u/diovontay

I have found that African fathers tend to be the main culprits of creating broken homes and creating dysfunction within african families, my dad was abusive, unfaithful and only cared for himself most of my life, he even tried to go back to Africa and live with a new woman and the kids they had together (African dads seem to love doing that) but changed his mind and decided to come back and live with my family, but this man has the nerve to complain about his circumstances and not having a job and having no money when he willingly quit his job and left to travel and do god knows what, due to the way he raised us my older brother is now an alcoholic who drinks till he vomits everyday, my sister is a recovering addict and is an alcoholic, don’t get me wrong not everything is his fault and he has loosened up recently, but wow he was a piece of shit for most of my life and I find myself questioning why he ever had children since he clearly can’t afford it and constantly says he regrets having children (he has multiple children with different women as well which doesnt make sense) I find this kind of reckless behaviour common in 1st generation African fathers.

Edit: He also loved preaching and was one of the main preachers within the community, idk what it is with the super religious African dads/uncles and being the worst sinners behind closed doors🤦🏽‍♂️

I am in my head too much, I know people dislike ugly people, they don’t hide it, but I tend to overthink all my interactions with people, when really it was just a microaggression because I am ugly, but I think they are trying to psychologically torture me and make me go crazy.

I always make up the worst case scenario EVERY.SINGLE.TIME, the thing is most of the time I don’t catch myself being paranoid, my thoughts feel real and valid, whilst irl no one really cares about me.

Everyone including my family treats me like shit, I’m the butt of every joke, people say or do whatever they want to me without any regard, it’s like there’s a sign on my head that says “loser”, if I dare defend myself people immediately play the victim and act as if I’m crazy, I don’t really like arguing much because I know how much people lie to get themselves out of trouble, I can’t physically harm people because I’ll go straight to f*cking jail, I was told for most of my life that being a good person was more important than my own goals and desires, I was told character mattered more than money, looking back my parents and teachers only set me up for failure, none of that shit matters, the only thing that matters is money and status to people, if I had known this earlier I probably would’ve had more courage to pursue my dreams instead of “playing it safe”

It’s like people have no patience and have no tolerance for ugly people, if I so as much as stand close to someone they act as if they are being held hostage by me, every little mistake is made out to be worse than what it actually is because you are ugly, I started experiencing this when I was young and I realised early on that if you look a certain way people will treat you however they want to, no matter how nice you are or how you act people will always hold your looks against you, you are basically forced to be avoidant.