u/daidai_cutie101

So.. as you all know, I am a dark romance reader and dark romance beginner writer. I write more than I read to be honest, but I've mentioned it a couple times. But.. before I joined this subreddit, I joined the other subreddit. The dark romance one. It was to see what it was about. I didn't stay long, I left as fast as I joined, lol. I didn't read all of the posts, I just left because something in me said that subreddit wasn't a good space for me, especially with how much I've grown since my high school years, I didn't want that subreddit putting me back in that dark place I've worked out of too much.

But.. before I joined this subreddit.. I was actually hesitant if any of you would've accepted me or not because of the fact that I am a dark romance reader and writer. But.. I joined this server anyways.. because I didn't want to go back to that dark romance one. I was going to leave this one because of my fears if you all would accept me or not, but I decided to stay here, and I'm glad I did, because this one feels safer than that other one and I was right in my intuition. Maybe it was fear that if I said anything in regards to a critique, I would've gotten bashed for it, and it would make sense if that subreddit is full of weirdos. And because I've known about this genre since I was a child, I wanted to give my critique as well. I figured it would help me figure myself out in the process.

And.. to be honest.. reading all of your critiques really did make me realize that I was subjected to things that would've put me in an even darker place if I didn't walk out on my own strength. Especially when I write my own critiques about this genre, I want to cry out in tears of happiness because of the progress I've made and I'm able to understand why people are so critical of this genre and why they avoid it so much. I stopped consuming what those weird and creepy authors were putting out, and decided that I wanted to write my own books, and how I wanted them to be, without the influence of other people, who would've wanted something darker and disgusting. And.. because of my experience and everyone's critiques/experiences with this genre, I really do want to be a change, even if I'm the only one who's willing to do it. I know it sounds weird and impossible, but I still want to.

That's why I joined this subreddit. Yes, my hesitation was due to the fear of being rejected and all, and I was going to leave because of that fear, but I'm staying. I feel safer here, even though I still feel that fear of being rejected every now and then.

..I'm sorry if my post got a little personal and if it was unnecessary. I just.. needed to get that out. I feel safe here despite that fear of being rejected. But.. don't be afraid to speak to me.. if you want to. I usually lurk and observe what other people say and then I'll post or give out comments. But.. I am grateful this subreddit exists. Truly.

I had to do more because there's a lot more to unpack. I did 11 on my first post, so I'm making a part 2 for this genre. And I'm going to add FMC as well because there are some of those out there even though the main abuser is the man:

1. Poor representation of consent - Y'all already know how horrible these authors write consent. It's either there and poorly written or it's not there at all.
2. Straight up bullying - I don't need to explain this one. We already know that a lot of these MMCs/FMCs bully the hell out of their "lovers" and say, "I didn't know how to express myself," like please shut your lying ass up.. 'Bully Romance' is lame to me in my opinion.
3. The emotional immaturity - This plays into pet peeve #1. I swear they're so emotionally immature and people think that's attractive. How're you a grown ass adult and can't get your emotions in check and take your anger out on your "lover" or the people around you? Get therapy or something...
4. Poorly representing Stockholm Syndrome in the victims - I have characters of my own who go through this and I bet these authors are "trying" to show this when it comes to the victims forgiving their abusers/rapists and falling in love with them, but they do it so poorly to the point where it's disrespectful. If you're going to show Stockholm Syndrome, do it right.
5. No consequences - I don't understand why the MMC/FMC gets no consequences for their shitty actions towards other people and their "lover" and when said consequences do happen, it's so minor to the point where they're non-existent.
6. The other FMC's/MMC's appearance - Why does the other one always look... small? I'm not talking about height this time, I mean in weight. And I don't mean small and fit/healthy, I mean small in terms of being underweight and malnourishment. If the authors are "trying" to show malnourishment, that's understandable because that's important, but they do such a horrible job at it to the point where it just looks like they're saying, "This is the weak character."
7. Using trauma as a justification - I'm so sick of this. Just because you had a horrible past, doesn't mean other people who had nothing to do with your life in your past, deserves to be treated like shit and too many times do the MMC/FMC do that to their friends and/or "lover".
8. "Fiction doesn't affect reality" - The foolery people say to justify their weird/creepy fantasies and place them in their stories. There's a different between writing a story with proper representation of whatever is in your story, and just writing your own weird/creepy eroticas and getting off on it. And there's a difference in reading/watching something and getting off while reading/watching it. It's affecting you.
9. Poor representation of enemies-to-lovers - I've made a comment about this before, but if you're going to add this into your dark romance, both characters need to be shown actively hating each other and actively falling in love with a plot that makes sense, and good representations across the board. A lot of these authors are doing 'Bully Romance' which makes it confusing for some readers who don't know the difference yet.
10. Other FMC/MMC with little to no friends or no support system - Why does it look like the other main character have little to no friends in these books?? They either have friends who don't care or don't have any friends at all. The isolation puts me in a dark mood because why doesn't it feel like the character has someone they can rely on to help them?
11. "It's my coping mechanism" - Maybe it's your coping mechanism, but you're recommending it to someone else as well. This genre might not be their coping mechanism. Don't recommend stuff that people are uncomfortable with just because it's how you cope with what you went through. It's called 🌟Respect🌟. It goes a long way.
12. Excusing/Justifying shitty behavior because of attractiveness - This needs to end. Why's this happening? It's just disrespectful.
13. Dehumanization - Can't tell me this doesn't happen in these stories. The other FMC/MMC gets berated and treated like slaves/tools for their amusement. It's revolting. And then authors try to make it a point of a romantic plot. It's so disgusting...
14. No Romance - I'm going to keep adding this because it's the main thing. 'Dark Romance' is supposed to have romance, but there's none or if it is... it's poorly written. These "Romance Authors" need to stop polluting the air with their slop if they can't write a romantic story without disrespecting victims and their trauma and adding onto it.

