Once again I had a male recruiter who cannot control his emotions and lashed out when I told him no.
The rate was criminally low, like I'm talking junior starting in 2008 low.
He proceeds to tell me...
"Oh I guess you don't need money. Your husband got good job? Buy you all the handbags?" then hung up on me.
Boy, plz. Even if I was a handbag girly I can buy my own. I'm a woman in tech.
Well I tried to do something nice for one sister and it has blown up in my face because I didn't consider or do something nice for the other one... I'm so exhausted and I'm not even the one with kids.
For a bit of background I posted a few days ago for ideas on how to celebrate my sister who is going through a divorce for mothers day.
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/s/SrKjXFtC46
Well I collaborated with that sister, we will call her April, she's going through a nasty divorce, like restraining order needed type divorce so I wanted to make sure SOMEONE did something for her on mother's Day cause she's been so stressed. She decided to have it at our mother's house so not to leave mom out. Cool. I coordinate with Mom and buy groceries, I cook for everyone, buy flowers for everyone... Including my other sister, 39f we will call her Jane.
I assumed Jane was going to have mother's day celebration with her husband and child. I didn't collab with her we don't talk often. I'm not as close to her. But I did try to call mother's day morning before heading to moms and I did buy her flowers. She didn't pick up so I assumed she was sleeping in.
While at mother's celebrating with April and her kids, Jane calls. Mom tells her we were all together and I had put this party together for April making it seem like a big to do...
Jane gets upset she wasn't invited, which...fair. I was too busy thinking of April I hadn't thought to include Jane and just assumed she'd rather be with her husband. I didn't know her husband had to work cause we don't talk regularly. She only ever talks to me if I reach out.
Sooo Jane posted in the group chat I'm not in that it is clear nobody loves her and blocked mom. I left her flowers at her house cause she wouldn't answer my texts or phone.
This isn't the first time Jane has given us the silent treatment before. Last time I got on her bad side it took 2 years before she'd answer my texts.
I don't want to give up because I want to be part of my nieces life so I'm looking for advice for how to navigate a person who is like this. I'm also looking for advice on how to navigate future attempts of being thoughtful for April when I don't have the time, energy or money to duplicate the efforts for both families. April is going through more right now.... Jane has the expectations of "fairness" but I don't think that's reasonable...
My sister doesn't have a partner to celebrate the holiday with her this year, for the first time (ugly divorce). She is coming here for mother's Day to get out of the house and so she doesn't have to do any clean up.
I want to make this an incredible day and pamper her. We are making it a staycation because crowds+little kids is a rough combo for mom.
That said what are some things I can do for her?
And for the kids?
I don't have any kids. Im getting some toys for them though. Hopefully new toys are engaging enough.
I'm looking for ideas that won't create extra labor for a mom who already has to do everything
My sister (37) is going through an absolutely nasty divorce right now. Her MIL is pretty evil and petty, her husband is not much better. My sister has been emotionally and financially abused by this man and isolated from the support of her family for years.
I am so heartbroken for her and it's been a huge struggle and for the most part she's still on her own because I work too much to travel to see her. I haven't seen her since last year for Thanksgiving. I even missed her birthday.
My mom loves mother's day and being celebrated. She has upstaged my sisters for years with expectations that her daughters come over with gifts and flowers. It's basically Xmas for mom. I don't mind this I love my mother but this year I really want to support my sister and her kids.
I can't do both. They're in opposite directions for travel. My mother is too old to travel she can't drive. Plus if we go to moms house it will be focused on her
I have to choose.
I want to pick my sister. She's going through so much right now and I just know husband and MIL are going to make things miserable. I'd like to take her and my nieces out for the day to unwind and take care of everything (food, entertainment, watching the kids)...
But my mom got really upset at the suggestion. My sister isn't my mom and since I'm the only one without kids I need to prioritize her.