u/ghosted_toasted

More of a rant but also curious.

Has anyone experienced their partner changing after marriage? We've been married for just over a year, together for almost 6 years, moved in at around year 2.

Before we were legally married, we communicated, he'd surprise me with various plans/things, and loved cooking for us. I've been noticing more and more that he gaslights me about any concerns I have about the house, dogs, etc. or anything health related about me (I have some chronic things). I've also become the project manager, literally organizing everything from maintenance calls and contractors to care for our dogs as well as cleaning everything. He says to make a list since he doesn't know what needs to be done (he does have ADHD but still), but when I have done that he still doesn't do it.

We've moved cross-country back in November and only really communicates when his family comes and visits (they used to live 30 minutes from us before we moved cross country).

I feel like we're just roommates doing their own thing and while he definitely changed me for the better, especially early in our relationship, nowadays I find myself just wanting to live by myself.

New to the area. Anyone have recs for landscaping? The backyard is dirt and would like to put some sod in for the pups. All of the places I've contacted me either ghost me, think I'm an idiot, or support the current admin. Thanks.

We've been together for 6 years this fall, married for 1. Now in our early 30s. We've had a lot of changes this past year with both of us getting new jobs and moving cross-country away from family. I feel like I just woke up a few weeks ago after returning from a celebration of life for a father-figure of mine; they didn't join me. My coworkers have been more sympathetic about it than they are, which was part of the awakening prior to flying out. One in particular I'm developing romantic feelings for, which is a bit scary since I have liked to keep that separate in the past. Anyway, while returning from the service, I realized that I'm the one always cleaning, doing dishes, laundry, straightening up, mowing, garbage, project managing with maintenance, etc. They say to make a list to do, but it's more effort for me to make a list vs. just to do things myself. It's only when things get really bad that they notice. Not sure if it's the ADHD but I don't want to create a chore chart or be their mom, which the latter I feel like I'm doing. I enjoy being around them, their humor, and they make me feel safe given everything going on with this admin. But it really does feel like we're just roommates. I miss romance, sleeping in the same bed (he falls asleep in another room), and sex, which we haven't had in over a year. I have no idea how to talk to them about this.

Has anyone just woken up one day due to life happening? Any advice is appreciated.