u/diggystrash

My bf and I have been dating for 5 years. When we first started dating, I realized by bf would go to the bathroom minutes after eating and would always spend 20+ minutes in the bathroom.

I would casually mention that sitting on the toilet that long isn’t good for your health but he would always brush me off.

Once we moved in together 2 years ago and got more confortable, I noticed even more about his bathroom habits.

He would sometimes come into the bathroom while I was showering to use the restroom. I told him that it didn’t sound normal. I said it sounded like he was having stomach issues and asked if he ate anything wrong. He always tells me it’s normal and that’s how it always comes out when he uses the restroom.

That’s when the pieces started falling into place. I asked him if he ever thought he was lactose intolerant tolerant. He denied it adamantly and got kinda defensive so I dropped it.

I was curious and decided to buy fairlife milk for him one day. My bf loves drinking chocolate milk.

My bf and I had a movie night when he first tried the lactose free milk. And it was the first time he didn’t have to leave for a bathroom break during the movie.

I gently tried suggesting again that he might be lactose intolerant and he got defensive again so I dropped it.

For both our sake’s once we moved, we decided to get a place where we each have our own bathrooms.

It’s helped with the smells but it can be kinda annoying sometimes when we go out with friends and he disappears to the bathroom for a long time once we’re done eating.

I just don’t understand why he’s so against the idea of being lactose intolerant. He’s very gassy and gets a lot of acne after eating dairy but refuses to see the connection.

I had him out of the bedroom last night after we had some ice cream from a local dairy farm cuz the smells were too foul and I couldn’t fall asleep.

Is it worth convincing him to try lactaid? Are there better ways to talk to him about it?

Tl;dr my bf blows up the toilet after eating dairy and gets annoyed when I suggest he might be lactose intolerant.

Until I moved out, I had no privacy. There were cameras in my room. And around the entire house. I would be confronted if I shaved my body hair and questioned about my food choices. Even my bank account was monitored to check my purchases.

My phone was regularly checked so I always had to find ways to sneak around to communicate with people.

I’m living on my own now. I have my own bank account that only I have access to. But I can’t shake the feeling of still being watched.

Even though I’m alone, I can’t help but feel on edge like I have no sense of privacy. It’s been 2 months out of the house but I can’t shake the feeling.

Does it ever get better?