u/dumb_depressed

I'm 24F, and my only relationship ended like 6 months ago, and I'm still trying to get over it. I'm not sure, but I think currently I'm dealing with CPTSD, and I keep getting flashbacks of a couple of things that my partner said and would do, but even I dismissed them as not a big deal, and now I've started realising how much of those things have affected me. The memories keep playing in my head, and I get dreams about it too. Also, since it has happened recently, I still can't remember all of it at once, so it's very hard for me to talk about it to anyone except for my therapist, because people just don't take it as a big deal, and it's very suffocating for me. I'm in therapy, but outside that, I just avoid talking about it since people dismiss it as "not a big deal" or "you are overreacting".

Honestly, I don't know why I am even creating this post. Maybe I just want to reassure myself that I haven't been through this alone and take more safety tips for my future.

Okay, so I'm gonna list down a couple of things that my partner would do that felt very problematic to me:

1. He was liked by everyone he knew, like literally everyone on this planet.

2. The lovebombing phase was the scariest and sweestest part of it. He was already planning about the future within the first 2 weeks after we first got to know each other.

3. He knew that if there is one thing in the world that I hate the most is cooking, and so he was already preparing dinner for me in the 2nd or 3rd week.

4. He would make big promises that he would do THIS-THAT, and then would just forget, and after I nagged him a couple of times, his response was, "You keep talking about promises? What are you, a 12-year-old?"

5. I've realised that I'm codependent, the reason being the fact that I come from a very dysfunctional family, but he would claim that his parents/family/relatives are all very nice. He claimed that his parents gave him full freedom to pick a career of his choice, and still, he went to the US for an MS, even tho he had no interest in engineering because "it was his mother's dream to send him to the US".

6. His parents were really great because "if he asks his parents if he wants to go on a trip, then his parents will find a way to sponsor his expenses even tho they were struggling financially".

7. I'm doing quite well in my career and have had no problem supporting him through his hardships but this man who is in his final years of MS with a big chunk of loan didn't even know a single programming language, almost blank LinkedIn profile and for whom applying for jobs alongside college studies was overwhelming for him was promising me that before 30 he would pay off his loan, buy a house and a car by the age of 29-30 and will marry me. And when I would call him out, he would say, "Don't act like it's about me. It's you, your anxiety, and your overthinking is the problem". (In this case, I'd threaten to break up a couple of times, stating that I can't be with someone who can't take his career and financial responsibilities seriously)

8. At the start, he said: "he would unfollow his ex (who left him and further cheated once her conservative parents found out about them and left him in PIECES) over Instagram if I ever had any problem with it". When I asked him to do it after a few months into the relationship, he said, " I can do it, it's not a big deal, but why give the other person any idea that I still think about her", and "She will always stay SPECIAL because she was my first", and I was WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K

9. Way too arrogant about his looks. Whenever he would click his pictures, every time he would send them personally to his female friends, and he once said to me, "Why majority of your close friends male? It's such a red flag". Also, there was a girl from his college who would keep sending him pictures of hers and later confessed to having a crush on him, and when I confronted him, his reply was "I thought she sent me just as a friend", and he also said that he never actively talked to her in college. At the start, I didn't have any problem with all of his female friends or him following his ex, but I started noticing that he kind of likes hooking people around himself, and then I started getting insecure.

10. I found out that 2 months before the breakup, he created a profile on a dating app and was pretty active over there, as in he had checked that every single day multiple times without any break (don't ask me about how I found out, I'm quite good with computers, and I was suspecting that something was wrong). I found this out 3 weeks after getting dumped by him (the reason was that I was overbearing).

11. I knew that if I confronted him directly, he would twist the words, so I reached out to one of his friends, and when he found out that I'd kind of exposed him, these were his words:

\- "If you had any dignity, even some of it, then you would have tried to move on instead of behaving like a child"

\- "I trusted you with my credentials, and you went through my stuff. Don't you have any morals or ethics?"

