How do you deal with specific porn memories that won't leave your mind?
Hi everyone,
I'd describe myself as having a severe porn addiction. I'm in my 30s now, and the longest I've ever managed to stay away from it was about three weeks after my hernia surgery.
At the time, I was determined never to go back. But I still had a few images saved on a USB stick, and I told myself, "Just this once. I'll only look at one picture." Of course, that didn't work. It quickly spiraled out of control again. Even "harmless" images were enough to trigger me, and before I knew it, I was back on the same websites searching for more. It feels like the addicted part of my brain is screaming for dopamine, and eventually I give in.
For me, it seems to be all or nothing. Keeping a few "backup" pictures or short clips just doesn't work. They always pull me back in.
Sometimes I can go several days without porn and actually feel good. But then I'll see something on social media or somewhere else online that reminds me of a specific porn video. Once that happens, it feels like I can't let it go. My brain becomes obsessed with finding that exact video, and it feels like I won't get any peace until I've watched it again.
Has anyone else experienced this? Do you ever get a specific video or image stuck in your head that you just can't stop thinking about? Are you able to ignore those urges? If so, how do you deal with them?
Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance to anyone who replies. Wishing you all the best.