u/gabagoo3

This recently came up in discussion with my family. My dad said you’re supposed to pray and ask for forgiveness from god. My mom said you’re just supposed to be quiet. My brother doesn’t remember what he was taught. I was taught to say The Hail Mary 7 times. We’re all ex-catholic now.

What were you taught?
What are you actually supposed to do?

This has caused me a lifetime of guilt and fear. An endless cycle. The obvious “authority figures” I give or have given power to are police, teachers/school faculty, my parents, my bosses, my in-laws, and the govt. Some are more sneaky. For example: if I’m on bad terms with anyone (friend, partner, coworker, family member), I’ll think of the situation like they are the authority figure. I need to make it right or else I’ll be physically and mentally anxious for days on end. Also, people older than me are authority figures.

I’m so terrified of judgement. People in authority judge you. I’m so terrified of uncertainty. People in authority can let that uncertainty loom.

There’s so much I could say. I’m suddenly realizing SO many things I do in my day to day life are compulsions.

I started Anafranil 2.5 months ago. Currently on 75mg. The thoughts I have feel less anxiety inducing sometimes. I’m new to this diagnosis so I’m curious to learn more about what has affected me and if others have anything to add.