u/echof1sh

I have a pair of black low high heel shoes, but they have a golden buckle and black ribbon bows on the front. Do they fit sub fusc requirements?

I think I'm sufficiently aware that she is in the wrong, but I just want to talk about this.

Since I'm starting university soon, I've been going through my old clothes to decide which ones to keep. I gave my mom two tennis skirts that I hadn't worn in years for her to donate, but this did not end well. Overall she's been making me pack a lot of skirts and dresses to wear in university, trying to convince me to bring more ("What if you go clubbing? What if you go on a date? You need to dress sexy! What if you go to a formal event? You need to dress like a lady!), and these tennis skirts were the final straw, apparently. Throughout my whole life, I haven't been very feminine, it's not even related to being transgender, I just don't really like that kind of stuff. I've tried to force myself to like it but that truly isn't who I am, and my mom has had all of this time to come to terms with it, starting from when I would try to fight her putting me in dresses as a toddler, to every subsequent point of my life.

But this time, she just sat there silently, looking into the distance. After a while she told me that raising a child had been a journey of nothing but disappointment, repeating how disappointed and devastated she was. Usually she tells me that I should definitely become a mother someday, because she loved raising me, but I suppose that only applies when I don't go against her. She was near tears and said that she "gave birth to a daughter for nothing" since "all she wanted was a sweet girl to dress up in pretty clothes," I was "crushing her dreams" and then she told me to leave her alone while she mourned.

I couldn't really muster the emotions needed to feel bad about it. It's feels like my conservative grandparents aren't this bad, because at least they think that a girl paying too much attention to her appearance will distract her from her studies. And, I guess this might sound annoying in other scenarios, but I was really enraged by the fact she said I did nothing but disappoint her after I've been accepted to one of the best (or at least, highly ranked) universities in the world. This just makes me feel terrible around.

She doesn't know I'm transgender and I don't feel like I'll ever be able to come out to anyone. I'll just try to live the life of a woman as best as I can even if it disappoints her anyways. I'm on testosterone without my family's knowledge, but that probably won't let me achieve my pipe dream of being stealth in university lol!

Either way I look forward to the future because the only way out is THROUGH.

I'm currently 17 years old and I stopped growing several years ago. Is there any hope for growing even the slightest bit taller?

Alternatively, if there is no chance to change anything about my height, do you guys have any recommendations for exercise to get a less feminine figure?

I'm a few months shy of turning 18 and started testosterone recently, and as said in the title it's DIY. No one in my personal life knows about this. I'm also aware that it's at best in a legal grey area and at worst illegal, more so given that I'm currently still a minor. If it's relevant, I live in China.

So, I want to hear some outside opinions about how prudent it would be to mention this to a mental health professional.

I'd assume that for ethical reasons they shouldn't tell my parents, but for issues such as self harm and suicide risk it is necessary to speak to the patient's family, and in this case going on hormones might be considered to be a similarly harmful decision since the therapist isn't too open on these topics. However, I feel like not disclosing something as significant as this would kind of defeat the purpose of seeing a therapist and be "wasting the appointment". Thanks to anyone who leaves their thoughts!