u/daff1gao

For my entire childhood I’ve had other people solve problems for me, whether it’d be the maid cleaning my room, my parents doing an exam for me in middle school out of my free will, or when my mom always made a major decision for me all the time.

Now that I’m in my second year the IB diploma, I’m struggling. The pressure from which i was used to at home has now spiked into something that triggers panic responses. Normal students are taught to study at middle school, i was taught that people can do the studying for you if you paid them well. Now my studying muscles are weak and Im struggling to meet deadlines.

This has forced me to outsource my thinking to AI to meet deadlines. As a result, my reasoning and critical thinking skills have plummeted.

I tried to increase my tolerance to discomfort by doing sports and high intensity workouts like sprints and it worked, i can now tolerate 4 hours of deep work everyday (from 0), but lately i used my exercise time to scroll and just consume dopamine, this has made my tolerance for discomfort even weaker and my ability to work reduced to 0-2 hours a day.

One reason which made it especially hard for me to put effort is the safety net i was lucky to be born with. This safety net has allowed me to exist comfortably without putting effort, making my brain think that “hey I’m already safe and comfortable, why should I try?”

I know I can tolerate discomfort because I’ve done it before, but I don’t know how to rebuild that capacity without immediately escaping into AI/scrolling. For people who went from being heavily dependent on others to becoming genuinely self-sufficient, what actually helped you make that transition?

For my entire childhood I’ve had other people solve problems for me, whether it’d be the maid cleaning my room, my parents doing an exam for me in middle school out of my free will, or when my mom always made a major decision for me all the time.

Now that I’m in my second year the IB diploma, I’m struggling. The pressure from which i was used to at home has now spiked into something that triggers panic responses. Normal students are taught to study at middle school, i was taught that people can do the studying for you if you paid them well. Now my studying muscles are weak and Im struggling to meet deadlines.

This has forced me to outsource my thinking to AI to meet deadlines. As a result, my reasoning and critical thinking skills have plummeted.

I tried to increase my tolerance to discomfort by doing sports and high intensity workouts like sprints and it worked, i can now tolerate 4 hours of deep work everyday (from 0), but lately i used my exercise time to scroll and just consume dopamine, this has made my tolerance for discomfort even weaker and my ability to work reduced to 0-2 hours a day.

One reason which made it especially hard for me to put effort is the safety net i was lucky to be born with. This safety net has allowed me to exist comfortably without putting effort, making my brain think that “hey I’m already safe and comfortable, why should I try?”

I know I can tolerate discomfort because I’ve done it before, but I don’t know how to rebuild that capacity without immediately escaping into AI/scrolling. For people who went from being heavily dependent on others to becoming genuinely self-sufficient, what actually helped you make that transition?

Hi Reddit, I'm a 17 year old IB student and I think I have a highly sensitive nervous system (HSP) and I genuinely don't know how to manage it anymore.

Back in my boarding school era, i had complete autonomy and structure over my life. Studying felt fun cus I had friends to do it with, it didnt feel like stress, it felt like just talking. This pattern of making things less dangerous helped me with the gym, walking, and studying during the boarding school. However, in the IB, everything is different, suddenly my mom expects me to go above 40+ for medicine. I know she means well but, this has turned every study session into smt my brain has percieved “dangerous” for over a year now.

Here's what keeps happening: whenever I sit down to study something IB related, my heart rate spikes, my eyes start scanning too fast, and I literally cannot process any information. It's like my brain treats the textbook as a physical threat. In rare cases this leads to hyperventilation and almost self harm, ive been holding my best against self harm for a year but i feel like it wont last.

I also have a pattern where:
- I can only study well in very low stimulation environments (early morning, quiet rooms)
- When I try to push through avoidance my body fights back hard, resulting in spirals, physical symptoms (elevated heartrate, hyperventilating, and strong urge to run to comfort)
- Short breaks don't restore me, only long ones like sleep or physical activity
- The moment discomfort hits my brain immediately seeks escape (phone, comfort, anything)
- I've tried to "fix" this through willpower multiple times and each time I end up in a weeks-long spiral

I do have genuine moments of deep focus and high output when conditions are right or its things I choose for or like. So I know the capacity is there.

Also what makes this rlly hard for me is my increasing reliance on AI, i rely on AI on almost anything and this has atrophied my thinking muscle, making everything much harder.

