u/dartsdaughter

My father was a raging bigot and we started a lifelong conflict because of a denim jacket I bought from a 'girls' clothing store when I was 16. It turned to all out hostilities when I got my ears pierced when I was 24(?).

People often say "it's the older generation who are most transphobic", except, I am the older generation, the older generation are people I've known for 30+ years.

There are however others older still.

I was outside earlier cleaning the car in mud stained jeans and a full hoodie, hair all over the place, unshaven 'cause it's an electrolysis day.

One of the older men in our village stopped, he must be 80+, we said hello I don't think I've ever spoken with him before.

"You're such a busy girl", he told me.

I'm on cloud 9.

It was inevitably going to happen.

It was today.

½ way through a 2 hour session, my 36th since the beginning of February, the relentless experience became too much and I broke down in tears.

For some reason the pain was the worst today but it is having facial hair that triggers me and I lay there working out how long this will have to go on.

With 70 hours since February and sporadic failed attempts before that I must be over 100 hours and all I have to show are a few thinner patches.

100 hours of intense pain for which I have paid £ thousands and given up days and days vs a few razor blades and apparently my motivation is so I can stare at women in changing rooms.

For many years [before I transitioned- edit] I thought about going but it didn't seem to be the place to talk about being a trans woman. And equally I felt I couldn't go to a women's group. So I internalised and it did me no good.

I'm now sat in a bar between pole classes (drinking sparkling water) and a chap wearing a Man's Club t-shirt is handing out leaflets, he took one look at me and moved on.

My Man's Club days are past.

I walked out of a cafe yesterday straight into the path of my son.

"Hi" I said.

He looked at me for a second and then said ....

Well, it's quite weird when your family no longer recognise you.

I think I sometimes lose sight of just how far I have come.

And I don't have a picture 😕

As I posted last week, I went to enter a local event and there was the 'sex assigned at birth' question.

I questioned the legality and got this back earlier:

"Thank you for your email.

Under UK sports policy it is perfectly lawful for a women’s race to ask entrants their “sex at birth” in order to categorise participants by sex. National sports guidance explicitly states that “categorisation by sex is lawful, and hence the requirement to request information relating to birth sex is appropriate”.

In practice this means race organisers (including ARC‑affiliated events under UK Athletics/ARC permits) may include a birth‑sex field on entry forms to ensure runners enter the correct sex category. No one is forced to answer, but the guidance notes that failure to provide birth‑sex information may prevent someone from competing in the category they have chosen.

This approach is consistent with the Equality Act 2010’s single‑sex sports exception (which allows women‐only events) and with UK Athletics/ARC policies for mass participation races. In short, there is no legal bar on asking for sex-at-birth in this context – in fact it is standard practice to enable fair competition under the sex‑segregated category system.

Sources: UK Sports Councils guidance on transgender inclusion (July 2021) – point 7: “categorisation by sex is lawful… [and] request information relating to birth sex is appropriate”

I think this is not in any way a legal interpretation of the 2010 EA.

At this stage they will have figured I am trans but do not know I have a GRC and birth certificate that says 'girl'.

I have asked if this is now a standard question.

If it is, then my interpretation is that it is indirect discrimination as it will exclude me from any event and my full membership of the local club therefore has less benefits than any other member.

Moreover if I am placed in the male finishers list then that is going to out me which violates article 8 of the European Convention as well as my rights under the 2004 GRA.

I am also going to make the case that there should be a clear statement on the web site and membership application that the club is not inclusive as it claims but discriminates against trans (and possibly therefore nonbinary and intersex) people.

I foresee the outcome being I ask for a full refund of my membership.

No matter what, I will be withdrawing from the club.

Any thoughts greatly appreciated as now I'm in a hole I should perhaps stop digging