u/e-bio

I want to spend all my life seeing butts, only butts, he replied.

The genie transformed him into a toilet bowl.

Don't buy me a meal on Uber Eats, teach me how to find the working promo codes on the app.

It's 'from'.

Catchy beginning, crazy middle, satisfying end.

of errors

She had one loose potato, a microwave Salisbury steak, a tiny tub of ice cream, a two-pack of string cheese, and a single slice of pie.

I smiled and said, Let me guess... you're single and live alone.

She looked amazed and asked, Wow! How did you figure that out?

I said, Because you're really, really ... ugly.

This year my password is: my_age+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1

Apparently, it is he-Reddit-ary.

An incomplete sentence with a missing noun.

Because you go to the Swiss-side

- Really? Why not on those two days?

- Because those are the only two days we didn't bother going there to check.

Because it's a Rock Star.

A few minutes later, he completely forgets about the movie and starts flirting with her.

He gently runs his fingers through her hair and whispers:

"Whose beautiful hair is this?"

She smiles and says,

"Yours."

Then he holds her hand.

"And whose hand is this?"

"Yours."

Then he touches her shoulders...

"Whose shoulders are these?"

"Yours."

Then her face...

"Yours."

Then her waist...

"Yours."

Finally, he puts his hand on her butt and whispers,

"And whose butt is this?"

She gets so shy that she doesn't answer.

He asks again, a little louder:

"Whose butt is this?"

Still no answer.

Now he's almost shouting:

"I SAID... WHOSE BUTT IS THIS?!"

Suddenly, a man in the back of the theater stands up and yells:

"Can somebody turn the lights on? This guy just found a lost butt!"

A teacher called a mother in for a meeting and said, Your son is struggling; he can't count backwards and won't even try.

The kid looked at his mom, completely offended, and shouted, Don't believe him, Mom! He's the one who isn't clever!

Wanting to settle the score, the mom said, Alright sweetie, prove him wrong. Count backwards for me.

The kid glared at the teacher, took a deep breath, and proudly started: Minus one... minus two... minus three... minus four...

AD.HP.

Soft - Hard - Full Wet

Because he's a Bot.

She looked shocked and said, 'Wow, you're the first person I've ever met who speaks Amharic.'

I was surprised and said, 'Really? Then what language do Ethiopians speak?'

The Iraqi said: "We dug deep underground and found cuneiform tablets. My ancestors invented writing."

The Mexican said:"We dug even deeper and found ancient pictures carved into stone. My ancestors invented visual communication."

The Italian grinned. "We dug deeper than both of you."

"What did you find?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Absolutely nothing."

The Italian shrugged."Exactly. My ancestors were already using Wi-Fi."

It starts with S and ends with X.