u/ebr101

I was listening to Lorde’s “What Was That” and was reminded how much I love the strange, strained synth in the post chorus. Really odd, creaking, kinda reversed sounding thing. It brought to mind how much I love songs that have strange sounds and textures I’ve never heard before. Probably why I was so into hyper pop and similar genres for a while. See the guitar solo at the end of Black Dresses’ “Can’t figure it out” for a prime “what ever is that?” moment.

What are particular weird sounds or unique noises in songs that you love?

Just one time I’d like to exit a social situation without a pervasive paranoia that the other person(s) hate me/think I’m weird/took offense at something I said/ etc.

I just had a lovely evening with family and friend for the Fourth of July, but I made one or two jokes that didn’t land and my sibling’s new partner was a bit standoff-ish toward me. I’m worried I came across like a weird asshole or something.

I can’t ever just be confident that others tolerate or even like me. I am constantly under the assumption that I am at best put up with and at worst actively disliked.

I know that I have no evidence for this, and quite a bit of evidence to the contrary, but that nagging, never quite part of my brain will not stop insisting that everyone hates me and that those three things I said were just so offensive or annoying and why can’t I just stop talking why does the ADHD not let me shut up….

Sorry for the rant, I just am almost 30 and I can’t get over feeling like a kid desperate for others approval. It’s humiliating to have this much insecurity about myself and my interactions with others. Thanks for the space the vent.

I am a PhD student doing a year or two of my research in Italy, and I have taken A1 at the university and will take A2 and hopefully B1/2 in the coming semesters. However, while I can perform well in the classroom and on tests, I really struggle to understand and respond to native speakers "in the real world." This can be embarrassing and frustrating, as I am sure many folks will be familiar with.

I am wondering if anyone has tv shows or podcasts they would recommend for getting past that beginner stage? I can order coffee, but I would really like to get to the point of having conversation and making friends. I think that just have Italian language media as part of my daily routine would help with this.