..14 is a lot. I've made 25 pet peeves altogether. Never realized how many there are until you go down the rabbit hole, but this is a problem.

So.. this subreddit feels safe for me to talk about this, so I want to.

Years ago, when I was a teenager, probably my early teenage years or when I was 15, I wrote a fanfiction about my character, Tina Sasaki, and a persona 5 character named Goro Akechi. I used to send the link to a friend of mine who’s two years older and he used to critique it and things like that. But he had told me to make Akechi hurt Tina and ignore her and things like that, so I was hesitant at first, but I put it in anyways.

That played into our roleplays. Tina would be abused by Akechi. I didn’t question it myself until I was either 16 or 17. I deleted the book and it was only 4-5 chapters in, so it was pretty much in the early stages, thankfully. The roleplays stopped too. I regretted that book and the roleplays… and I’m thankful I got rid of it. I redid the book, but instead of having only Tina going through the abuse and being ignored or berated, she’s doing the same thing to Akechi, so it’s not one-sided.

All in all.. we were both young and stupid because “It’s fictional,” as people say, so it shouldn’t matter, but it matters a lot. And I was stupid for listening to him in the first place and should’ve trusted my hesitation and not put it in. And I do apologize for it. Truly. We’re both older now, so we aren’t as dumb as we were back then as teenagers. Well.. I hope he isn’t as dumb either anymore.

The reason I’m saying all of this is because dark romance authors and that friend had already taught me at a young age that abuse = romance and it doesn’t. And they taught him that too apparently. And I’m thankful that I was younger than most people are nowadays when I stopped and realized that it wasn’t cool at all. And I want to be one of the few authors who can be a change in the genre. I’m still a beginner writer, but I want to be that change for people, especially for us women.

I have a lot of pet peeves when it comes to this genre. I'll list them.

1. Of course, the main one is how poorly people show abuse and rape/sexual assault.
2. The guys all look and act the same. Me personally, I don't care if the guy is tall and has slicked back hair and if the color is black, but why do their facial features look the same? I get it, they're supposed to be serious and intimidating, but they all look so... generic?? And act alike? It's like they have no personality and it's the same character all over again.
3. All of the guys have a HUGE wiener. If it's not ALL of them... it's a lot of them. ..Realistically, not a lot of people, women mainly, since majority of the time, the other main character is a woman, can fit an 8-inch wiener inside of them.
4. Damn near every time you see the other main character paired with the big, tall guy, they're short as hell. I'm not saying short characters don't exist because short people exist in real life. I'm 5'2. But I believe it's okay to have tall characters with the big, tall guy every now and then. Or why can't there be one where the guy is shorter than the girl? Yes, normally, men are taller than women, but there are some tall ladies in the real world too! Give them some love!
5. Sometimes it feels like the big, tall guy has NO hobbies outside of hurting people, smoking, drinking, and having sex... which plays into my 2nd pet peeve. They have no personality and they all look and act the same. Like damn, play pool or something. Or.. I don't know.. go fishing. Just do SOMETHING that doesn't involve you hurting people and being an asshole 24/7!
6. The big, tall guy is always possessive and I hardly see the other main character, that's most likely a woman, being possessive too. Like.. hello?? Why can't she be dangerous in her own right too? Why can't she be just as possessive and crazy as the guy?
7. I know this is in these books somewhere, and while I haven't seen it yet, or I have and forgot about it, I'm gonna say it. I CAN'T stand the other main character that's with the big, tall guy, written to be innocent like a child. That is a grown ass person. Sure, they're fictional characters, but if you're writing an adult... 'Why're their personality traits similar to a little kid??'
8. Too much smut. Where's the romance?? The plot??
9. Speaking of pet peeve #8... WHERE IS THE DAMN ROMANCE? I get it, it's 'Dark Romance'. I've been in this genre majority of my life, basically, and I haven't left it, but that doesn't mean I'm not critical of it... and I am. So where is the romance? There still should be romance, tension, chemistry... 'Where is it??'
10. Why aren't there enough guys being submissive and the girls being dominant? A lot of these books have the guys just being dominant and commanding, but not the girl doing the same thing. There is a thing called 'switching'. It's okay to have girls be top and the guys be bottom.
11. Age Gaps. Now.. I don't mind them... but the younger characters have to be in their 20s and older. 18-year-olds are still in high school as well, but a lot of authors do 18 and 19 because the law says, "legal adults". Where are the age gaps where BOTH of them are ACTUAL adults and not with the younger one being barely "legal" cause the law said so??

