u/emoballerina

I feel like my last few therapists have always been extremely passive and I’m starting to wonder if I should just stop. I feel like I do most of talking because if I don’t we just sit in silence. I also feel like my questions are never answered. Like for example last night I was talking about my mom and how she never calls me or asks me about the stuff going on in my life, how she is always criticizing me, interrupting me and I feel like she doesn’t see me. And she just sat there and told me to practice gratitude. I asked where the line was between gratitude and recognizing when I’m being treated poorly and she didn’t have answer. I also asked why that kind of behavior is unacceptable for me to do to others but it’s okay for her to treat me like that. If I had a friend that I treated like that I would be a bad friend wouldn’t I? And she just said that I had a lot to think about and we would discuss it next week. I feel even more crazy than before and I’m starting to fear that she can’t help me. I can come to a lot of conclusions on my own and do my best to regulate my emotions but I still need an outside eye because I often still feel confused by social norms and how to progress in my life. My mom says it’s always my fault and I’m starting to feel that my therapist agrees. Is it too much to ask direct questions? Who else am I supposed to ask these questions too? How do I learn how I’m supposed to be treated and treat others? The way my mom has taught me to be vs how she treats me are very opposite and by her own standards she does not care (“If they wanted too, they would”).

I’m autistic so there are still a lot of social things I’m trying to learn and understand. I wish I could just go to my mom instead but I can’t accept deep down that’s it’s all my fault. I just want her love and attention and she has never given it. The way I feel is that if she wasn’t constantly criticizing me, I wouldn’t be so defensive and everything could be more peaceful. Of course I want to hear when I’m genuinely in the wrong but I also want her to see that I always try my best and constantly give 100% of myself to make things work instead of saying that I didn’t try hard enough.

I’m 21 and one thing that I’ve noticed is that I’m only pursued by women who are significantly older than me. A 33 yo, 36 yo and a 42 yo in recent time at a sapphic dating event for an example. It’s starting to feel like my only option if I want to date but it feels very patronizing too. Especially when they flat out will say something like “Welcome to adulthood” or “omg you’re such a baby”. I feel like it’s because I look young but I’m also unsure if I even do. I don’t think I do and a lot of the people who know me say no. But strangers think I’m a kid a lot. I’ve been trying to dress a bit older but I feel like the clothes that make me look older are tighter feminine clothes. I feel more comfortable in baggier more masculine clothes but I don’t want people to think I’m a kid

I had my first performance since I was 13 (yay!!) but I was disappointed watching the video myself on stage. I pride myself on having nice quality of movement and I like how my dancing looks in class so I was surprised to see that it looked dull. I do tend to be very hard on myself so I’m not sure if I’m just being overly critical or if my nerves got to me (I had very bad stage fright when I was young and never overcame it. I was still a bit scared on stage in the performance but much less) I need an outside perspective on this and I would also love tips to improve quality. I always try to dance the combos and sometimes I can see the dancer I was in high school but I want to be even better than that. I want my dancing to be like a breath of fresh air and so strong you can’t look away

I need to do stage makeup for a dance performance but I don’t own any makeup. I don’t wear any and will not use it again (until next year’s performance probably) so I want to spend as little money as possible. Is there anywhere I can maybe get samples but for concealer and blush etc not like the serum samples I’m seeing? Thanks

I took them on the 15th but I still don’t see anything when I put in my password

I couldn’t go to the in person shop. In an email from last year it said it was white but in the online shop for varsity nook the cord options are purple/white and purple/gold