\- "I don't remember installing a dating app. If I did, then it's my mistake, but I really don't remember doing it" (thankfully his friend was kind of on my side and told me that he confessed to installing them so that he could see "how girls would react to his pics", but that friend didn't tell him that I know about his confession)

\- "Obviously, you can't know everything about me, but my friend and I know who I am, so I don't have anything to prove to you"

\- "I stopped feeling for you a long ago, but how could I have left you since you were going to therapy?" (I was anxious the whole time by the end of the relationship, so 2 weeks before the breakup, I went to the therapist for the first time because even I thought I was the problem)

\- "You're just making things up, so if the blame were on me, it would be easier for you to move on"

12. Ohh, we met through a dating app only, and he uninstalled that app on our first date itself. Reason for uninstalling: "He met someone" (later, when we went to ldr he reinstalled it)

13. His friends commented that "She (I) am a down in terms of looks for him, why doesn't he look out for other women who already have been hitting on him?" to which I obviously got pissed, and his reassurance wasn't "They aren't really close friends (these people are flatmates and literally hangout together), you shouldn't worry about them"

I'll add more when I remember more of it. But yeah wanted to just talk about it and hear about any similar or different incidents that people have been through, and I should be aware of them.

What are some forms of emotional abuse/manipulation or any problematic behaviour that people generally dismiss as "not a big deal"?

People who have dealt with an emotionally manipulation/abusive partner, what are the things that made you feel like you've been or you're being emotionally abused, but when you tried to talk to your partner or even other people, they made you feel like you might be the problem, or you're just being too much? I'm talking about some toxic traits that are easily visible, like lashing out or threatening to break up when things are going wrong (obviously, these are wrong, and I've done this too, and I'm working on improving myself). I'm a codependent and have anxious attachment, and I'm working on my anxiety issues, too.

I'm 24F, and my only relationship ended like 6 months ago, and I'm still trying to get over it. I'm not sure, but I think currently I'm dealing with CPTSD, and I keep getting flashbacks of a couple of things that my partner said and would do, but even I dismissed them as not a big deal, and now I've started realising how much of those things have affected me. Also, since it has happened recently, I still can't remember all of it at once, so it's very hard for me to talk about it to anyone except for my therapist, because people just don't take it as a big deal, and it's very suffocating for me.

Honestly, I don't know why I am even creating this post. Maybe I just want to reassure myself that I haven't been through this alone and take more safety tips for my future.

Okay, so I'm gonna list down a couple of things that my partner would do that felt very problematic to me:

1. He was liked by everyone he knew, like literally everyone on this planet.

2. The lovebombing phase was the scariest and sweestest part of it. He was already planning about the future within the first 2 weeks after we first got to know each other.

3. He knew that if there is one thing in the world that I hate the most is cooking, and so he was already preparing dinner for me in the 2nd or 3rd week.

4. He would make big promises that he would do THIS-THAT, and then would just forget, and after I nagged him a couple of times, his response was, "You keep talking about promises? What are you, a 12-year-old?"

5. Given that I'm codependent, so obviously I come from a very dysfunctional family, but he would claim that his parents/family/relatives are all very nice. He claimed that his parents gave him full freedom to pick a career of his choice, and still, he went to the US for an MS, even tho he had no interest in engineering because "it was his mother's dream to send him to the US".

6. His parents were really great because "if he asks his parents if he wants to go on a trip, then his parents will find a way to sponsor his expenses even tho they were struggling financially".

7. I'm doing quite well in my career and have had no problem supporting him through his hardships but this man who is in his final years of MS with a big chunk of loan didn't even know a single programming language, almost blank LinkedIn profile and for whom applying for jobs alongside college studies was overwhelming for him was promising me that before 30 he would pay off his loan, buy a house and a car by the age of 29-30 and will marry me. And when I would call him out, he would say, "Don't act like it's about me. It's you, your anxiety, and your overthinking is the problem". (In this case, I'd threaten to break up a couple of times, stating that I can't be with someone who can't take his career and financial responsibilities seriously)

8. At the start, he said: "he would unfollow his ex over Instagram if I ever had any problem with it". When I asked him to do it after a few months into the relationship, he said, " I can do it, it's not a big deal, but why give the other person any idea that I still think about her"

9. Way too arrogant about his looks. Whenever he would click his pictures, every time he would send them personally to his female friends, and he once said to me, "Why majority of your close friends male? It's such a red flag". Also, there was a girl from his college who would keep sending him pictures of hers and later confessed to having a crush on him, and when I confronted him, his reply was "I thought she sent me just as a friend", and he also said that he never actively talked to her in college. At the start, I didn't have any problem with all of his female friends or him following his ex, but I started noticing that he kind of likes hooking people around himself, and then I started getting insecure.

