u/danny_valtina

I live with my mom and my sister in an apartment in NYC. For the past couple of days, my mom has started saying that she wants a dog, and honestly, I think I want one too. I grew up surrounded by dogs, and I know what the experience is like.

The thing is, now that I'm a grown-up, of course I'm gonna have financial responsibility, my mom and my sister too. We want to adopt, but I'm thinking about all the money a dog requires: vaccines, food, bed, and everything else. Additionally, the time. My mom and I work full-time, and my sister has a part-time job, but I'm in school, and my schedule changes regularly. I'm afraid of getting a dog and not being able to provide the life it deserves.

I only have "free" time after 6, and I go to the gym or to school. So, I don't know. My mom looks very excited about the idea, but at the same time she says that she is not the only one who wants a dog. I don't know if it's gonna be a good idea, but I would like to give a dog a home. We were thinking of a small 9 M.O or 1 YO dog.

I live with my mom and my sister in an apartment in NYC. For the past couple of days, my mom has started saying that she wants a dog, and honestly, I think I want one too. I grew up surrounded by dogs, and I know what the experience is like.

The thing is, now that I'm a grown-up, of course I'm gonna have financial responsibility, my mom and my sister too. We want to adopt, but I'm thinking about all the money a dog requires: vaccines, food, bed, and everything else. Additionally, the time. My mom and I work full-time, and my sister has a part-time job, but I'm in school, and my schedule changes regularly. I'm afraid of getting a dog and not being able to provide the life it deserves.

I only have "free" time after 6, and I go to the gym or to school. So, I don't know. My mom looks very excited about the idea, but at the same time she says that she is not the only one who wants a dog. I don't know if it's gonna be a good idea, but I would like to give a dog a home. We were thinking of a small 9 M.O or 1 YO dog.

I have a friend who had an appointment to get a Real ID. He had all the documents: bills, a lease, his last ID, and immigration status documents; he even had two copies of everything. For those who are not familiar with the USCIS website, everything is there; you just get some documents mailed, but everything is on the website, especially if you sign up for paperless.

Well, he was sent back home without the ID because they wanted the original of one of the papers related to his immigration status; I mean, that's fine. But the original is on the website, and he printed it. I don't understand; it's like they didn't know how a website works.

My stepmom has been in my life since I was very young, and I consider her my mom because she raised me and has always been there for me. Three years ago, I moved to the U.S., while she stayed in Venezuela with my dad and brother. She is now asking me to lend her all of my savings, around $5,000, and says she will pay me back by September 1. She needs the money to open a preschool because she is a teacher.

She sold an apartment, but gave it to the buyer before receiving the full payment, and now the buyer still owes her around $15,000. I trust that she has good intentions, but I do not trust that she will actually be able to repay me, especially because sending money from Venezuela to the U.S. is difficult. I also know that lending money to family can ruin relationships. Would I be wrong for refusing to lend her the money?

I’m Venezuelan, and I live in the United States. My dad, my stepmom, and my siblings still live in Venezuela. My family is Colombian-Venezuelan, so I grew up in a culture where, for better or worse, there’s often an obsession with physical appearance.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about something that really bothers me.

My dad and my stepmom (whom I love very much) are forcing my 17-year-old brother to attend a Christian church. What stands out to me is that they were never particularly religious or churchgoing. I was telling my mom that, regardless of whether religion can be something positive for some people, I don’t think it’s right to force a 17-year-old to practice it if he doesn’t want to.

My mom replied that I should stop criticizing them because the situation in Venezuela is very hard and they probably need something to believe in and hold on to. I can understand that argument, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it.

But then she said something that left me confused.

She told me that I don’t like being criticized either, that when someone says I’m “a little chubbier,” it bothers me, and that therefore I shouldn’t criticize my dad’s decisions.

I felt like that comparison made no sense.

One thing is questioning a decision that affects a teenager’s autonomy and religious freedom. Something completely different is receiving comments about my body—something no one asked for, and that has nothing to do with the conversation.

Also, this topic affects me because in many Latin families there seems to be a fixation on physical appearance. What’s ironic is that those criticisms often come from people who don’t do anything to take care of their own health or physical condition.

In my case, I exercise regularly because I enjoy it. I don’t do it because I feel forced to. I’ve always been a woman with a larger, stronger build, and now I’m okay with that, even though from a young age I struggled (and maybe I'm still struggling a little bit) because I never fit into being slim and petite—and my family has definitely made that clear to me.

My mom, on the other hand, used to be very disciplined with exercise when she was younger, but about ten years ago she stopped completely. Since then, she’s fallen into a fairly sedentary routine. I’ve tried many times to motivate her to get back into some kind of physical activity, even just for her health or to feel better, but she simply doesn’t want to.

That’s also why it frustrates me that instead of talking about the issue we were discussing, the conversation ended up shifting to my body, as if that were a valid way to respond to my argument.

Do you think I’m being too sensitive, or did the comparison really have nothing to do with it?