u/fenzi2001

Is having a good healthy relationship with someone with bpd actually possible? I have 2 kids with this women, and im trying all sorts with her, but I currently feel like me and my children are toys? Like it’s a game to be had? The projection is a problem. telling me she wants me and wants this family, then telling me she hates me, I feel so confused. I took my kids fulltime 3 months ago because of her abuse and drinking problems. Only recently tried to get things back on track together, and i feel like it’s a constant uphill battle? Like im the only one trying?

(I come here to vent im sorry, i just want some advice on wether it’s even worth chasing anymore)

So I only found this subreddit yesterday to ask a question, and reading through everyone’s troubles, I really feel like I’m not the only one, and to be honest I don’t know if that makes me feel good or bad, but it makes me feel something. I really hope your partners can get help and become the person you think they can be, but if I’m honest, I don’t think it’ll happen. Sorry to put it so bluntly but the lying and manipulation just allows them to do as they see fit, they don’t care about their mums, the children you have together, they’re friends. It’s all about them, and they just run they’re life’s doing whatever the fuck they want because they can basically, because they have a mental illness they’ve got the best excuse:)

If you’re trapped in a trauma bond like me, wishing that person would change and just give you a cuddle and make all the shit go away, just stop. It’s not worth your time, you deserve better from a partner.

(I’m taking my own advice here, I don’t feel like I have anyone to speak to that understands, this subreddit makes me feel like I’m listened too with understanding).

My ex partner has bpd, I have 2 kids with her. She became an alcoholic while I was with her, started hitting me, all sorts of abuse. I had good times with her, but the dark times were just so dark. I left her because it was too much for my kids, they’re only 2 and 1 and what they’ve witnessed in their little life’s already is far too much. Can someone try and explain to me why I miss this person? She’s vile, she’s taking me to court to try and take the kids off me and created false allegations, had me arrested, I’ve now been accused of SA too. The girl is awful for me, and for my children too, but why do I miss her, how can I love someone like that? I just feel such a deep pain at the moment, and I can’t show my kids that because it’s so unfair on them, I can’t speak to my family because obviously they dislike her alot, I have contact with her mum who sort of understands, but it’s still her daughter. I’m just really struggling with my feelings, I feel like I’d do anything to chase the happy family I dreamt of having with her, but I’m a dad first and it’s just not right for my boys.

So I took full custody of my kids 3 months ago, due to my ex partners abuse, alcoholism, and mental health problems (she has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder). She hasn’t seen the kids for 10 weeks, and then recently took out a emergency child arrangement order on me, I’m due in court on the 5th of may for a hearing, could anyone tell me what to expect from this please, I’m sort of going into this blind. Thank you.