10. I found out that 2 months before the breakup, he created a profile on a dating app and was pretty active over there, as in he had checked that every single day multiple times without any break (don't ask me about how I found out, I'm quite good with computers, and I was suspecting that something was wrong). I found this out 3 weeks after getting dumped by him (the reason was that I was overbearing).

11. I knew that if I confronted him directly, he would twist the words, so I reached out to one of his friends, and when he found out that I'd kind of exposed him, these were his words:

\\- "If you had any dignity, even some of it, then you would have tried to move on instead of behaving like a child"

\\- "I trusted you with my credentials, and you went through my stuff. Don't you have any morals or ethics?"

\\- "I don't remember installing a dating app. If I did, then it's my mistake, but I really don't remember doing it" (thankfully his friend was kind of on my side and told me that he confessed to installing them so that he could see "how girls would react to his pics", but that friend didn't tell him that I know about his confession)

\\- "Obviously, you can't know everything about me, but my friend and I know who I am, so I don't have anything to prove to you"

\\- "I stopped feeling for you a long ago, but how could I have left you since you were going to therapy?" (I was anxious the whole time by the end of the relationship, so 2 weeks before the breakup, I went to the therapist for the first time because even I thought I was the problem)

\\- "You're just making things up, so if the blame were on me, it would be easier for you to move on"

12. Ohh, we met through a dating app only, and he uninstalled that app on our first date itself. Reason for uninstalling: "He met someone" (later, when we went to ldr he reinstalled it)

I'll add more when I remember more of it. But yeah wanted to just talk about it and hear about any similar or different incidents that people have been through, and I should be aware of them.

People who have dealt with an emotionally manipulation/abusive partner, what are the things that made you feel like you've been or you're being emotionally abused, but when you tried to talk to your partner or even other people, they made you feel like you might be the problem, or you're just being too much? I'm talking about some toxic traits that are easily visible, like lashing out or threatening to break up when things are going wrong (obviously, these are wrong, and I've done this too, and I'm working on improving myself). I'm a codependent and have anxious attachment, and I'm working on my anxiety issues, too.

I'm 24F, and my only relationship ended like 6 months ago, and I'm still trying to get over it. I'm not sure, but I think currently I'm dealing with CPTSD, and I keep getting flashbacks of a couple of things that my partner said and would do, but even I dismissed them as not a big deal, and now I've started realising how much of those things have affected me. Also, since it has happened recently, I still can't remember all of it at once, so it's very hard for me to talk about it to anyone except for my therapist, because people just don't take it as a big deal, and it's very suffocating for me.

Honestly, I don't know why I am even creating this post. Maybe I just want to reassure myself that I haven't been through this alone and take more safety tips for my future.

Okay, so I'm gonna list down a couple of things that my partner would do that felt very problematic to me:

1. He was liked by everyone he knew, like literally everyone on this planet.

2. The lovebombing phase was the scariest and sweestest part of it. He was already planning about the future within the first 2 weeks after we first got to know each other.

3. He knew that if there is one thing in the world that I hate the most is cooking, and so he was already preparing dinner for me in the 2nd or 3rd week.

4. He would make big promises that he would do THIS-THAT, and then would just forget, and after I nagged him a couple of times, his response was, "You keep talking about promises? What are you, a 12-year-old?"

5. Given that I'm codependent, so obviously I come from a very dysfunctional family, but he would claim that his parents/family/relatives are all very nice. He claimed that his parents gave him full freedom to pick a career of his choice, and still, he went to the US for an MS, even tho he had no interest in engineering because "it was his mother's dream to send him to the US".

6. His parents were really great because "if he asks his parents if he wants to go on a trip, then his parents will find a way to sponsor his expenses even tho they were struggling financially".

