisk society, seemed like a really stupid and painful way to end it all. Not that I advocated for anyone ending it all.

Seriously, the world is a better place with you in it. If you ever feel like you can't take it, then reach out for help. There are people who are there for you.

I shook my head and turned my attention back to Sera. She looked up at me expectantly.

"Do you need your stun stick?" she asked, grinning at me.

I looked down into the enclosure again. It looked like it was a rainforest that was somewhere in between what one would see in the Pacific Northwest and what somebody would see in the parts of the Amazon that hadn't been irradiated by the brief exchange between the United States and Brazil about five hundred years ago.

"I don't think I need a stun stick."

None of the other parents were using stun sticks. No. When the garzeth came near them, they just engaged in hand to hand combat. Though it seemed like the garzeth were pulling their punches, or maybe it would be more accurate to say they were pulling their paw strikes. 

Either way, the livisk who were down there with their children weren't fighting with stun sticks. I got the impression that was the kind of thing that was reserved for children who needed a little bit of help in a fight. Not that I thought livisk children really needed help in a fight. They could be scrappy. Sera had proved that time and again.

"Yay, we're doing this!” she said, clapping her hands together. Or at least she was clapping her hands together as best she could, considering she was holding that stun stick. She started waving it around and making a humming noise.

"Wait, are you making lightsaber noises?"

"What's a lightsaber?" she asked, looking up at me and blinking a couple of times, which was just so darn cute.

“It’s a… never mind. What were you doing?" I asked.

"I was making plasma sword sounds just like what you do when you're fighting the empress!”

Again, there were some people who were not looking at us with such intensity that I knew they had to be staring right at us, but they didn't want to look like they were staring right at us and judging.

Only this time around it had to be for what she was saying about the empress and not because of any swear words she'd learned from any of the soldiers she'd been sparring with.

I really was going to have to have a conversation with Bronhel and the soldiers she'd been training with to make sure they knew to keep that kind of language to a minimum. For all that I was also pretty sure it was a lost cause at this point.

"I see," I said.

"Now come on. We're going to fight the garzeth and we're going to win for the glory of Varis.” She held her hand up in a fist. "Victory or death!”

I looked up at Varis. She stared at me and arched an eyebrow.

“Where the hell did she learn that one?” I asked.

"It's like I've been saying," Varis said, amusement rolling through the link even as she grinned a toothy grin at me. "You're a good influence on the kid."

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Hey, so this is a really weird one. We came across one of those probes full of cryogenically frozen people from the 20th century floating in space. It happens.

We were doing all the usual stuff. Curing them of their diseases. One of them had a really bad case of boneitis. Getting them used to life in the 24th century. Then suddenly the computer goes haywire and we're locked out.

Turns out Moriarty broke out of his little ship in a bottle and demanded we get rid of one of our time displaced guests immediately. One of the popsicles was an old Broadway producer C.C. Babcock, and he refuses to share the same ship with her for some reason.

Does anyone have any solutions? We're too far from the nearest starbase to drop them off. Engines are locked, comms are down, and he keeps telling us we need to just throw her out of an airlock. When we point out she won't be able to breathe and will die, he replicates a broom and tells us to give her that. She'll make it to the nearest planet in no time and evil never truly dies.

She's not helping the situation either. Keeps calling him Butler-boy and talking about how rich she is even though we've tried explaining we've moved past the concept of money.

Any suggestions would be great. There also seems to be a weird simmering sexual tension growing between the two of them, and I am not cleaning out the holodeck filters again.