scared and in the dark
nothing is scarier than being undiagnosed and not truly knowing. every single day it only gets worse and worse. i’m in pain all day, all night, whether i’m standing or laying, im always in pain and always feel like im on the verge of passing out. functioning is so, so hard. i’m so exhausted and miserable, my brain fog is so severe i have to think extra hard about anything i want to say or do. i feel so out of it and disconnected. it’s so sad thinking about how i felt just a few months ago and thinking it was bad, having no idea it could get even worse and now wishing i could go back in time to how i felt back then. i suspect mcas and dysautonomia but i have no confirmation, i’m still waiting on blood test results and any sort of word from my doctor. im only on step one of a very long journey and it’s terrifying. it feels like there’s no end to how bad it can get. i hate the unknown. i’m so so so scared and it feels like no one is taking this seriously. i don’t know what to do or how to comfort myself anymore