I know 11 pet peeves doesn't seem like a lot, but when you think about it, it is a lot in a way, lol. So.. what're your pet peeves and did I miss anything or get anything wrong??

The main topics in this genre is rape and abuse of any kind. I believe that it is perfectly fine to write these kinds of things in media, as long as it's taken seriously. Some people like to think that talking about these topics negatively keeps us, people in North America, from seeing the media. The thing is, rape and abuse is SUPPOSED to be talked about negatively, because they're negative things. Just because someone says, "I don't like this," doesn't mean we're trying to stay "You can't watch/read it." Just because you read or watch something with a taboo topic, doesn't automatically make you a bad person. What makes people wary of you... is when you're trying to romanticize the very things that causes severe trauma to the victims who have gone through rape and any form of abuse or trying to make people be okay with your rape kinks and rape fantasies. It's weird.

And in the Dark Romance genre, a lot of stories that are coming into light, even the old books and movies that have been glorifying these things to make it seem like it's a good thing. It's not. If you want to write how two people are mutually toxic towards each other, that's perfectly fine. Just don't try and make it seem like it's a positive thing. It's not. If you want to write about abuse, rape, or any topic like that, it has to be taken seriously with no one romancing it and joking about it. I am a dark romance reader and a dark romance beginner writer myself. I have been in this genre since I was a child, but I understand WHY people have issues with the genre. Too many authors take this thing and try to glorify things that aren't something to glorify.

A lot of people would say, "This is why [Insert Content] is only staying in Japan," and things like that, and the content itself is just glorifying horrendous acts. Nobody wants content crossing over globally that glorifies and romanticizes their trauma. It's disrespectful. Just because it's fiction, doesn't mean it cannot affect reality. It can. If the content you're consuming is affecting you in reality, then it very much affects you. Just like the topics you put into your content can very much affect the victims who have gone through these things.

It is important to know that it is okay to read/watch and write things that have topics like this in them. But it's not okay to try and justify these actions and to glorify them. That's the problem a lot of people have and it's not JUST in this genre, it's across any media, but Dark Romance is one of those genres that glorified them too much and it's sickening.

So, as a new person here, and someone who loves dark romance stories, and is a beginner dark romance writer on Wattpad, I was honestly surprised when I heard that these stories nowadays have so much erotic horror and things like that. I always thought it was just... vampires, demons, werewolves, or someone killing people for the person they love. I'm still surprised about it to this day, especially when I used to see things related to the mafia, I always saw the boss killing people FOR their lover.

Like... I get it, it's supposed to be 'dark romance' but I don't remember dark romance being... THAT.

So.. Grok limits are all over the place. Before, I had to wait 2 hours, then it went up to 12 hours, then it went back to 2 hours, just for it to go up to 24 hours. And the account I’m using has Premium on Twitter. It’s now 40 per 24 hours. I have another account that I’m using that’s not on Premium and it’s 20 per 24 hours.

People cannot make an app or build a company, and then be so inconsistent because they want to milk money out of everyone. It gets annoying, especially to those who actually enjoy the things they’re doing because of the app and/or company.

And for Elon to be as rich as he is, he should’ve stayed with making his cars instead of taking over Twitter, changing it to ‘X’ which is an ugly ass name in my opinion, then make an app/feature that’s so inconsistent and no updates on the matter.

The reason I became very interested in Greek Mythology was because of the God of War games, specifically, God of War 3. It was very random too, lol. Then I started making my own Greek deities and mortals and wanting to be as accurate to the myths as much as possible because there are so many that it’s hard to keep up sometimes, but I still did it. And now.. here I am in the subreddit, lol.

If you all are interested in knowing about my characters, I can tell you! I’m a little embarrassed, but I’m always happy to share whenever someone’s interested ☺️

When it comes to the myths, can you just make up anything about the Gods and Goddesses? I imagine that you can because there are so many myths about the Greek deities that we can use whichever wants we want, or just.. create our own? Because.. when it comes to Aphrodite, for me, I like to picture her as the daughter of Gaia and Uranus after.. you know.. Cronos cuts Uranus genitals off and it landed in the sea, hence Aphrodite’s birth. And for Ares, I imagine him being a war hungry bastard, but a ladies’ man.