u/eatingfoil

I’m not on a job search currently, but I will be eventually, and that comes with a problem: The college I graduated from has completely shut down since the last time I was interviewing. Is this going to be a background check issue? Will they be able to find somebody to verify my degree? If not, will they assume I’m just lying about it?

I’ve been wondering about this for awhile, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about it. Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do?

I had just turned 18 about 3 months prior, the summer after I graduated high school, when I got a jury summons in the mail. I somehow didn’t even go through selection, but just automatically had to serve. Fortunately it was just a civil “health insurance company vs director-level ex-employee whom they maybe screwed out of pay” case, so I didn’t have to examine any crime scene stabbing photos nor give a shit about either party.

Everyone else on the jury was aged 35+ in one of the most highly-educated states in the US, so I was almost in the embarrassing position of being the dumbest ass in that room, were it not for the saving grace of a rippingly idiotic townie who didn’t understand the level of disdain everyone else had for him from the moment he opened his mouth. (Good on him, I guess?)

Anyway, for the whole 3-week trial I sat up in the box trying to draw the most perfect circles possible in the little notepad they gave me. Since it ran longer than 2 weeks they had to compensate us for lost wages, but I didn’t even have a job, so it was basically free money for doodling.

We decided the dude should get some money, but not the full amount he was asking, for poorly-defined reasons.

5/10 experience, would maybe do again were I still jobless.

GENERAL WARNING TO THE SUBREDDIT ABOUT SAYING THE WORD SLUR

ALSO, SLUR

UPDATE DECLARING THAT THE WARNING WAS SUCCESSFULLY APPEALED, CELEBRATION EMOJI

INTENTION OF IDENTIFYING WITH SEVERAL ANSWERS CONFIRMING THAT I AM IN FACT VERY SMART

Don’t get me wrong, I eat cooked food l for health and taste and all that, but the process… it’s pretty gross if you think about what you’re doing. You take a perfectly preserved thing, nearly identical to how it was living but maybe cut into chunks, and either heat-damage the fuck out of it or turn it into goopy slop.

Made jam? You took a natural miracle that was a fruit and degraded it into sticky goo to smear over some kind of wheat powder concretion for your breakfasts. Pulled pork? A muscle, a piece of biological engineering with molecules arranged just right to facilitate movement, denatured, liquids spewing out of every cell, peeled apart into a steaming pile of floppy worm-like brown stuff.

“But cooking made humans how they are today! It helps make the nutrients in food more available to absorb!” You know what else makes nutrients more available to absorb? Fucking digestion. Stomach acid. And yet don’t marvel at a pile of puke from a healthy gut, do we?

I have epilepsy that gets triggered by food-related disgust. If I take out a slice of bread and it’s moldy, there’s a chance I’ll have a partial seizure. But at the same time, probably for related malformed-brain reasons, I don’t really feel disgust. I’m the designated cat vomit wiper-upper. I once cleaned out a full fridge left without power for 4 weeks because I was the only willing volunteer; it was whatever. But you know the most frequent seizure trigger is for me? Fucking COOKING. I feel just as much disgust over the process of cooking as I did scooping up the brown, dead-maggot-filled sludge from inside those vegetable drawers.

Does nobody else notice the awful processes involved in cooking because they get yummy treats afterwards or something?