I am the heaviest I have ever been and its devastating
For context- I am 23F. As the title says I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life; staying in a hostel setting and with academics being extremely time consuming its hard to maintain a schedule where I can join the gym. I feel very inadequate that I am not able to juggle my time efficiently. It is possible to workout and study, but I just seemingly cannot somehow.
A lot of take outs happen due to the shit food from hostel honestly, and the STRESS EATING. I have had exams recently, and I eat a lot of sugar for the sugar rush, so I can stay up and study. Its a bad habit. Even normally- whenever I am upset, I indulge myself in eating. This started significantly after my horrible breakup.
All this has lead me here in a body where I feel disgusted to look at myself. I feel unhealthy, I can’t exert myself too much, I start heaving after climbing the stairs and my hair is falling, skin is breaking. Clothes don’t fit nor do they look good anymore. I can’t bear to see myself.
I feel I am so heavy there is no going back now, it feels a long way to go. I can’t motivate myself enough. Maybe I am too mentally weak to do something about it. All in all I feel pathetic about myself.
Since gym isn’t an option I ordered basic weights and a yoga mat, and I was consistently doing it until exams hit and a long break in the middle.
I just feel so defeated ):
Have any of you been here? What helped you turn around, stay consistent?
Also any tips are welcome!