My questions:

1. Is this an HSP thing, an anxiety thing, or something else?
2. How do you actually build tolerance to discomfort without triggering a full nervous system shutdown?
3. Has anyone genuinely rewired this pattern and how long did it take?

I'm not looking for "just push through it" answers. I've tried. I need something that actually works with this kind of nervous system, not against it.

Thank you.

Hi Reddit, I'm a 17 year old IB student and I think I have a highly sensitive nervous system (HSP) and I genuinely don't know how to manage it anymore.

Back in my boarding school era, i had complete autonomy and structure over my life. Studying felt fun cus I had friends to do it with, it didnt feel like stress, it felt like just talking. This pattern of making things less dangerous helped me with the gym, walking, and studying during the boarding school. However, in the IB, everything is different, suddenly my mom expects me to go above 40+ for medicine. I know she means well but, this has turned every study session into smt my brain has percieved “dangerous” for over a year now.

Here's what keeps happening: whenever I sit down to study something IB related, my heart rate spikes, my eyes start scanning too fast, and I literally cannot process any information. It's like my brain treats the textbook as a physical threat. In rare cases this leads to hyperventilation and almost self harm, ive been holding my best against self harm for a year but i feel like it wont last.

I also have a pattern where:
- I can only study well in very low stimulation environments (early morning, quiet rooms)
- When I try to push through avoidance my body fights back hard, resulting in spirals, physical symptoms (elevated heartrate, hyperventilating, and strong urge to run to comfort)
- Short breaks don't restore me, only long ones like sleep or physical activity
- The moment discomfort hits my brain immediately seeks escape (phone, comfort, anything)
- I've tried to "fix" this through willpower multiple times and each time I end up in a weeks-long spiral

I do have genuine moments of deep focus and high output when conditions are right or its things I choose for or like. So I know the capacity is there.

Also what makes this rlly hard for me is my increasing reliance on AI, i rely on AI on almost anything and this has atrophied my thinking muscle, making everything much harder.

My questions:

1. Is this an HSP thing, an anxiety thing, or something else?
2. How do you actually build tolerance to discomfort without triggering a full nervous system shutdown?
3. Has anyone genuinely rewired this pattern and how long did it take?

I'm not looking for "just push through it" answers. I've tried. I need something that actually works with this kind of nervous system, not against it.

Thank you.

Hi Reddit, I'm a 17 year old IB student and I think I have a highly sensitive nervous system (HSP) and I genuinely don't know how to manage it anymore.

Back in my boarding school era, i had complete autonomy and structure over my life. Studying felt fun cus I had friends to do it with, it didnt feel like stress, it felt like just talking. This pattern of making things less dangerous helped me with the gym, walking, and studying during the boarding school. However, in the IB, everything is different, suddenly my mom expects me to go above 40+ for medicine. I know she means well but, this has turned every study session into smt my brain has percieved “dangerous” for over a year now.

Here's what keeps happening: whenever I sit down to study something IB related, my heart rate spikes, my eyes start scanning too fast, and I literally cannot process any information. It's like my brain treats the textbook as a physical threat. In rare cases this leads to hyperventilation and almost self harm, ive been holding my best against self harm for a year but i feel like it wont last.

I also have a pattern where:
- I can only study well in very low stimulation environments (early morning, quiet rooms)
- When I try to push through avoidance my body fights back hard, resulting in spirals, physical symptoms (elevated heartrate, hyperventilating, and strong urge to run to comfort)
- Short breaks don't restore me, only long ones like sleep or physical activity
- The moment discomfort hits my brain immediately seeks escape (phone, comfort, anything)
- I've tried to "fix" this through willpower multiple times and each time I end up in a weeks-long spiral

I do have genuine moments of deep focus and high output when conditions are right or its things I choose for or like. So I know the capacity is there.

Also what makes this rlly hard for me is my increasing reliance on AI, i rely on AI on almost anything and this has atrophied my thinking muscle, making everything much harder.

My questions:

1. Is this an HSP thing, an anxiety thing, or something else?
2. How do you actually build tolerance to discomfort without triggering a full nervous system shutdown?
3. Has anyone genuinely rewired this pattern and how long did it take?

I'm not looking for "just push through it" answers. I've tried. I need something that actually works with this kind of nervous system, not against it.

Thank you.
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