Having a very bad day. Physically exhausted from my brain. Overwhelmed, overstimulated. Any and all advice or just thoughts welcome.
Feeling really frustrated that I’m not able to express how I feel, my bottled up thoughts and feelings are overflowing a bit.
Haven’t recovered from decisions and choices I made in the summer of 2019 and the months following. Regret, shame spiral, pain, embarrassment. And it’s all my fault. I cannot see a way forward through life where I do not feel like this forever. I thought it would pass with time, but it hasn’t.
I cannot talk to anyone about this in real life as it involves insanely shameful and embarrassing secrets. I constantly have negative thoughts about leaving this world. I am a burden.
Any and all advice welcome. Therapy is difficult and I’ve had too many therapists (good and bad) say I’m too “self aware” to help which feels like a slap in the face. Please give me your advice, or if you feel the same please let me know I’m not alone.
I find myself having become a person I do not recognize. I made a lot of mistakes and bad choices that haunt me every single day. I still haven’t recovered from decisions I made in the summer of 2019 and in the months following. Nothing but constant, inescapable and physically painful regret, shame and disappointment in myself. It has been so long. I’m struggling with negative thoughts as I fear there is no way to go on in life without feeling this forever. The years have passed without me realizing it, and I’ve wasted my youth. I struggle to participate in day to day life. I have become completely closed off with no friends. I did this entirely to myself.
What do I do? I cannot look at myself in a mirror anymore, and I cry almost every time I am alone. How do I move forward? What is the point?