u/deargentlewriter

So, my boyfriend is going to a party with a bunch of new friends he just met and decided not to bring me because he is ashamed of me.

He said, "I am going there to make friends and socialize and I don't want to keep entertain you."

I am not an introvert. I definitely do go parties, events, hiking club, run club, book club and yes, with my friends, I never really go these alone but I do make new friends along the way BUT my boyfriend never follow me to any of these before because different hobbies.

So why he got such opinion of me?

The first week into our relationship, my bf brought me to meet his friends. I was socially awkward at first because he was my first bf and I just don't know how to even.... .. yup..

Apparently my bf hates it. He said, his friends were talking bad about me, how quiet and unfriendly I was. Few months later, I became close to all them I apologized for being quiet and unfriendly at first. They all looked confused, I told them what my bf said. They laughed and told me they never said such thing.

Which btw 6 months later, all of them no longer friends with my bf because they were too introverts for him. LOL.

Back to few days ago, he told me he is going to party, this weekend and he doesn't want to bring me because he is ashamed of me.

I got upset because every time he wants to do something fun or go have fun. He would bring new friends but not me. We also barely go out on any dates because he is still studying and I'm working. I don't mind paying but his egoistic tells him man should pay but dude willing to go out with his friends but not with me?? Because I'm too quiet????

Nah, I'm not buying that.

Anyways, present time. He is not talking to me. He is upset that I am upset with him and said I shouldn't be upset and be more understanding and change myself to be more extrovert and more approachable because he finds me uncomfortable and my first interaction with his friends when we were just one week old into the relationship has left a mark on him and he will no longer bring me around anymore unless I change.

So am I overreacting?

My brother (32M) have been planning for Mother's Day surprised for our mom but I (28F) told him his plan may not work.

His plans were:-

1. He told mom he wasn't coming home this weekend
2. I will have to bring mom to the restaurant he selected
3. And he will surprise her there

Why I think this won't work?

1. I recently got into a bicycle accident so I'm unable to drive
2. My mom hates driving anywhere far and the selected location was pretty far away

So I told him, its best you could come home, hide in a room or something but he got a bit frustrated because he's been planning this for 2 weeks, he said.

Then I told him, we'll take uber if anything.

But he don't like the idea of our mom taking uber so he said he will sort out a better plan and will get back to me.

Mother's Day is this Sunday! It's Saturday today and he hadn't gotten back to me. What do I do? What's a better plan? Any suggestion?

Disclaimer: This happened about 2 years ago.

MID 2024:

My friend, let's call her Cindy (26F) have cheated on Aaron, boyfriend of 10 months whom they met at work with Bum, another guy, who is in the same department as Aaron.

FAST FORWARD FEW MONTHS LATER FEB 2025:

Cindy thankfully finally broke up with Aaron and started dating Bum but also "we're taking it slow."

Then one day, she called me. We hung out.

She spilled some bad tea on me.
Her first love has recently contacted her, she told me she still loves him and so did he.
Backstory: This guy.. had a long term relationship with her when they were in high school but eventually broke up because he wanted to get married as soon as they were done with high school meanwhile she wasn't ready for marriage. After they broke up, she got into multiple relationships in college, in uni and now work.

And honestly I can see why her first love still loves her. Cindy was really nice person, she was polite, she was every MIL dream DIL and for awhile she was like a sister to me until her cheating skills has became really uncomfortable for me because no one at work knows except for me.

And THAT WAS WRONG. I went off on her before about how bad this was to Aaron and when she told me about her first love, I went off on her.

FAST FORWARD FEW MONTHS LATER APR 2025:

Few months later, she texted me.

She told me she and Bum didn't work out and then she got engaged with her first love.
Instead of being happy and cheering in joy. I was in shocked. If you see the timeline.. I felt like she was cheating from the beginning whenever she was comfortable to?

She did told me her relationship with her first love was on and off and her relationship with Aaron was on and off too hence why she kept her relationship so private.

Then she proceed to tell me, "before we get officiate, I went to meet Bum and we talked a long time in my car."

I... I got even more speechless.

She invited me to her wedding and won't allow me to bring up Bum's name to her bridemaids and doesn't allow me to post on my socials because then our colleagues (Aaron and Bum) knows she got married unless I hide them from my story.

SO am I wrong for not going to her wedding because I.. just didn't know how to be her friend anymore. And that just feel uncomfortable going?

Edit:
The wedding was last year. I felt bad not going because I had a close relationship with her mom. Her mom, Cindy and a few of her bridemaids were calling me on the day itself

and yes, I did try to shorten the story because it was too long.

Another edit:
To clarified, I did tell Aaron and the first love about her cheating. They already know before I told them and still decided to continue the relationship. And YES, I only told the people who were in the relationship with her. But the people who know were her mom and her sister.

**UPDATE**
I'm not sure if this is how you update stuff but after talking to few people in DMs and here. I realized I'm not wrong and I don't need to feel bad or regret just because our friendship were good while it lasted, her family were nice and sweet to me. I'm grateful for what I have and always will be. I miss our friendship, that will never change. I'm not her type of girls' girl and I'm okay with that. Cheating is just not it for me.

For anyone asking, why did I still be friends after the first cheating incident?
Because she promised she would stopped and I've known her for few years. I know she wasn't someone who break promises but turns out when it comes to feelings, it was hard for her to keep promises. The last time I talked to her was Feb 2025 but on Apr 2025, she dm me on IG because I blocked her number, she asked if she call me because she really needed someone to talk to. So I gave in. At first I was happy she broke up with Bum but didn't expect the phone call to be an engagement announcement and another cheating scandal.

I didn't immediately hang up. Instead, I told her as nicely as I can without anger that I wasn't coming to the wedding. Please remove me from your guestlist and let someone else take the bridemaid responsibility. But my request was ignored.

But anyways, sorry for the long essay. All is well. If you have any questions, I'll answer in the comment below.

Have a great day :)

please don't be mean. there's a real human with human feelings behind this. thank you <3
sorry for my grammar, this isn't my first language.