My mother was a narcissist, and there was an emotional coldness there. I was forced to be mature very young and to rely primarily on myself.
Has anyone else had a difficult childhood emotionally? Did you have Moon conjunct Saturn natal?
Before, I thought I was an empath because it was in my nature. But now I realize that part of it might stem from having a narcissistic mother. And while I used to be naive and open to everyone, I now react differently depending on the person.
In other words, I try to be selectively empathetic. To be kind with kind people. To stay away from narcissists, grey rock them or confront them (when they are strangers trying to bully me for example. Confrontation drains me thought; It's as if I'm not made for that.)
Anyone else being an empath? How do you manage this?
Recently, my narcissistic, covert mother used the tactic of baiting over the phone. It's one of her favorite tactics. I responded to her cutting remark in a tone of muted anger (rather than the greyrocking I usually use) because she had gone too far and was being malicious. She replied, "Don't speak with your brittle tone." I knew that if it continued, it would escalate, so I made sure to change the subject and end the conversation.
A few days later, I'm still trying not to think about it and not to feel angry, but it's taking time. Her insidiousness disgusts me deeply. Does anyone else experience situations like this, and do you have any tips for recovering from it more quickly?
Her vicious behavior has escalated since my father passed away a few years ago. She's rebuilt her network of enablers with her nephews and nieces, acquaintances who have become "her friends." All these people benefit financially and eagerly serve her. As a result, I'm becoming more and more of a scapegoat and a victim of smear campaigns. I had to cut ties with some cousins because the triangulation was becoming unbearable.
Has anyone else noticed this kind of intensification after the other parent left? It might also be due to her getting older (and the fact that I've been gray-rocking for a few years now). Apparently, narcissists can get worse with age.