u/fuckofffcuntfa

i didnt know whether to tag this as providing or requesting because its kindof both but i really need help/advice and to vent.

for some info, i am 18f and have been dating my 19m boyfriend for a year and 9 months as of today and have been living together for over a year. he was diagnosed with depression at 10 years old and on medication at around 11-13 if im correct, he was on one compound for a while before coming off it for a couple of years ish before we got together and winter cane and he got really bad again.

he’s been on the lower/average dose of a different medication for the entirety of this year and it has stopped the daily manic depressive breakdowns but there is still some big problems.

the main things are his panic attacks and overall low mood. the panic attacks are making him having a job near impossible because even if he works at a place where they see 5 customers an hour he will still somehow manage to be overwhelmed and will just ask me if he can quit on the spot over one panic attack. his low mood is very self explanatory and i dont really think i need to over explain that beyond him being happy maybe 5% of the time and completely flat mood 95% of the time.

the panic attacks are everywhere. no matter what is going on if theres just one tiny thing that can set him off, it will. whether it be something falling from the fridge, more than one person in the kitchen with us, even just getting two texts within a few minutes, he’ll just shut down and not be able to do anything at all.

i hate the fact that it really annoys me but its seriously just impacting everything and i think its extremely exaggerated and dramatic. i have told him about histrionic disorder and he was adamant that he mentions the possibility of that in therapy, because he seems to always come to me for support, validation, help and everything at all whenever anything goes wrong.

ofcourse i want him to be able to talk to me when he needs but i feel like the mother to a child, why am i getting messages everyday saying “please come get me i cant do this i cant do this” whenever hes at work? i’ve been told many times that im feeding into his overdependancy and taking too much responsibility for him but i’m so traumatised from his manic breakdowns that when he says something in a panicked tone i freeze like im held at gunpoint.

it feels like i HAVE to be there for him all the time whenever he needs me no matter what. i have tried being distant during breakdowns, only rubbing his back and saying i love him and itll be okay but it leads to nowhere.

i so hate to say it but im starting to think that he may just be a lost cause and not willing to get better. i dont want to believe it but i think he might also be avoiding therapy since he has missed many appointments regardless of me reminding him many times and it being planned a week in advance.

i love him so much but i dont know how much more i can put into helping him beyond stuff like making him get out the house more and socialise more, what can i even do??

im sorry this is probably a wall of text that makes no sense and diverted from pleading to venting but i really need to know if this is worth salvaging and what i can do to help him if so. our relationship is perfect otherwise and as a boyfriend he’s everything that i want in a man with nothing at all left out (i cant express that enough) but this extra baggage is just too much

soo i have some questions. my measurements are roughly 29 underbust and 35 bust (which would make me around a 30DD i think) but 30 bands are pretty tight on me and 32s can be too.

i was wondering if the cup size affects band size at all or if it stays the same because a 32B is really tight on my back and leaves indentations but a 32D fits somewhat well. i also weirdly fit a size medium in bras regardless of the fact that i fit a XXS-XS in bikinis etc.

if this sounds confusing its because it is lol i genuinely dont know what i can do to find the perfect bra

yeah sweet potato and carrots are bad but ONIONS??? theyre somehow squelchy, squishy, solid AND impossible to chew and swallow as anything but whole?? hell no.

!!trigger warning for eating issues/food struggles and seizures!!

hello, i am 18F and have been struggling with something that only fits FND for three years without any diagnosis beyond my referral letters mentioning it many times.

to put it short, whenever i eat (every single time depending on amount in severity and it is EVERY food so not gluten ataxia fyi), i will get symptoms that make me extremely lethargic and vacant. i have had numerous dissociative seizures according to my partner and have had episodes where my hand has decided to lock up into a fist with my fingers only half curled (if that makes sense) and the other day i ate and came to a minute later and my hand was slamming my fork onto my plate and it was sore like i’d been doing it for a while now.

i had a referral to neurology in march and just got my appointment and he tried very hard to make it a digestive issue even though it happens while im eating?? and then he told me its most likely just an eating disorder and i need a psychologist instead.

im very confused by this because never in my life have i struggled with food beyond having arfid restricting my palate heavily, i think he may have just assumed because im pretty skinny.

but even without all this im so lost as to what it is because even after hours and days spent googling about it and doing so much research these past few years, ive never found anything that would explain food inducing seizures, but fnd would explain everything really. theres a lot more symptoms in my day to day life that fit too, such as speech issues, incontinence, limb weakness, light and sound sensitivity etc.

please dont try diagnose me but any reassurance that im on the right path medically would be amazing. thanks for reading :)

dax’s vocals are still insanely fucking good. i wish he was more confident in them cause omg he sounded amazing. wouldve loved to hear new corpse or god machine but im still so happy with the gig nonetheless

i 18f have been dating my boyfriend 19m for a year and 3 months and his depression is weighing on me a lot and draining me and i need advice on whether its worth sticking it out for love or leaving regardless of what i know will happen if i leave.

for some background, he was diagnosed with depression at the age of 10, he has struggled with it mainly in the form of constant low mood and EXTREMELY erratic volatile breakdowns that almost always result in self harm to the point of self mutilation. when he was 14 he tried to end it all in a pretty gruesome way which he had to be hospitalised for.

for the first few months of our relationship everything was okay, but then he started having episodes that could only be described as dissociative episodes that lasted for near an hour almost every day. they could happen from absolutely nothing. just zoning out for a minute then hes gone. i think this brought on a depressive episode that started around autumn last year.

in this era, as an example, id bring up something that upset me and id explain how it upset me and hed instantly break down shaking violently and would start clawing at his head, pulling his hair out, bashing and scraping his body against things and the only thing i could bring myself to do was trying to hold him down but this ended up being worse for the situation rather than helping since hed take longer to calm down and i got hurt a lot too, getting bruises, grazes, chipped skin, bent nails etc. never once did he intentionally hurt me but it scared me that it never stopped him. if i ever told him i was hurt hed just cry harder and the loop continues.

aa of january i think, he has been on medication but these episodes can still happen every now and then but are very rare and dont happen for as long nor does he hurt himself as impulsively. maybe a grab of his hair just in the heat of the moment for example. he has also been in therapy for about a month (i got him on the waiting list as soon as this started happening but they mistook him saying he tried to kill himself at 14 as he hasnt harmed himself since then SOMEHOW??) so they didnt have him down as an urgent case but as soon as he went in for one session they got a crisis team in for him.

and today he forgot to take his meds for one day and he randomly had a very erratic episode, we were at a meal and he was very distant and admittedly i got slightly annoyed and asked him to be more present because its the last day of our holiday and i wanted to have a good day and he just became completely silent, staring at me. on the walk home he just stood still and broke down in the middle of the street in front of strangers. this made me really anxious and annoyed because of my social anxiety so i brought him home and when we got here he just broke down, cried so hard he threw himself off the bed and fell asleep on the floor. during this he didnt say ONE WORD to me.

i want to know what to so about this. is there anything i can do at all? do i give myself fully away to help him? im not sure how much left of myself i have to give to him.

if you need any more information please let me know and i can tell you. ive had a drink to calm myself down after this so i probably forgot some important stuff. thank you so much if you’ve gotten to this part. <3