7. I'm doing quite well in my career and have had no problem supporting him through his hardships but this man who is in his final years of MS with a big chunk of loan didn't even know a single programming language, almost blank LinkedIn profile and for whom applying for jobs alongside college studies was overwhelming for him was promising me that before 30 he would pay off his loan, buy a house and a car by the age of 29-30 and will marry me. And when I would call him out, he would say, "Don't act like it's about me. It's you, your anxiety, and your overthinking is the problem". (In this case, I'd threaten to break up a couple of times, stating that I can't be with someone who can't take his career and financial responsibilities seriously)

8. At the start, he said: "he would unfollow his ex over Instagram if I ever had any problem with it". When I asked him to do it after a few months into the relationship, he said, " I can do it, it's not a big deal, but why give the other person any idea that I still think about her"

9. Way too arrogant about his looks. Whenever he would click his pictures, every time he would send them personally to his female friends, and he once said to me, "Why majority of your close friends male? It's such a red flag". Also, there was a girl from his college who would keep sending him pictures of hers and later confessed to having a crush on him, and when I confronted him, his reply was "I thought she sent me just as a friend", and he also said that he never actively talked to her in college. At the start, I didn't have any problem with all of his female friends or him following his ex, but I started noticing that he kind of likes hooking people around himself, and then I started getting insecure.

10. I found out that 2 months before the breakup, he created a profile on a dating app and was pretty active over there, as in he had checked that every single day multiple times without any break (don't ask me about how I found out, I'm quite good with computers, and I was suspecting that something was wrong). I found this out 3 weeks after getting dumped by him (the reason was that I was overbearing).

11. I knew that if I confronted him directly, he would twist the words, so I reached out to one of his friends, and when he found out that I'd kind of exposed him, these were his words:

- "If you had any dignity, even some of it, then you would have tried to move on instead of behaving like a child"

- "I trusted you with my credentials, and you went through my stuff. Don't you have any morals or ethics?"

- "I don't remember installing a dating app. If I did, then it's my mistake, but I really don't remember doing it" (thankfully his friend was kind of on my side and told me that he confessed to installing them so that he could see "how girls would react to his pics", but that friend didn't tell him that I know about his confession)

- "Obviously, you can't know everything about me, but my friend and I know who I am, so I don't have anything to prove to you"

- "I stopped feeling for you a long ago, but how could I have left you since you were going to therapy?" (I was anxious the whole time by the end of the relationship, so 2 weeks before the breakup, I went to the therapist for the first time because even I thought I was the problem)

- "You're just making things up, so if the blame were on me, it would be easier for you to move on"

12. Ohh, we met through a dating app only, and he uninstalled that app on our first date itself. Reason for uninstalling: "He met someone" (later, when we went to ldr he reinstalled it)

I'll add more when I remember more of it. But yeah wanted to just talk about it and hear about any similar or different incidents that people have been through, and I should be aware of them.

I, 24F, went through a harsh breakup around the end of 2025 and am still struggling to process it. Okay, to be completely straightforward, the relationship lasted for about 4-5 months only, but I became way too attached to it, and that's why, even though it's been six months since the breakup, I'm still struggling.

I've been in therapy since, and it has helped me a lot with my anxiety and depression. I also found out that I suffer from CPTSD and codependent personality disorder. But I want to talk to people about my mental health (not every other person in the world, but just casually so that I can just say things out loud outside my therapy sessions) like the way people talk about other problems.

Now there are 2 problems:

1. People think that a few-month relationship can never affect anyone this much

2. Not trying to flex, but I'm doing really well in my career, and again, people just assume that since your logical side of the brain is this strong, your emotional side of the brain would be strong as well. (People who grew up in a dysfunctional family with demanding parents would get what I mean)

3. I've high functioning anxiety 🙃 basically I travel, do exercises, work, study, read books and find some time for other hobbies which makes it look harder that I can suffer from mental health.

Once I tried talking to my flatmate, and she literally dismissed, saying, "these are all western concepts and nothing much", and it would really hamper my self-esteem. Why is there so much lack of awareness about mental health in India?

I'm not here looking for people to talk to because tbh I would like to talk to people in real life but just wanted to know perspectives of other people in the same situation.