u/divble

I want to start by saying yes I know there are others in the same boat as me regarding going on a 3 day bender for the 4th of July. With that being said, I want to provide context here because I feel without it there would be a lot of missing pieces.

Firstly, I’m 24 years old and I’ve lived in 2 states both of which were/are for school and my parents do not live in the state I’m residing in. As a matter of fact no family lives near me so I’m essentially alone here. Despite this I chose to come here because I want to pursue my academics and start my career.

Up until this weekend I have been pretty responsible in regards to my drinking (maybe once or twice a month outside of special occasions and never during the week). This weekend however my college friends and I decided to return to our Alma mater and get together to celebrate the holiday.

I proceeded to drink a disgusting amount of beers and black out basically 2 days in a row nonstop. Now I’m facing the consequences of this which is fine I knew this would happen but it’s bringing along a lot of self reflection.

The first thing I realized is while I am in a great mood when I’m drinking if I get upset I really let it off, granted it takes a lot for me to get there but it scares me. It’s not just anger though it’s also sadness, paranoia, and just a complete disregard for what I say when I’m in public. I’ve been working really hard on myself since my move I go to therapy got on well needed antidepressants and have been dedicating myself to my studies and work.

Now the real issue, I have a really bad habit of lying when I get drunk, it can be about something menial and stupid or in the case of this weekend it could’ve literally ruined my career before it started. Thankfully I was not the only one very drunk so it didn’t end up affecting me (that I know of).

All this to say simply, my life seems better when I don’t drink. If it wasn’t for the socialization of alcohol and it being almost a necessity to go out to bars and things like that I just want to know what exactly I should do here. I’m young enough where I can make the pivot but would it set me back? Is this just the anxiety manifesting itself or is this a real concern? All questions that i don’t have an answer for and idk why im coming here to talk about it but im hoping it’ll help.

For context I have always enjoyed the law and enjoyed the idea of advocation for people who need it or require some sort of representation in terms of legal assistance. I more than anyone know how expensive and daunting the whole legal system can be unfortunately, and how even more than that it affects families who aren’t directly involved in the process.

With that being said I started law school this fall and I’ve heard so many people who talk about how your mental health is just going to collapse as apart of it all because it’s essentially a pressure cooker, the term used often is “they have to break you down to build you up”. I’ve been through some tough stints in my life but NOTHING like this, it is to the point that for the whole month leading up to finals I have thoughts ranging from “damn would be cool if that bus ran into me so I don’t have to go to school anymore” to “what the hell am I even doing with my life, I can’t even remember the last time I was happy or why I even came here”. In undergrad I had a ton of friends, my social circle was my life and I was involved with the community, more than that though where I went to school was a happy place it was beautiful and just a vibrant chunk of life. Now I’m at law school in where I can only describe as the armpit of America, drug addicts on the street every morning, people getting shot and killed frequently like 2 blocks from my school, the state is just overall not anything like what I came from.

I guess what I came to the sub for is just trying to figure out if these circumstances warrant me constantly wanting to cry and just be inherently sad, it compounds with the fact that I don’t really have friends here which I can take as my own fault for not going out of my way but I’ve never just felt this drained, constantly tired, genuinely sad every morning for the most part, VERY irritable, and just no motivation to keep going.

I know it’s not your job to diagnose or anything but I just need someone to kind of guide me in a direction here on how to approach this problem because it really is all new for me I’m usually a happy go lucky person.

TLDR; need guidance on whether or not my circumstances since attending law school are the reason I feel so sad all the time, and irritable or if this may be something that has more teeth to it like possibly depression.

Thanks everyone:)

As the title says I have a old computer that I’m scrapping for parts as I got a new one, looking to offload a medium tiered graphics card, and some ram atm but if I could find a tech shop or somewhere in the area that would want the motherboard cpu and everything else in it I’d like to sell them all together if possible.

Only issue is the tower is kinda falling apart hence why I’m selling it for parts. If anyone knows my best bet to sell these please let me know thank yall!!!