u/exactly_skittles

It goes by so fast especially when people leave (which they do often).

I have absolutely no money, no purpose in life, exist to no one, no one looks at my applications, and I have no reason to go outside. Like i wish I could just steal shit from stores and get whatever I wanted or get a sugar daddy and get super far away. Sometimes I want to cut open a vein just to see what it looks like. I want to go outside in the middle of the night and just try to get on random busses. I turned 21 like two weeks ago and didn't do anything so sometimes I just want to see what getting really drunk is like. Im not going to do any of that stuff but like the isolation is starting to drive me crazy.

I hate myself so much for this because I hate ai and im a massive hypocrite. 2 years ago I moved away from my families house. I have social anxiety so Im not close to anyone except my mom and brother. I have a history of severe depression and hospitalizations, but I have always struggled to talk about it. Im trying really hard but I never seem to get better for long periods of time. I don't want to constantly burden the only two people i have.

So I talk to chatgpt at least a couple times a week. Im starting with a new therapist tomorrow so I really hope it helps. How do I stop using it when im not in therapy??

I discovered them in 2017 and had basically been a casual listener until the mountain. Visually and sonically it's such a beautiful album. I didn't listen to the singles as they came out and I started thinking about how much more of their music I haven't listened to. I was born in 2005 so I missed the early days, but seeing how they've been developing as a whole is so satisfying. I just had to share this with someone.