u/ettincelly

My MIL is a difficult lady with a history of emotional abuse and manipulation towards her three children as she has for a very long time. She has a variety of mental disorders which I believe she is medicated for but doesn’t seem to seek much psychiatric help in managing her emotional abuse tendencies. She has many times threatened her children with suicide, her and my husband’s father are no longer together and haven’t been for a long time. They both have new partners.

My husband has a distant relationship with her and doesn’t go out of his way to visit her but will speak to her on the phone a few times a month (I think he feels bad for her). She messages me occasionally and I respond but I don’t like to talk to her on the phone and she has complained to my husband several times wondering why me and her aren’t closer (only since she found out we were pregnant and since baby was born).

We just had our first child 3 months ago, my MIL made a huge deal about how she didn’t want to be the last grandparent to meet her, we made arrangements for everyone to meet the baby within 6 weeks (which was quicker than what we originally wanted but felt obliged), it just so happened with my FIL work arrangements he would meet the baby first (no big deal IMO). She got very upset and verbally abusive to my husband, sent long messages and this is all in the week leading up to my scheduled C section. The night before my C section she texted us both to tell us she was in hospital for high blood pressure, it felt like she was trying to pull away the attention from us. I felt stressed and extremely frustrated that this was all happening while we were about to have our first baby and I was due to have a major operation. It really tainted the memory of the lead up to my daughter’s birth for me.

She is due to visit us in the coming weeks and I have this overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety that is keeping me up at night. I have this horrible sense that she’s going to firstly be upset we won’t be seeing her long enough (always feels no matter what we do it isn’t good enough for her, I can accept this and move on), but I have this feeling of her doing something dramatic and scary towards my daughter. She doesn’t have a history of physical violence (although she did trash my FIL’s house once). She also bought us a heap of baby stuff that we didn’t really need and I always feel these gifts are to keep us from avoiding her which then just leaves me feeling guilty.

I feel sometimes I project my fear of my MIL on my husband and it makes me resent him. How do I tackle this anxiety? My brain is always telling me to run and avoid this woman all the time and I feel it consuming me a bit.

Thanks in advance reddit community

Looking for some advice, I’m a first time mother and still learning about all of this. I suspect I have dysbiosis for the past 2 weeks as I’ve had little specs, stringy bits and phlegm like clogs in my milk. I’ve ordered some fermentum probiotics.

Is there anything else I should be doing with this sort of issue?
Should I see a doctor for antibiotics?
Is the milk still safe to give to my baby? Should I move to formula until it’s resolved?

Thanks in advance

I booked a holiday home close to where I live as our house was having work done to it and we had to vacate it on Monday morning. We arrived on a Sunday evening at the property and there were cockroaches crawling everywhere and juveniles. We called the company and said we will stay at our home tonight as it’s not in a condition to stay. We did ask if they could provide an alternative but as we said we’ll just stay at home tonight that was the easier option as it was last minute. They said they would get it fumigated on the Monday.

They had it fumigated and said we could return to the property around 1pm on the Monday to which we said we’d already made alternative arrangements and would like a refund. They’ve said we won’t get a refund for it, I said can we at least get a refund for the first night as it was unfit to stay which they are investigating. I said I was very disappointed with the service.

We have a newborn baby so we did not feel comfortable staying in a house with cockroaches nor a house that had just been fumigated.

Also there was cockroach trap out under the couch so they clearly knew there was issue there.

What are my rights here? Does this seem fair?